whisper of hope

My Paper Source Mantra of 2012

2012-01-03T15:14:00.008-06:00

"Do something creative every day."

I was sooooo pumped when the Hill Center added The Paper Source to its specialty shops. Anyone who knows me well knows that paper is my passion. :) I am not kidding.

When I was window shopping and inspiration hunting there last week, I decided to fully embrace their motto and make it my 2012 goal. I think it will be attainable because creativity is one of those words that has a myriad of definitions... It can apply to cooking, sewing, writing--where it is in the form of writing cards, imaginatively with stories and poems, mechanically with calligraphy fanciness, organizing, taking pictures, dating, crafting, mothering, adventuring, saving money, etc... The possibilities are endless. I hope that it will infuse my--and my family's--spirit with inspiration.

In the small things.

On January 1, I made this book:
Something that has become a yearly ritual. It is always a little sad when Christmas card season is over, and I love pouring over them and cataloging them one last time before putting them away until the next season rolls around. They have been great side table decor and have been fun conversation starters.

Isn't this paper unique? I got it for 60% off at Paper Source's after Christmas sale.

January 2: Storyboards

I finally got over my perfectionist procrastinator identity with this project. I wanted to create storyboards of the girls' 3, 6, 9, and 12 month photos. I wanted to wait until they were finished, and I wanted them to "match" even though we used different photographers (and loved BOTH: Brooke Rainey Photography and Aaron Yung Photography. We are blessed to consider Aaron and Brooke dear friends to our family.) Anyway, I got a Hobby Lobby gift card and decided to take advantage of their 50% off custom framing. This is how they turned out:

Here's Addison:

And Ansley:
I described my girls the other day as being "uniquely identical." When we were choosing which pictures to use, we could have found shots from each of their sessions that would have been almost identical... Sometimes I think they look just alike, and other times all I see are their individual traits. They are undoubtedly sisters, and I think (hope and pray) they each got the best parts of Patrick and me.

I can't wait to hang these in our entryway.

January 3: snowmen and imaginative play

Addison made these:
We started off our morning like this:
Both girls in their chairs, pouring over books. Addison loves her new Peter Rabbit collection, and Ansley loves anything she can get her hands on. She signs "more" for books about as enthusiastically as she signs "more" for food. I love this. The more you read, the more you dream, the more your imagination--and vocabulary--develops, the more you, by product, create.

After we made the snowmen, we colored. Ansley is so happy when she gets to have a spot at Addison's table, and this is her first coloring book.
This year, Patrick and I tried to be intentional in what we bought the girls for Christmas. We tried to fill their toy bins--and minds and hearts and spirits--with items that foster innocent, imaginative play, and it has filled our hearts with joy to watch them create worlds that bring Strawberry Shortcake figures, Calico Critters, Lightning McQueen, Mater, Lincoln Logs, and Little People together.

We were born to create, in our own ways, weren't we? Afterall, we were made in the image of our Creator. Here's to growing closer to Him this year as we intentionally walk this path.

Also, to begin this year, I started my in depth study of James, and I'll leave with His words:

"He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all He created." ~James 1:18

Christmas Morning!

2011-12-30T14:14:00.005-06:00

We had to wake up early on Christmas morning to be able to fit in all of our celebrations. The girls were still pretty sleepy when they first saw what Santa had brought.
Maggie, however, was ready for her treat immediately.
It didn't take long for Addison to find and wear her Rapunzel dress either!
We had fun playing with Belle Hopscotch in her Calico Critter House.
Then Ansley discovered her chair!
We opened stockings:

Exchanged gifts with each other:
And soaked in the excitement!

The Night Before Christmas

2011-12-30T13:39:00.005-06:00

When we got home from Grandmama and Granddaddy's house, we gave the girls quick baths and set out our cookies for Santa. We tried to get some sweet pictures of them by the tree in their Christmas pj's but we missed the boat with Addison. She was DONE. These are the best we could do.
Once we got the girls tucked away in their beds, Santa paid us a visit. More on that to come!

Holt Christmas

2011-12-30T13:03:00.006-06:00

On Christmas Eve we headed to my grandparents house to celebrate Christmas with my mom's side of the family. We were glad that all 4 of us were able to attend. I was barely over my bout with the virus and Ansley was still pooping through all of her clothes all day long, but alas, we celebrated.

This was her in outfit number 1. She loved saying "ho ho ho" and finding ornaments on the tree this year.
I tried to get a good picture, but that girl was squirmy...
Christmas dinner at my grandmother's house is one of my favorite meals of the year. Granddaddy's beef tenderloin was probably his best ever this year. I did not partake in my favorite peppermint parfait because of lingering queasiness, but everything else was so good. Look what little girl got to sit at the kids' table this year. They are all getting so big!

My big girl could hardly contain her excitement. This year truly captured the magic of Christmas for kids.
We used to play gift card Dirty Santa, but this year we each brought something that was special to us and read a story where we passed gifts to the left and the right until the story ended. Whatever gift you had at the end of the story was the one you kept. It was an interesting change. Aunt J and Grandmama were sweet to get the kiddos some gifts. Here they are opening them.

This last one makes me laugh. My baby HATES baby dolls. She makes mean faces at them and throws them. If I hold one to "comfort" it, she gets jealous and hits it... This one moment captures her actually smiling at her baby doll. She promptly threw it about 2.5 seconds later.

Here are some pics of other family members:

Our annual cousin shot:
Can't believe they sat long enough to catch these:
Finally a better one with my baby girl:

Eagle's Nest Christmas

2011-12-29T21:32:00.008-06:00

Before 2011 says its final adieu, I need to catch up on Christmas posts.

Despite all 4 of us being plagued with the stomach bug during the entire week before (and both girls were on antibiotics for other illnesses on top of that), our family managed to squeeze every bit of fun out of Christmas.

The girls had a big party at school, and I snuck away from my 7th period AP kids who were writing their hearts out on a style analysis of Anna Quindlen's "The Name is Mine." (Side note: I figured out a long time ago that if I am going to have to grade a bunch of essays before Christmas, I might as well assign something that I am going to WANT to read... Oh how I love Anna Quindlen.)

Here is Ansley waiting for her present:

Here she is walking with her buddy Molly. They are 6 weeks apart, and Ansley is about to move up to the 1-year old room with her in January. I have mixed emotions.

Here is Addison opening her gift. I did not know it at the time, but she was running a 103 temp that day. Bless her.

Here are the three musketeers. You can even see Juli Claire and Stella behind them.

That afternoon we went to Jack and Juli Claire's to make Christmas cookies. Here are the sweet kiddos decorating them:

It started out innocently enough...

But it quickly turned to this:

And then this...

They thought they were beautiful. :) While the cookies were baking, the kids made thumb print manger ornaments with Wren.

And then we enjoyed these yummy gingerbread cookies. See, we managed to salvage a few!

Gingerbread Lane has a new resident.

2011-12-22T21:56:00.005-06:00

Meet "House of Bubba," according to Addison. She also said that Dora and Captain live there sometimes...

Daddy was the builder/engineer:

I was the icing decorator, and Addison was the boss. She bossed us up and down and all around, and she was the Candy Queen. She decided where every type of candy and every little piece would go and occasionally consulted me... Just occasionally though... :)

Don't I just look awful here? Almost like the mean Elphaba Wicked Witch... I must have been concentrated or frustrated and definitely unaware of Patrick snapping a picture. BTW, Thanks, Patrick... Gotta keep it real, though, I guess, and I like this one of Addy-Belle. She looks so proud. Ansley-bug was our mascot of the event, and she was usually in the lap of whoever had the camera.

This is our first masterpiece.

The green tree was Addison's craft mentioned in the previous post. It was the perfect addition to our little abode.

2nd time Santa=Success!

2011-12-22T10:17:00.004-06:00

Saturday morning we had breakfast with my dad's family: Grandmama and Granddaddy Dean, Aunt Gail and Roger, Grant, Suzanne, Murphy, and Mann...and Addison and me. At about 1:30 a.m. the night before, Ans woke us up with a frightened cry, and we went upstairs to find our poor pitiful sweetie a victim of the stomach bug. It has been a rough one that she is still recovering from... So Addison and I went to this gathering as a duo. Here is Addison peering out of a rocket ship that the big kids colored and adventured in.
Addison was making an ice cream cone Christmas tree. I was trying to "help" but should have known she wouldn't want any. :)
I think she licked more icing than what made it on her tree:
The best we could do of these 5 cousins who are always busy movers:
We missed Ansley a bunch!

And then... we went to see 2 of Santa's reindeer! We heard from the North Pole that Santa was going to be bringing some of his reindeer to Brentwood, and wanting to avoid the germs at home as long as possible, Addison and I decided to go see them. We talked Savannah into joining us too...

Addison and Savannah named these two Cupid and Donner, but they were really Dancer and Clarice. I couldn't believe it, but these two girls even pet the reindeer.
While we were standing in line, sweet Savannah said to me, "Kiki, I need to tell you two things. We have to make sure that Addison gets to tell Santa what she wants for Christmas this time, ok. And then I want us to eat at Subway Eat Fresh together." I love the way she looks out for her cuz. Here is a picture of them together on Santa's lap.
I had one happy little girl that night. As she was drifting off to sleep that night, she said, "Momma, Santa Claus is just sooooo nice. I think I'll be a good girl tomorrow too, okay?"

Thanks for the pictures, Linds. :)

1st Trip to See Santa=Epic Fail

2011-12-21T22:31:00.005-06:00

Last week, we went to see Savannah's preschool Christmas program. We were so excited to see her perform (especially Addison), and we were even more excited that Santa was going to be here. This is how our picture turned out:

Addison had been looking forward to this for WEEKS. She knew exactly what she wanted to say, and she was even a little nervous. Can't you see the mixture of pride and shyness in her stance and smile? Ansley... went ballistic. Immediately. Poor Santa. Even though I knew to expect it (We even chose not to take Addison to see Santa when she was this age), it still rattled me, and I had Patrick snap this picture so we could quickly move on and avoid making a scene. We walked around the corner, and Addison stopped in her tracks. She took some short quick breaths and poked out her bottom lip while tears welled up in her eyes. I had no idea what was wrong. She finally stammered, "I didn't get to sit in his lap and tell him that I've been good. He doesn't know about Rapunzel's dress..."

Fail.

Bad Mommy.

Thankfully all was not lost. We celebrated with this little sweetie who absolutely rocked the 4-year-old class' performance. She worked it and melted my heart in the process.

She was super sweet to her cousins too.

On the way home, we decided to write Santa a letter, and thankfully we heard he was going to be in town with his reindeer later that week...

Teachers' Gifts

2011-12-12T15:56:00.006-06:00

This year we had a lot of teacher's gifts to buy. Between Addison and Ansley, the lead teachers in their classrooms, the high school co-op student teachers, and then the 1-year-old classroom that Ansley has been transitioning into, we 8 special ladies to do something for.

I got this idea on Pinterest and Addison helped me make them.
A couple more up close:
We got clear frames from the Dollar Store and used coordinating scrapbook paper and ribbon that I had on hand for the backing and embellishments. Then I stuck a post-it note pad on there to finish it off. I am going to make one for my desk at school also!

Then we put them and some other goodies into these bags. Addison decorated the tags (also found from Pinterest.)

We are playing Santa's elves tomorrow at school. Hope they like them!

Here's the best shot we could get of my little family of 4 after my early birthday dinner with my extended family last night at the yummy Olive Garden.

Christmas Favorites: Music Addition

2011-12-08T09:42:00.008-06:00

I love Christmas music and would listen to it all year if I could. My new favorites are these albums:

My favorite songs are "Under the Mistletoe" and his version of "Little Drummer Boy" with Busta Rhymes.

We bought this album after he performed on The TODAY Show right before Thanksgiving. I asked Addison if she knew who he was, and she said, "Yeah. That's Justin Bever. Avery has Bever Fever." When I asked her if she knew what that was, she replied with a sad face, "Yeah. It's when you get real real sick because you love the Bever so much." I could not stop laughing. I asked her if she had it, and she said, "Oh no, but maybe when she is big--like when she is 4."

We also love Michael Buble's new Christmas album. Who doesn't, right?

My forever favorites are the Amy Grant classics, "Tender Tennessee Christmas" and "Breath of Heaven." I remember memorizing the words to the first one and wishing I was Amy herself.

In college, some of my favorite memories include riding around with Jesse and/or Ashley and listening to these 2 songs on repeat.

"Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus" by Sandra McCracken and Derek Webb (If you are not familiar with this version of this song, go listen to it on Grooveshark. I promise you will listen to it on repeat. It is just beautiful to my soul. :))

"Wintersong" by Sarah McLaughlin

They are still some of my favorites. In fact, my study hall has heard "Come Thou, Long Expected Jesus," about 5 times already. :) Let me know if there are others that I would LOVE to add to my playlist!

From our House to yours... with cotton balls...

2011-12-07T22:30:00.006-06:00

Wishing you Merry Christmas with our family Christmas card for the year...

Every year I feel like I write about how much I love Christmas cards, and this year is no different. I was excited to get to use Ansley and Addison's 1 and 3-year-old pictures for our card this year. I have sent out my first 2 waves, and I have a third in processing. I used Shutterfly this year because I had a giftcard left over from school pictures. That worked out well for us! There were so many deals out there this year, it seemed like. I'd love to hear the cheapest game in town and find out if the quality matched...

Also, I wanted to share the super easy advent calendar that I found on Pinterest. I almost blew off the whole thing this year, but this one is totally effortless and super adorable. All you need is a printer, some cotton balls, and some glue. Addison thinks it is soooooo cool.

Would love to hear about any other advent traditions and activities that your family does!

Christmas Reads

2011-12-06T21:23:00.004-06:00

Earlier this fall, I pinned that thing on Pinterest where you wrap up Christmas books for each day and then open one a day to read. Well, I love books, so I thought that would be the perfect thing for my girls to enjoy during the season of Advent... all in the spirit of waiting for the wonderfulness...

Well, I couldn't handle it. I like to read The Night Before Christmas EVERY night... Mostly because Addison can read it to me, and I wanted to have the Jingle Bells book out so that I can teach her to play it on her keyboard, and I like to read as many books as the girls will let me read to them at night. Bottom line--I couldn't handle the waiting... Maybe next year.

These are some of my favorite classics. Some of these are mine from childhood. Others I have picked up at specialty books shops along the way.

#1. The Sweet Smell of Christmas:

This scratch and sniff book was mine when I was a little girl, and it STILL smells. It is Addison's favorite.

#2. Over the River and Through the Woods

While technically it is about Thanksgiving, it has that lovely wintery feel that can take you through all of the holiday season.

#3 The Doll's Christmas

This is my new favorite of this season, and I look forward to having these celebrations with my girls when Addison and Ansley are old enough to have friends over for a party like this.

We are also enjoying reading about Jesus's birth every night. We sing "Silent Night," "Away in a Manger," and "Angels We Have Heard on High" as we read. Addison gets the giggles and requests me to sing it opera style. :) Even though we have good fun, I don't think the meaning is lost.

What a special opportunity to experience Christmas with little children. I am so glad that even when I outed my parents all those years ago, my mom continued to teach me about the magic of Christmas. Any other good book recommendations?

Trimming our trees

2011-12-06T21:08:00.003-06:00

We broke all the rules and put up our tree early. Who am I kidding, we've done that several times in recent years. We travel the weekend after Thanksgiving, so that is out. I am a teacher so I usually have the week (or some years, part of the week) off. Time off=time to decorate. Bottom line for my justification is this: I like to enjoy my tree, and I have a fake one, so why not enjoy it as long as possible.

This year we got the girls little trees for their rooms. Addison decorated hers with all of the ornaments on the top branch. I think she was trying to make it tip like Charlie Brown's. :)

While we were getting all of our dishes out and setting up our dining room and kitchen, the girls enjoyed their favorite pastime:

The next day we got our big tree out, and Addison exclaimed, "It's the biggest tree in the WORLD!!!" She looked through sentimental ornaments and found her favorite. Dora is Ansley's favorite this year too. She sings: "Da-Da-Da-Da Dahwa"

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

I got a wild hair...

2011-12-05T16:44:00.009-06:00

and decided to host a Christmas Open House for my neighbors...

Somewhere during one of my rereads of The Mission of Motherhood, I wrote myself a post it note that said: "Open up your home to your neighbors. Do it. No excuses." I found it stuck in a November page when I did my daily devotional over Thanksgiving and broached the subject of hosting an open house with Patrick. He was on board, and we discussed what our motivation would be. We summed it up these ways:

1. Aside from our 2 next door neighbors' families who we love, we don't know our neighbors well. We need to. If we don't know them, we can't reach out to them.
2. We want to teach our girls about hospitality and community.
3. We want to have a clean and decorated home. (Honestly, sometimes my biggest motivation to have people over is so that I will HAVE to clean my bathrooms. Seriously.)

(We added the Santa this year because we thought we needed to "up" our decor for the girls. They LOVE it. Ansley "Ho ho ho's" every time she sees it.)

When we looked at our calendars and the Titan's football schedule, we realized that the only date that would be feasible would be this Sunday. At that point, I almost backed out, but I saw that post it note again, and I thought, "no excuses." We prayed about it, we asked the Lord for guidance and blessings, and we went for it. I mixed and matched some Christmas invitations that I had on hand, and I hand wrote this greeting on them:

Jingle Jingle, let the neighbors all mingle.

Let's get together for some holiday cheer,
And get to know the families who live so near.

Please join us for a
Christmas Open House

Details...Details... Details...

Because it was last minute, I walked the invites to the mailboxes in the freezing rain at 10:30 p.m. on Tuesday night, and honestly didn't know if anyone would show up.

I went to Costco and got some petite quiches, spinach dip, and pigs in a blanket. Then Addison and I made candy cane cookies, pumpkin muffins, and a snowball with graham cracker sticks. (Recipe below, and pictured on the Snowman with the mitten and boots spreaders) We served hot cider and water, and we waited in anticipation.

Addison was especially excited. She prayed for her neighbors, and after baking all morning on Saturday, she woke up from her nap and thought the party was that day. She was devastated when I told her it would be the next day (I think mostly because she really wanted to eat the candy cane cookies she had slaved over...).

Our party turned out to be so fun. We only had about half of the people come, but that allowed us to have real and meaningful conversations with them. It allowed us to make connections that hopefully the Lord will bless in the future. The kids were hilarious together. They snuck food and swapped elf stories. One of them said, "Hey, guys, I bet our elves meet up each night to fly back to the North Pole." Another gave tips on how to get a girl elf in the future. It was entertaining eavesdropping for sure! We were so thankful and so blessed with an absolutely lovely Sunday afternoon.

Here are a couple of pictures of my little sweeties after church yesterday.

Snowball Recipe:

1 pkg cream cheese, softened
5 cups powdered sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup of shaved coconut

Mix ingredients. Form into a ball. Roll in remaining coconut flakes. Refrigerate for 1 hour. Serve with graham cracker sticks. Make sure you have a big party and can share the goodness because otherwise you will eat it ALL.

Hope you are enjoying this season of advent!

Back Tracking

2011-12-03T14:09:00.004-06:00

Kids grow up too fast, don't they?

I now have a baby who no longer takes a bottle or crawls, and a little bit of my heart hurts that this phase is past us. I now think I understand one of the reasons why people keep having babies!

I have been confounded at what to get Addison for Christmas. All she asked Santa Claus for was a Rapunzel dress and some balls. Done and Done. Since I really only buy toys for my girls at birthdays and Christmas (although I do stockpile at consignment sales), I have been trying to dream up something for Addison's "big gift." (Ansley's is a PBK Anywhere Chair.)

Her loves are coloring, writing, reading, playing dress up, playing make believe, making up stories, Dora, Strawberry Shortcake, and princesses. The princess phenomenon is a real thing for little girls, and, I even think, healthy in some way. When I read Dobson's Bringing Up Girls, I appreciated his perspective that the princess culture helps girls set their standards high for the way they should be treated, and I get that.

I have been proud that Addison's favorite princess is Belle--because she loves books, loves learning, has high aspirations, is not afraid to be different, and looks past outside beauty as she falls in love with the beast. I like Rapunzel's spirit, but I am not loving her new infatuations with Ariel and Tinkerbell. Let's face it, they have bad attitudes and Ariel is very ugly to her father... I know that may seem overdramatic to some, but my very impressionable 3-year-old takes her cues from these heroines. She doesn't like something, and she calls it a "stupid tinker." She pouts like Ariel when she doesn't get her way... So I am back tracking.

Of course I am not going to ban the princess love in our home. That would be ridiculous and unnecessary, but I do want to focus on Addison and Ansley having the room to develop their imaginations in innocent, pure, and childlike ways. I want to give them things to play with that reinforce our family values. I want to give them the opportunity to stay "young" as long as possible because, after all, they grow up fast enough as it is.

I also came to this conclusion because I have noticed that when there is also a little sister in the mix, the little sister gets into what the big sister is doing much faster than otherwise. This makes me want to protect my daughters' innocence even more. Since our family is blessed with 2 little girls, I have decided I am going to save some things--like a nice doll house, for example--until they are both old enough to appreciate them.

My conversations with friends and scouring the internet has lead me to some interesting finds. Addison's "big gift" this year is going to be this:

I think she will love this. She adores Peter Rabbit and is getting the complete collection of those books for Christmas. She loves make believe and playing with miniatures, and I hope that she will create many special stories and adventures with this. Plus if she likes it a bunch, there are more homes and families that we can add to her collection. There is an entire Calico Critter community. (Check the link above to find out more about them.)

Mom friends out there, what are you getting your 3-year-olds for Christmas?

Thankful Hearts

2011-11-30T23:09:00.007-06:00

I really enjoyed this Thanksgiving season. I usually am ready to push that turkey aside and hurl myself right into Christmas a few weeks too early, but this year, I wanted to give the turkey his due. I think I got into the spirit of the season when I made these turkey shirts for the girls. It was my first shot at an applique--I got the idea from Pinterest... where else?--so it was really messy and very imperfect, but I loved them anyway. I freehanded the design; my wonder-under fell apart, and then I just went for it with lots and lots of pinning and seam ripping. :) We still wore them every week. :)

Because all moms are partial to their children, I say with no reservations that I could just gobble them up...

We had April and the Stephens boys over one afternoon for some turkey fun. Addison and Carter decorated these cookies as turkeys and make some construction paper/toilet paper roll turkeys. April and I loved having an excuse to get together, and we also loved actually getting to do things that we had both "pinned." [Maybe even more than our little turkeys did...] Even though we just live across neighborhoods from each other, it is hard with little ones to make playdates happen as often as we'd like. We all sure do love it when they do. I am so thankful for such neat friends who have such neat kids to go through life with.

I was excited to get to participate in The Eagle's Nest Thanksgiving Feast with Addison and Ansley.

It made me even more thankful to have my girls just down the hall from me at school. Addison was so proud of her crafts and decorations and she loved showing off her friends.

Pictured below is one of her best buddies, Jack (she calls him her "school husband" and they have been sweet friends who take care of each other since they were itty bitty babies) with his sister Juli Claire (who is one of Ansley's best buds), and their mom Jen (who is one of my best buds and the only friend I've ever had who shared the same birthday as me... Plus, we show up to school dressed exactly alike too often for it to be coincidental...)

We enjoyed a nice week long break from school, and I was thankful to drink coffee in my real coffee cup while holding by babies and watching the TODAY show... During this week, we slept in, made Daddy a birthday present, painted, colored, went to the mall, decorated for Christmas, made thankful trees, caught "Bieber Fever," spent time with family, and traveled to Louisville to spend time with more family. I taught Addison how to sing "Over the river and through the woods..." and how to play "Jingle Bells" on her keyboard. We stopped and reflected on our blessings. One of my favorite memories of this Thanksgiving will be Ansley's version of Gobble-Gobble which sounded more like Boggle-Boggle. :) My other favorite part was listening to my 3-year-old who, unprompted, went around the Thanksgiving table and called everyone by name, and directly asked them what they were thankful for in her sweet little voice. She then repeated it the next night in Louisville. I almost did gobble her up right then and there.

Here was my Thanksgiving project--I Christmas-treed up a dress for Addison. Sewing ribbon onto an already made dress was more difficult than it looks. I'm choosing to embrace my crooked little tree on this dress. :)

Playing catch up

2011-11-30T22:53:00.004-06:00

I just realized that it is almost December, and I never blogged about Halloween... Don't want to miss this opportunity to post pics of my little sweethearts.

We kept it simple this year and let the girls dress in their birthday party themes: a ladybug and Dora. They got to trick or treat at school with their friends.
They even came to Mommy's room:

It was super cold that night, so we quickly transitioned our Dora into a little butterfly--which I thought complimented her little ladybug sis so well. Thank goodness for dress up boxes, right! We got to trick or treat with some cute pirates after our traditional 1st chili of the season supper.

Addison is so into every holiday this year, and Halloween was super fun for her. Addison is really into scary stories; she loves ghosts and witches and getting scared--but no too scared. She and Savannah went all around our neighborhood and then went through their loot like Linds and I used to. This Halloween was fun for me too--especially considering that I spent the last one in the hospital with a super-jaundiced Ansley, and we missed out on the tricks and treats. We sure did soak it all up this year.

Holidrama

2011-11-29T16:48:00.003-06:00

Holidays are beautiful and magical, but as an adult, and more recently, a parent, I have learned to adjust my expectations. I haven't taken a negative view--I still love every single minute of holidays. I've had my tree and decorations up for weeks. I've been preparing crafts and stories for celebrating the advent. Our calendars are full with Christmas events. We even brought out our elf Bubba this weekend, but when I reread this Christmas Llama Llama book to Addison for the first time this year, and sweet little llama had his meltdown, it hit me that there is only so much a 3-year-old and 1-year-old(or anybody, really) can take when it comes to holidays.

It isn't about squeezing in every event--the breakfasts with Santa, trips to Opryland to see the lights, ornament swaps, open houses, work parties, church special services, or even benevolent acts of taking food, wrapping gifts, and other serving opportunities. It isn't about making everybody "happy." Don't we all feel pulled to make every friend and family member feel happy and special and satisfied that they got "their time" in? Sure, those things are important... they matter... we even want to do most of them...

But sometimes it just takes a meltdown of a preschooler and/or toddler to make us stop and reflect and ask ourselves, What is all of this for?

Even as I write this, I am frantically cleaning my house for an Open House that we are hosting for neighbors this weekend. I'm addressing Christmas cards each day so I can get them out when I set my goal. I'm trying to fit in every fun event that friends and family have planned. So I know I am challenging myself as I write this.

However, this year I am giving myself permission to say "no." Not just no for the sake of being contrary, but a no for the sake of family time, a no for the sake of knowing my kids and their thresholds, a no for the sake of sanity.

I also am going to try be intentional about the things I say yes to. I hope to remember the spirit of the season, the joy of the grace we have received, and the love that permeates this time of year. I hope to make each moment count for something. I hope to snuggle with my kids and my husband in front of the fire with hot chocolate and Justin Bieber Christmas. I am going to teach Addison about Jesus' love for us--what joy that brings! I am going to add a cotton ball to Santa's beard each day as we count down to Christmas. When we host neighbors, swap ornaments, and spend time with family, I will love every minute of it.

And if one of my kids has a meltdown due to the holidrama, I am going to scoop them up, give them a hug, show them some grace, and then shake it off. Thanks for that, llama llama.

Let her eat cake...

2011-11-21T10:37:00.010-06:00

Well, it happened. Somehow, our baby turned 1, and I am still reeling at how fast this year went by.

Part 2 of our celebration included Ansley eating her very own birthday cake, something that at one point during the first year of her life, I wasn't sure would ever happen. If you've been around here, you know that she suffers with severe allergies to milk and eggs (and earlier in her life, to MANY other things). Thankfully she got to eat her very own ladybug (not to be mistaken for porcupine :) ) cake:
The winning recipe (I tried several) was 1 box Classic Duncan Hines Yellow cake mix (the only milk free kind I have found), 1 can of pumpkin, and 1/2 cup of water.

We stripped her down to watch for rashes, but there was no need because she did GREAT!

I made each of the cousins their own bugs and the adults cupcakes with these cute toppers.
We started off her party with a prayer from Patrick over her precious life.
Then we ate lunch. I served only things that Ansley could eat, and our menu was barbeque sandwiches, baked beans, chips, apples, and cake. The kids had some hot dogs too. Ansley had her favorite: bananas and peas. :) She'll end up being the healthiest eater of all of us.
Then we had cake!
And opened presents...

Then we went outside for some family pictures.

For treats, I got the girl cousins ladybug cups, stickers, and bubbles. I got Sawyer a book and bubbles. I also displayed her costume picture that I took on her actual birthday, the invitation the Haley designed for her, and her costume. We ladybugged it out! :)
And finally, my sweet girl on her birthday:

At one-year-old, Ansley weighs 20 pounds, 3 ounces and is in the 30th%, is 29 3/4 inches long and is in the 70th%, and has a head in the 95%.

She is learning to walk, and takes more steps and gains more confidence each day.

She moves her mouth all the time, and some of her new words are "gobble, tree, night-night, peas, potato, chicken, Bible, this, look, book, Elmo, Big Bird, Dora, and Boots.

Her favorite foods are peas and bananas and cheerios. As of last Thursday, she is no longer a breastfed baby! She is drinking 20 ounces each day of the second stage soy formula from a cup (but I still give her a bottle at night)! We are going to keep her on this for a little while so that she can have a complete nutrition for a little longer, and then we are going to transition her to straight soy milk. She is eating a mixture of finger foods and pureed foods. Getting her nutrition is my main concern with our slow start, so I am taking my time with making her do all finger foods.

She loves books. Elmo's So Big, Are You Ticklish?, Twinkle Toes, and Brown Bear are her current faves. At night, when I am reading to her, she signs for "more" when we finish a book. It makes my heart so happy.

We are thankful to have a happy little one year old in our house! Thanks to everyone who celebrated her birthday with her. She is so blessed!

Ansley-bug's 1st Birthday Party: Part 1

2011-11-14T16:41:00.007-06:00

I cannot believe my baby girl is 1.
This has been a long and hard and wonderful and special year with her, and we celebrated her birthday ladybug style. We had 2 celebrations for her, and the first one was an after school ladybug picnic with friends.

I wanted to document her growth and changes throughout the year, so I made this month by month banner:
The tissue paper flowers are leftover from Addison's Dora Soiree. I also wanted to decorate her high chair because I knew we'd take pictures of her smashing her cake. I wish I'd gotten a close up of the ladybugs in between the words. I had tooooo much fun with those. :)

For this party I served pink lemon/limeade, homemade tortilla chips and guacamole and salsa, apples, pumpkin spice muffins, and chex mix for the kids. Here is a picture of the spread:
I know the tablecloth is a little wrinkled. While I love the details of things, I am oblivious to those kinds of details. I was just excited that at the last minute, Patrick found this in our linen closet.
I am going to do a separate post on her cake (an allergy-related post), but here is a picture of the mini pumpkin spice muffins and toppers that I made. We devoured them!
I found this grassy piece in my mom's guest room and the ladybug eggs in my holiday tub when we pulled out our fall stuff, so that was an easy kitchen table centerpiece.
For treats, I got these ladybug wings for the baby girls, the books for the baby boys and babies on the way, and the bubbles for the big kids.
I made the tags below:
Ansley did not love her hat at this party:
But she DID love being sung to:
And she loved opening her presents:
I am so lucky to work with some of my closest friends. Through our friendships, our children have also bonded. Many of them spend most of their days together in the Eagle's Nest. Even cooler, 4 of us had 4 precious girls within 9 months of each other. Here are the 4 sweet baby girls and their mommies. These are Ansley's friends from school:
Jen and Juli Claire (6 months); me and Ans (12 months); Angie and Stella (4 months); Wren and Molly (13 months).

Thanks for celebrating her birthday and for all the prayers and encouragement from the past year, dear friends.

6 years and growing...

2011-11-13T14:37:00.002-06:00

Then...

and Now...
To celebrate our 6th anniversary on October 21, we went to Stoney River. It was delicious! We reminisced about our 10 years of being together. We sure have had our shares of ups and downs with all of life's twists and turns, but the good definitely outshines it all. We pray that our life will leave a legacy of love.

Fall Break in Alabama

2011-11-12T14:49:00.007-06:00

This year for Fall Break, we headed down to Alabama. We spent the weekend with out dear friends the Blackburns, and on Saturday, we spent the day in Auburn at my Chi Omega Reunion. Our whole fam was planning to go, but Ansley got a little sick on Saturday morning, so Patrick stayed with her, and I took my big girl with me. To say she was excited was an understatement:
I LOVED getting to reconnect with these ladies. It refreshed me so much to still be so proud to be a part of such a neat organization. These women are still the ones I would choose to do life with if our paths crossed in the same towns. They are interesting, kind, smart, and they have super cute kids.

These are my roommates who were there with our kids.

Here are some more with kids.

When we got back to Montgomery that afternoon, we made cupcakes to celebrate all of our kids' birthdays.

They all turned 3 and 1 within 11 weeks of each other. We blew out candles and opened presents and played hard.
We got to go to our old church from Patrick's youth ministry days on Sunday and reconnect with some old friends, and before we came home we had one more photo op.
We love getting to see the Blackburns. They really are more like family than friends, and our kids love each other. Oliver introduced Addison to neighbors and church kids as "his best friend." We are so thankful to get to raise our kids together!

It was a perfect getaway.

Pumpkin Patch

2011-11-12T14:30:00.005-06:00

On October 8, our family made our annual trip to the pumpkin patch at Gentry's Farm. Last year we ran into Lindsay and Daniel and their kiddos. This year we decided to make it happen on purpose. We all had a ball.

Gentry's Farm's activities get more fun each year as the girls get bigger. This year we enjoyed the hayride, the tire swing, weaving and playing in the kitchen in the little house, petting the animals, playing on the playground, going through the maze, and looking at pumpkins.

We are so thankful to have such a fun place that's so close to home!

Documenting Life--flashback style

2011-11-12T14:01:00.003-06:00

Before I post about recent events, I am going to have to catch up on documenting life. We celebrated Addison's 3rd Birthday Dora Style, and I did a brief post but wanted to record my thoughts and reflections--and the details here for memory's sake.

Make a digital slideshow

We had her party the Saturday before her Tuesday Birthday. She has had a love affair with Dora since she could speak thanks to a big cousin Savannah's exposure, and I did not want her preschool years to go by without celebrating her favorite character.

We decided to have the party at my parents' house since we decided to rent a bounce house. They have a much bigger yard. I decided to go high on the entertainment this year and low on the food. Here is the rundown.

Activities:

Making silly hats. It's from Dora's Silly Fiesta Episode. I found inspiration here and a pattern here. We used felt for the hats (Thanks for cutting them out, Heather), pipe cleaners to fasten them, and foam sticky shapes, poms, and jewels to embellish them.
Coloring and playing in the cardboard Dora House. It is pictured in the slideshow and is similar to this. This was a gift from our neighbors--thanks Mark, Andrea, Laura, and Andrew. All of the kids loved it as an option.
Jumping in the Dora Bounce House. We rented one from here. Kids and adults alike loved it... I might be jumping in it in some of the pictures. :) Seriously, though, my friends kept commenting on how nice it was to have the children "caged" so that ALL could enjoy the party. :)
Dancing on the Deck--to Dora Music... and Maroon Five's "Moves Like Jaggar." Those little kiddos had some moves too.

Refreshments:

Yummy Yummy Dora Princess and Scepter Publix Cake
Cupcakes
Popcorn
Goldfish
Juice Boxes

Decorations:

Homemade Banners
Martha Stewart's Tissue Paper Poms
Martha Stewart's Tissue Paper Streamers. Inspiration for both found here.
Things that Wren donated to me leftover from Olivia's 2nd party--table cloths, plates and napkins

Favors (depending on age and gender, some compilation of the following):

Dora pencils
Dora notepads
Dora whistles (thanks, Wren :) )
Dora bracelets
Dora watches
Dora fruitsnacks
in Dora treat bags (thanks again, Wren!)

Sidenote: I never knew how much Dora was out there... Addison got 11 different Dora birthday cards, and only one repeated... Crazy!

Highlight of the whole day: the sheer excitement on Addison's face. She had a BALL!

278

2011-10-14T17:26:00.003-05:00

That's how many essays I have graded in the last month.

Add 85 journals, 139 tests, and numerous other quizzes and classwork assignments, and you have one tired teacher.

One burnt out teacher.

Here's hoping for some rest and refreshment for a weary soul this weekend.

Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."

Matthew 11:28

Our little pumpkin...

2011-10-11T07:08:00.008-05:00

is 11 months old! She's is also large and in charge.

This month Ansley is eating chicken, pork, sweet potatoes, bananas, apples, peaches, pears, green beans, carrots, squash, peas, oatmeal, puffs, and new this month, PUMPKIN! (I'm trying things I may use in her cake. See post below.) She has also had 2 bottles of soy formula, and we are testing her body's agreement with that before I wean her at a year.

Ansley is busy and is into EVERYTHING. Her favorite toy is the play kitchen, and she already hides things in the oven. She loves to walk behind her bus or kitchen chairs, but has not ventured out on her own, aside from the occasional step, just yet. She loves making marks with sidewalk chalk. She is also loving swinging at the park, after her initial resistance to being put into the swing.

She adores her big sister. [She also has become a pesky little sister, pulling Addison's hair, taking toys away and saying "mine," and "no no no'ing" her. Then she just laughs and laughs.]

She talks all the time. My list of her words grows every day. Most recently she has learned to say all the babies' names [her friends] in her room at school: Stella, Juli, and Ady. Being the oldest, she bosses them around and "no no no's" them quite a bit, I fear. :) She is also saying her version of the following: mama, dada, Maggie, Addy, Ah-oh spaghetti-os, down, more, yeah, no, oh, bye-bye, ball, puff, (ba)nana, baby, mine, nigh-night, I did, Elmo, Dora, Sawyer. She's working on pumpkin and scarecrow, but she still mostly just points and "oh's" those. She also tries to sing the abc's. It sounds like "ah, beh, sey, deh, babble babble babble." It cracks her up. I LOVE watching her mind at work and seeing her sense of accomplishment when she does something new.

She still loves all the same books, but she has shown preference for Twinkle Toes this month and is loving the touch and feel "Spooky" book.

At school she naps once a day, but on Wednesdays and at home, she naps 2x a day. When our schedule can allow it, she sleeps 12 hours at night. She has 4 teeth: her bottom two, and her top fangs. Don't know what it is about my girls getting their vampire fangs first, but it's pretty cute.

This month she has been to some of her first friend birthday parties: her friend Molly's 1st princess birthday (along with her 3-year-old sister) and her sister Addison's 3rd. She saw those presents and knew just what to do.

[Notice her "Littlest Princess" shirt and her princess skirt. Of course, she is holding her sister's magic slipper. :)]

[A scrunched up grin right after we had to take away one of her sister's presents. Stinker.]

Good thing too, because we'll be celebrating with a lady-bug picnic for our Ansley-bug in a couple of weeks...

Her creative 3 year old brain

2011-10-10T08:25:00.006-05:00

Last Friday, at show and tell day, the kids were supposed to bring in something to represent their pets. It was pet week. We packed a stuffed "Maggie" in Addison's backpack, and she told us what she was going to share with her friends.

Well, when Circle time came on Friday, she saw all of her friends going to their cubbies to get their things. Confused, she went to her cubby and pulled out her lovey that has a frog on the end of it. Miss Ana said that she could tell Addison's mind was turning. She could see her mouthing something, like she was practicing, as she was listening to the other children sharing about her pets.

When it was her turn, Miss Ana said, "Addison, is there someone you would like to show us?" She said, "yes," held up her frog lovey and continued, "My name is Addison Camille Crawford, and this is my special frog named Ariel. Ariel is my pet frog who is very precious to my family. We got her when I was a little baby. We love her so much. Thank you." Sweet girl forgot about Maggie. Bless her and bless Maggie, but I thought it was hilarious that she was not going to be left out of this event. It was even funnier because this lovey is her school lovey that she rarely naps with and has no emotional attachment to... She created a story on the spot. This is a perfect snapshot of Addison at 3.

I'm still working on loading and collecting pictures from our camera and family members' cameras so I can document the birthday party, but I wanted to load some phone pics and document Addison at 3.

3-year-old Addison melts my heart.

We interviewed her on video, and she told us that her favorite food is cake, her favorite stores are Publix and Books-a-Million, and her best friends are Savannah, Jack, Olivia, and Captain. Her imaginary friend/crush is still hanging in there. :)

We thought she might have forgotten about him, but the other night, she "couldn't go to sleep because she was too busy," so she said. I laid there and scratched her back and told her to think of happy things. She said, "Ok, mom, I'm just going to think about Captain." Ok, babe...

Her other favorite foods are cheese quesadillas, chicken, mac-and-cheese, and chicken. Her favorite fruits are oranges, apples, and bananas. She still asks for strawberries all the time, but when we recently reintroduced them, another mysterious rash appeared, so we shelved them again for awhile. She is doing better with vegetables, eating carrots, squash, salad, and broccoli. Usually they have to be drenched in ranch or cheese, but we're getting there.

She is a great big sister.
She is very into art and writing. She loves coloring and drawing and painting, and she's produced her first people. I love it when she draws me. :) She is practicing with her letters, and often asks me to "do dots" so she can connect the letters. She can freehand write all of the letters in her name (but she rarely puts them in order) plus a few others. Her favorite is the capital E, but she adds a few extra lines. :)

She loves to role play. At her birthday party, her bounce house quickly became Neverland. She also loves to be Mulan, Ariel, Belle, and the mommy. She is always a chef/waitress in the afternoon, but when she takes my order, whatever I want is whatever she doesn't have. I think she likes being somewhat of a contrarian--she gets that honest. :) When she is the mommy, she hands me toilet paper to help me wipe, tucks me in, kisses me on the forehead and says, "I love you sweetheart," tells me thank you for obeying, tells me that I am her precious girl, and puts me in time out. When I am assigned the role of Addison, I tell her that I want to obey her, that I am nice to my friends, that I am sweet and kind. Who knows the power of a subliminal message, right?
She is into princesses, Dora, and The Little Einsteins. She is usually in dress up clothes. Her current favorite books are Anita Bonita, Goldilocks and the 3 bears, A House is a House for Me, Pig's Lucky Day, and her Corduroy and Mickey Mouse Halloween books.

She loves to run and race. She's getting better at throwing and catching balls, and she is very into her basketball goal right now. She is not very interested in riding her tricycle. She had a scary fall and has since backed away from it.

She is very social and loves going to school and playing with her friends. All is not bliss though: She has been boycotting her naps, and no bargain seems to work, so grumpy afternoons have been the norm which translates into early bedtimes. She still naps for 2-3 hours on Wednesdays at Mom's and weekends at our house. Who knows the deal. She's also been aggravating a little girl at school, and we've had to talk to her about how God wants us to treat people.

She knows her own mind for sure. We went to a birthday party at Diva's and Dudes, and, admittedly, it was a little bit "Toddlers and Tiaras"-ish. When they asked her to do her hair, put make-up on, or interview her for her runway walk, she put her hand out and said, "Don't touch me. Don't touch me, please." I have to say that part of me was proud... Later that night, when I was tucking her in, she said, "Mom, did I have fun at the party?" I said, "I don't know. Did you?" She said, "I didn't like it when the girls walked around and wiggled their bottoms, and I didn't want them to touch me. I just wanted to dance." She just needed to process it outloud. That's my girl!
We adore our beautiful mess and just wish time could slow down.

Creating Art

2011-10-08T06:57:00.006-05:00

"The object isn't to make art, it's to be in that wonderful state which makes art inevitable." ~Robert Henri

Last Saturday night, we were sitting in our living room (that we've dubbed "the cove") watching the Alabama game--Patrick, whole-heartedly, me, distractedly (I was working on addressing Save-the-Dates for a friend's upcoming wedding).

Alabama did something good, and Patrick tried to get my attention to watch the replay. I ignored him. Sort of on principle, but I was also in the zone. He called me out on my non-reply, and I said this:

1. I don't even watch MY game's replays... and

2. I am creating art.

I held up these:

(This "art" may be a stretch for some, but it is my creative outlet for sure.)

He laughed and said, "Good point. You're right. I don't even have an argument."

It was a great Saturday night.

It hurts me worse than it hurts you; I promise, it's true!

2011-10-06T23:23:00.005-05:00

It's been one of those days.

On the parenting front, we've had to be heavy on the discipline this week with Addison. She has been boycotting her naps at school, which consequently makes her boycott obeying, listening, being nice, etc.

I feel like I have had to stay. on. her.

Tonight it was one thing after another. During bath time Ansley's antics had me smiling and cackling, and Addison quietly said, "Mom, will you smile at me?"

Such a simple, innocent request from my little girl who had been in and out of "trouble" for the last hour.

Overcome with my [and her] need for grace, I picked up my independent girl, who is testing every boundary she can find, right out of the bathtub with water dripping everywhere, hugged her and told her that I will always smile at her, always love her, and always think she is my most precious big girl--that I was her mommy and had to discipline her so that she would know right from wrong, but I would ALWAYS love her.

She hugged me back and said, "Thanks for forgiving me, Mom."

Just now, as I went to check on her, I prayed that the Lord would show me grace, that He would lead my discipline, that He would affirm Addison, that He would shape her heart, and that He would protect our relationship.

Never have I understood what our parents told us as much as I do now.

Don't Kill the Birthday Girl

2011-10-05T08:45:00.005-05:00

In July, when Ansley could ONLY tolerate sweet potatoes and allergen free breastmilk, I woke up in the middle of the night panicking, "What will she smash on her birthday???"

Irrational as it may seem now, it was our, then, very real reality.

As much as Ansley's body chemistry has changed and as many food as she is now able to tolerate (13!!), the severity of her body's exposure to any milk or egg protein is still a part of our every day. Each new food that is introduced to her is done so with cautious trepidation on my part. While we are so thankful for each new food that she enjoys and her body does not reject, it is too easy to push that scary night in Destin to a distant memory. Yet, it is never far from the surface as I am often the sippy cup and goldfish police at play dates.

Now that I am planning for her 1st Birthday party, I am incredibly aware of our limitations.

Like most of my mom friends that I talk to, tis the season for Birthday parties. We've had one and been to 4 in the last month. While Addison has been the intended guest at these parties (and we *think* has outgrown her only remaining food allergy to strawberries), I have taken inventory on all the things that Ansley could NOT partake in:

goldfish

pizza

chicken nuggets (buttermilk in the batter)

ice cream cake

birthday cake (made with eggs and butter cream icing)

While at home we try to focus on the things she CAN eat, I was painfully aware of all of the things that she CANNOT eat at these parties. It was overwhelming. It has definitely made me more intentional about making the things I serve at parties kid-friendly regardless of allergy issues. For the first time at Addison's party, I surveyed the moms for any food allergies, and I had some alternative options: sorbet and chex mix (there is even a gluten-free kind of this!) for starters. As Ansley grows up and attends her friends' parties, I will probably be less shy about initiating the conversation with other moms--offering to bring a dish or an alternative for Ans.

So began my quest for creating an allergy free party for Ansley to enjoy.

As food-centric as our culture--and my family--is, the quest can be quite challenging.

Even though Ansley is only turning 1 and will likely still be eating her own prepared-by-mommy-food, I feel guilty offering guests food that she wouldn't be able to eat.

In addition to planning my lunch menu, I am also still searching for a dairy-free and egg-free cake recipe. I made my trusty pumpkin spice muffins (an old weight watchers recipe that I've posted before: 1 box of spice cake mix [I found a milk/egg free on with Duncan Hines Classic], 1 can of pumpkin, and 1/2 cup of water. I also want to try it with yellow cake mix as I have recently seen pinned on pinterest.

I also plan to attend my Allergy Moms meeting at Whole Foods this month to get more tips, and if any of you who check in here have any ideas to suggest, please let me know!

Thank to everyone who has prayed and checked in on how Ansley is doing. I'll be back soon with an 11-month post and Addison's 3rd Birthday party wrap-up.

P.S. Did you know that glue has milk in it?

Addison the Explorer Preview

2011-09-30T23:30:00.004-05:00

I know most of you have forgotten about us over here, but we are still hanging in there.

September starts our full court press of partying. It is a busy time, but the BEST kind of busy.

We now have a 3-year-old in the house, and I totally agree with what my mom told me about the 3-year-old phase: it's about as sweet as it gets. I have to gather all of my pictures together and load them on my computer eventually, but here is a sneak preview of the fun that my Addy-belle had at her 3rd birthday party.

We call this "contained chaos." It was awesome. It allowed the adults to enjoy themselves too.

The kids made silly hats and sang Happy Birthday.

They danced to "Moves Like Jaggar."
When all of the friends left, Mommy and the aunts came in and jumped and raced.
After pizza and exhaustion, she opened some family presents.
I'll be back with details soon.
In the meantime I'm just busy planning away for the Ansley's Ladybug Picnic. Joint parties might be in our future. :)

Patty cakin' and Peek-a-booin'

2011-09-05T15:17:00.010-05:00

Our Ansley-bug is 10 months old. We cannot believe it.She's still cruising right along, getting a little braver trying to stand on her own. Her favorite loves are playing patty-cake and peek-a-boo and making scrunched up faced poot noises. See pic below.
She loves reading Elmo's "So Big" book, Brown Bear, The Hungry Caterpillar, and Where's Spot?
She still loves bath time, but she wasn't so sure about this picture.
She and her sister are still confused fans as they always will be! They make the most of playing with anything--even empty cereal boxes. She is eating so many more foods now! In addition to nursing 4x a day and eating her previously mentioned foods, this month we have added pork, chicken, oatmeal, and puffs to her palate. Girlfriend is LOVING some puffs. Her forever favorites will always be sweet potatoes and bananas--she OWNS her bananas. I am so thankful for this progress because in July, I honestly wondered if she would ever tolerate anything except sweet potatoes.
She tries to say so many things: ma-ma, da-da, Addy, bye-bye, bottle (bah-bah), patty for patty cake, ah-ooo for ah-oh, bawa for ball, bebo for Elmo. She signs for "more" and "down."
She loves music and loves to dance. She loves examining and discovering new things. She loves to swing at the playground with her sister. She loves growling and laughing at her sister.
We love the way she rounds out our family of 4.

What we'll do for those pearly whites...

2011-08-25T23:50:00.004-05:00

Today, my warm-up activity for my sophomores was to write about their first memory. We are reading short stories about different societies and their norms, and this opener was supposed to lead into discussing how we decide what "normal" is. So many of my students' first memories were of something tragic--like being wounded--or something magical--like Barney coming to their third Birthday party. After yesterday's debacle, I am afraid that when asked this question as a sophomore, Addison would describe her first trip to the dentist.

Don't let this pretty smile fool you...
[Photo credit: Aaron Yung Photography]

It. was. awful.

Worse than tubes.

We had been talking to her for awhile to her about going to the dentist and about getting her teeth cleaned and how Mommy and Daddy and Savannah go to the dentist and how big girls get to go to the dentist. Addison is someone who needs to process things. She likes to ask questions and feel comfortable with something before it is thrust upon her.

The night before we went, as I was tucking her in, she said to me, "Mom, are you going to leave me at the dentist? Will you hold my hand the whole time? Mom, I am going to try not to cry, but if they turn the lights off, I probably will. But I am going to try real hard." I reassured her, and said goodnight.

When we walked into the office, she was ready to go. As she saw other children go back, she looked at me and told me she was going to go all by herself. She even tried to go back before she was called.

As soon as she heard her name called, however, she clung to me for dear life, and I went back with her.

It started off well enough. Though her fingernails were digging into my arms, she was fairly compliant with the hygienist until she wanted to get her back teeth. Patrick and I have noticed and been a little concerned about some dark spots on her teeth, and though she is just shy of three, we wanted to make sure she didn't have a mouth full of cavities.

Once she was done, she was done, and there was no rationalizing or negotiating with her. She locked her jaw and clenched her teeth, but still managed to scream at the top of her lungs. In the end, her physical strength, strength of will, and fiestiness resulted in all hands on deck. It took three people holding her down to get a good look in her mouth.

Luckily, she has no cavities. It is a different bacteria that just sticks to her teeth. The dentist says that during her next growth spurt as her body composition changes, the stains will probably go away. Never heard of that.

When we left, I hugged her and told her that next time wouldn't be so scary. She asked me if it was okay to be afraid. Bless her. I hugged her again and said yes.

She was quiet the whole way home, but as soon as she walked in the door, she ran to her daddy, gave him a big toothy grin, and exclaimed, "Look at my princess teeth!"

After all that, I told him he could take her next time.

We gave our sweet girl some extra love and reassurance last night.

The rest of summer

2011-08-24T20:49:00.009-05:00

When we got back from our vacation, the rest of summer just FLEW by. On the Monday we got back, Patrick started his new job. He is back into building and is so happy. This is an opportunity we have been praying for for so long, and God is blessing our family through it already. Isn't this house he just finished so beautiful? It is in Nashville's Sylvan Park Historic District. Preview more at www.aspen-construction.net

We got to visit with the rest of our cousins, some of our most special friends, and had some swim parties.

We went to visit Amy, Eli, and Caroline, and meet new baby Camp, but sweet boy was sleeping during out failed photo session. These kiddos sure have fun!
We took another trip to the zoo and found the flamingos again!

We have gotten more settled in at Otter Creek since we began visiting there since April, and Addison is loving her Bible class.

Then, before we knew it, we were starting back to school. This year, Ansley got a new lunch box since she can now eat some foods! Yay, Ansley!
We were sad to see summer go, but FALL is our favorite! Come on, cooler weather, football, birthdays, and anniversaries!

The Craft for Coffee Lovers

2011-08-16T20:12:00.004-05:00

I love to sew, but this summer it was more of a favorite past time, unfortunately. I have had material and patterns to make the girls matching dresses since last summer, and they are still in my craft closet. Oh well.

With all the new babies in our friends and families' lives, I have enjoyed making burp cloths and bibs, but that was about it... Until I finally tried my hand at this:
I have 3 coffee-loving friends who had spring/summer birthdays, and so I made these coffee cozys as part of their gifts. Cute, aren't they!?! I used this tutorial, and it is very basic. It was my first time sewing on batting which is a little tricky, and the rubber band part was a little tricky too, but the pattern was very straightforward. I loved the way they turned out, and I think my friends did too!

Favorite Summer Meal

2011-08-15T16:13:00.006-05:00

We have a new favorite meal at the Crawford house, and I owe my friend Reid for this one:

Lime Butter Tilapia
Sweet Potato Fries
Zucchini Sticks

Salivate on this:
The first step in creating this deliciousness was making the lime butter. To do that, combine

4 T butter (I use this:)
1 shallot, chopped
2 T cilantro, chopped
zest of 1 lime
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper

It'll look something like this:

Then you use 1 T of the mix per tilapia filet.
Cook in skillet for 4-5 minutes on each side.
Then put another little dollop (1t) on your cooked fish. All of this=heavenly!

I paired it with homemade sweet potato fries. I just peeled the potato, cut into fry-sized pieces, and salted, peppered, and doused with olive oil. I baked them at 450 for 25 minutes and flipped them about halfway into it.
Then I made zucchini sticks by slicing each zucchini into 8 pieces. I doused them with olive oil, shook panko crumbs over them, and salted and peppered them. I cooked them with the potatoes at the same temp for the same length of time.
Patrick liked it so much he asked if we could have it again the next night. So we did. Hope you try it and like it as much as we did!

I love it when we're CRUISING together!

2011-08-13T17:06:00.007-05:00

Can't believe my sweet baby is getting so big. She is crawling, pulling up, and CRUISING!

(I am so behind on posts because after we got the MAC update, our camera software hasn't synced to upload pictures. These poor quality pics are from my phone, but I needed to document something for my little girl.)
Ansley's favorite toys are her pull up alphabet soup table, any ball she can sneak away from her sister, and she has recently discovered her Little People and the play kitchen.

Her babbles have picked up a bit. She is saying bye-bye, ball, and something that is working towards "bottle." She nods and says, "oh," and she still "ma-ma's" and "da-da's" indiscriminately.
She is becoming more interested in her stories, and her favorites this month have been Brown Bear, Elmo's So Big book, and Peek-a-boo Elmo.
I love this picture of Ansley. It was on our first day of school, and she's wearing her Jackson Hole shirt that says "Making Friends." Patrick said that was the perfect shirt for my daughter. I want to get her started off right, you know?!? I also love it because of her "poot" face and her new lunch box. The perfect back-to-school gift, but especially significant for sweet Ans because it indicates that she can EAT!

This month we have added many foods to Ansley's "CAN eat list." She gets nourishment and nutrition from the following:

sweet potatoes
bananas
apples
peas
green beans
squash (The first kind that I made her was summer squash and the texture was pretty coarse--she gagged and vomited each bite. This time I tried butternut squash, and she loves it. I love the fact that just one of these gourds made 16 servings for her.)
me on my dairy free diet (4 times a day)

Just before she turned 9 months old, and after she had hive reactions to carrots and pears, we were referred to an allergist. Her doctor tested her for 47 things. No exaggeration. Her poor back was covered in markings and pricks, and she showed reactions to both milk proteins (casein and whey) and eggs (both the yolk and the whites). Surprisingly, she did not react to soy, rice, or wheat, and her doctor said that she definitely could have outgrown them by then... I have not had the courage to retry any of the things that she reacted to initially; instead, I have just wanted to add to the list of can's. Interestingly, Patrick was allergic to both milk and eggs until he was around 4 years old. Anyway, we try meats this week, so please keep thinking of her.

We did have a super-scary allergy-related moment this month. Addison's sippy cup spilled 2 drops of milk on Ansley's ear. By the time I had stripped her down to dunk her in the bathtub, she had hives all over her shoulders and down her back. It was 5:01, so my phone call to the pediatrician was forwarded to the Vanderbilt triage nurse. Thankfully she walked me through how to treat Ansley. Thankfully the benadryl worked, and I did not have to administer the epi-pen... Scary what 2 drops on her skin can do, and I am afraid of what 2 drops ingested would do. We are truly considering (at our allergist's suggestion) transitioning Addison to soy milk and removing goldfish snacks from our pantry. With Ansley's mobility and curiosity and the innocent swapping of sippy cups, we do not want to take any chances.

Ansley is a funny baby, and she really likes to make people laugh. She also is testing us--she loves to laugh at us when we tell her "no."

She got a good report at the doctor--she weighs just under 17 pounds which puts her in the 20th% for weight, measures 28 inches long falling around the 50th%, and has a large...brain :)... in the 90th%.

We couldn't love this little girl more.

Right on Time...

2011-08-04T15:21:00.006-05:00

[via Tumblr.]

When I read these words, I can't help but just take a deep breath and say to myself, "Ok, Kristy. Stop over thinking. God's got this."

I am a perfectionist, and it makes me be not-so-gentle with myself. Sometimes instead of living in the now, I worry about if what I'm doing in the now isn't what I'm supposed to be doing in the now... Am I wasting precious time that I won't get back chasing the wind? Am I giving everything that I have of myself to people and things that need my time right now?

It is a never-ending vicious cycle if I let paralyze me.

Thankfully, the Lord is gentle with me.

He knows that while we all have just one shot at this life on earth, that every path for our greater good is just leading us to a closer walk with him.

And, and this is the tough one for me, HIS timing is perfect. Perfect. Without flaw. Unblemished. Unquestionable.

Even when I feel like my prayers are going unanswered, even when I feel like doors keep closing, even when I fear that I am missing something meant for me to see, God's ways and thoughts are so much higher than mine, and I rest there. Confused, I rest.

But I keep asking and seeking and knocking, and the right door will open at the right time in the right place that God has prepared.

RIGHT. ON. TIME.

In the meantime, I take joy in the journey and thank the Lord for His new mercies, His blessings, and the peace in being His.

Acts 17:26-27

New International Version (NIV)

²⁶ From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. ²⁷ God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us.

Her anatomical antics

2011-07-19T21:36:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, when Addison woke up from her nap, she seemed sheepish.

Under bashful eyes, she said, " Mom, I need to tell you the truth..." Uh-oh.

I knew something was up. Addison has been telling a few lies lately to get out of trouble, and we have been trying to tell her that if she tells the truth, her consequences will be less severe. I knew she had calculated this risk because she immediately followed with, "Will I get in trouble?"

I can't remember how exactly I responded, but she eventually told me that she got out of her bed during her nap. I asked her why, and she said, " to get the purple marker..." Then she said, "you know how we are only supposed to write on paper?... Well, I forgot that rule, and I wrote on Dora."

I said, "why?"

She lifted Dora's shirt and replied, "because she needed a belly button and 2 boobs."

And there were 3 purple anatomically and proportionately correct circles on Dora's chest.

Ii thought, "What in the world? This is so hilarious...and yet so wrong. How do I discipline this child?"

I flashed back to when I was her age and drew eyelashes on my collector Raggedy Ann doll and when I got caught, I tried to blame it on my 6 month old baby sister. And I thought, she does have a point. At least she told the truth.

Rainbow Party

2011-07-17T23:29:00.010-05:00

It seems like "rainbow cakes" are all the rage right now all over the blogosphere, and my creative sister decided to put several ideas together and planned a whole rainbow-themed party. Of course it was a hit! Since she doesn't have a blog, I decided to document the event and brag on her here!

Some inspiration for parties like these are here, here, here, and here!

She decided to have 6 little girls get together. She invited Addison and let Addison invite her little best buddy Olivia and then had several more of Savannah's buddies come.

After 1 year of teaching preschool, Lindsay knew just what to do to engage these 2-4 year olds. They began by stirring their individual cake batter with their own color:
Then while the cake baked...they were given "rainbow manicures" by the mommies. This was Lindsay's original contribution to the party, and probably the biggest hit! (All 5 fabulous colors of polish came from the Dollar Tree.)
They even got to take turns under the dryer.Once the cake was baked, they iced their individual layers, ate lunch, and chowed down.

After it was all over, this was the best pose we could get of them in their aprons (also from the Dollar Tree) and their nails.Everyone had a ball--even the babies:I seriously could eat them up!

Thanks, Linds, for cooking this up and letting us be a part of the fun!

Refreshment

2011-07-17T21:49:00.007-05:00

I love the part of Proverbs 11:25 that says, "He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed."

God has heard my plea for refreshment, and He does not disappoint. Patrick and I have been able to spend time with some of our oldest and dearest friends this month, and we have been blessed by them--as usual.

I was able to get with many of my best girlfriends from high school (This picture circa 1997 on our "senior Spring Break trip"):And our children. We are growing in number, but we missed those who couldn't make it.I am always thankful for these women, but I have been especially thankful for Kelly and Kristen during this season of allergy issues with Ansley. My two beautiful friends are also smart dieticians, and they have encouraged me and helped me with tangible plans, sent me articles to read, and just educated me on dealing with food allergies. What a blessing they have been.

Then, while at the beach, I got a phone call from this beautiful woman hoping to get together...
She and her precious family came down one afternoon, and we enjoyed an evening at Pompano Joe's and the beach. Amy and I lived together during graduate school. She taught me all I needed to know about "COMPS" and cleaning and I just love her. So does Patrick, and we love her Brady and their Rylee and Kade. No matter how much time lapses between talks or visits, we manage to pick right up where we left off. She is a speech pathologist and earlier, when Addison had just turned 2 and had her world turned upside down with a baby sister, Amy talked me through her stuttering and fluency issues. I have the smartest friends! Our kids acted like they'd always been friends:On our way home, we stopped for several hours in Montgomery (We drove by our old house, one of our rituals each time we drive through). We left Destin at 5 a.m. and showed up at Kevin and Britani's house at 7:45 on a Saturday morning. That in itself speaks volumes of a special friendship, and they are some of our dearest "couple friends." Brit and I joke about Patrick and Kevin being like David and Jonathan in the Bible. They just really love each other, and their friendship is special for us to observe. They help each other be better people, thinkers, husbands, and fathers. We have been blessed having both of our kids within weeks of each other, and they are already good buddies:
We went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast, and as we were walking through the parking lot, we said, "You need to hold somebody's hand." Addison and Oliver held each others.
Ansley and Poppy are just 4 weeks apart. They were so cute together.

We sure have been thankful for this good time with special friends, and I can't wait to keep it going when I go to Huntsville and see my other Amy and Baby Camp in a couple of weeks.

Our First Vacation as a "Family of Four"

2011-07-16T14:57:00.008-05:00

This free picture slideshow customized with Smilebox

Here is a slideshow of pictures from our trip last week to Destin. We really did have a wonderful time, and the girls were great travelers. It was our second year to go for the 4th of July, and we really enjoy this time of year--hot as it is.

A Top 10 of some of our highlights:

1. Fireworks and concert in Seaside, FL for the 4th--We always love visiting our honeymoon cottage ("The Honeybee") and strolling the shops and restaurants. My favorite bookstore, Sundog, never disappoints, and Bud and Alley's Taco Bar has become a family favorite. We got there early, reserved our spot at the ampitheatre with a blanket, and then enjoyed the town until the concert and fireworks began.

2. Destin Commons Playground--Addison begs to go there as soon

as we cross the Mid Bay Bridge. She always makes some friends and burns some energy.

3. 6:30 wake-up calls. Too bad she doesn't burn enough energy to sleep in... Addison came in our room the first morning (and every successive morning) at 6:30 with bathing suit in hand and a daily agenda. We talked her into laying down with us and watching cartoons until her baby sister woke up at 7:30.

4. Putt Putt Golf--This was Addison's first time to play, and while she was interested in learning how to swing the club, after the first shot, she would pick up her ball, put it in the hole, and clap for herself, saying, "Yay Addison!"

5. Evening beach trips--While we loved the beach at any time of the day, I have to say these times were our favorites. We didn't have to worry about sunscreen, and Addison was braver, and Ansley loved digging in the sand and smearing it on Mommy. Our best sand turtles were formed as the sun was setting.

6. The boat. Lindsay and Daniel let us borrow their boat, and we blew it up filled it with water, and put it under our umbrella in the shade. Ansley loved it, and it bought us at least an extra hour at the beach each day.

7. The pool--this was Addison's favorite, and each day she got braver and more comfortable in the water. Our pre-vacation swimming lessons fell through, so I was nervous about how she would do, but she was kicking, blowing bubbles, jumping to my arms, and going under by herself by the end of the trip.

8. Eating seafood--my diet restrictions didn't hold us back too much. I was able to eat grouper, mahi mahi, and amberjack at our favorite beach restaurants, and we cooked in several nights as well.

9. Reading--While at home, I rarely have time to dive into a good book. On this trip I read these three:

I finished rereading Mission of Motherhood and was just inspired in the way I spend time with my daughters, in the way I discipline, and in the way I hope to capture their hearts for the Lord.

My "beach read" was a little good chick lit by Emily Giffin. This one was a little heavier than usual, and in a strange way inspired me to invest even more intentionally in my marriage in the little things.

Patrick read Plan B last summer and has encouraged me to ever since then... You know how sometimes you read something at just the right time, and it just is one of those poignant moments when you know spiritual forces were at work, pricking your heart in the perfect way at the perfect time. Well, in tears on the beach during the girls' afternoon naps, I sat by myself and read Pete Wilson's relevant words which have touched my heart deeply. Everyone's Plan B is his/her own reality, and there's really not a better or worse scenario, I've come to learn. Your reality is your reality, and God equips us individually for our unique circumstances. Praise Him for using this life to draw us closer to Him... I have a lot to say about this, so I will just save it for a future post... But all three are worth reading!

10. Pandora--we enjoyed sitting on the front porch with our ipad using this ap, eating popsicles, sometimes reading, sometimes dancing, sometimes just sitting, listening to our favorite beach stations--for us, Michael Buble and Bob Marley.

It truly was a wonderful getaway, a time of reflection, celebration, the unknown, and changes for our family. (Patrick started a new job the Monday after our return, something we had prayed about since being down here last summer. He is back into building, and he is so happy.)

It was also a time of refreshment. We got to see some of our oldest and dearest friends, and I will include that in a separate post as well... Until then, enjoy the slideshow (for those of you who haven't seen these on Facebook already. :))

8 months...and away she goes!

2011-07-13T15:33:00.006-05:00

My favorite 8-month-old is moving and grooving!And hamming it up with this signature goofy scrunched up grin...
At 8 months, Ansley is crawling and pulling up everywhere! She started rocking back and forth on all fours and doing the one, two, flat a couple of weeks before, and then she just took off!

Ansley's favorite new books at 8 months are Goodnight Gorilla, One Rainy Day, and anything she can swipe from her sister. Now that she is crawling, her favorite toy is the ottomon. She crawls to it, pulls herself up, and starts giggling and bouncing. She also crawls to her sister's Dora dominoes and her curly locks. I'm starting to have to break up some sister brawls. :)

Ansley babbles constantly, picking up new vowel/consonant combos daily. Her current fav is something that sounds like "I did." Addison believes she is saying, "Addy" when she does it.

We are still working through allergy issues in the nutrition department, and she currently feasts on 4 nursing sessions during the day and 2 servings of sweet potatoes. We have scratched squash, carrots, and pears off the list and are going to a pediatric allergist next week to try to come up with a plan to get this little girl what she needs nutrition-wise. Sweet Whitney encouraged me to try to focus on the things that Ansley CAN eat, so we are just praying to add to that list of one in the coming weeks. Thankfully, she still doesn't know any different, and we thank the Lord for her sweet sweet spirit.

Ansley still naps 2 times a day and sleeps 11-12 hours at night. Right now she is going through a napping slump though as her top 2 teeth are giving her some fits... Bless her. She is actually having a tough time sleeping right now, so I will sign out to go rock her. Hopefully, I will be back soon with an update from our beach vacation!

I'll sign off with a pic of me and my baby doll.

Things I am Learning... and How I am Thriving...

2011-06-22T15:28:00.007-05:00

in this dairy-free, soy-free, gluten-free world!

I was going to title this ways I am "surviving," but that sounds so negative. "Thriving" is definitely a stretch, but I am choosing to put a positive Pollyanna spin on this.

As we continue to battle these food allergies with Ansley and I continue to nurse, I am finding more people come out of isolation and am thankfully building a community of allergic moms. Emails and help and tips have been so appreciated, so I thought I would document some of my staple items here.

1. (1.A.) Silk or So Delicious Vanilla Coconut Milk. It is really good. Sweet and fresh and while it doesn't have the protein of cow's milk, it does have 2x the calcium. (Sidenote: Humans are the only species that drink milk after being weaned from our mothers. Makes you think and wonder a little bit, doesn't it?)

1.B. So Delicious even has a coconut milk coffee creamer... 1.C. AND Ice Cream. The Mint Chocolate kind is my favorite! Thank you!

2. Kabobs. I have never been a meat and potatoes girl. I've been a "fill-up-on-bread" and "bring-on-the-pasta" kind of eater, and "the more cheese, the better." Well, my current favorite summer meal consists of meat and vegetables, a lite marinade, and a hot grill. With a side of sweet potato fries, I am filled to the brim.

3. Puffins Cereal. I have had the peanut butter and cinnamon flavor, and both are yummy. Add some fresh berries and coconut milk, and I am full until lunch! I am especially thankful for this find because I have learned that breakfast is when I have the most limited options.

4. Bob's Red Mill. I have always loved their rolled oats, but I am now especially loving their gluten free bread mixes. After my one baking experience into the gluten free world, I will just leave it to the mixes that Good ole' Bob provides. So far, I have had the biscuits, cinnamon raisin, and potato bread kinds. All have been yummy!

5. Earth Balance spread. The dairy and soy free kind. This wasn't around when I was nursing Addison, but I could just use their dairy free kind at the time. So glad they have come up with this so I can still enjoy my potatoes and gluten-free bread the way I like it! :)

6. Namaste Pancake/Waffle Mix. A little chewy, but at least another bready breakfast option.

7. Food that has previously been on the "No thanks... Really, no thanks..." list like green beans. :)
I know, Linds and Mom, it's about time. We went to a wedding, and seriously, all I could eat of the delicious spread was the meat and the green beans. So I "enjoyed" 2 servings. Yes, I did... :)

In the future, I'll post some tips on eating out...

***Until then, here is an update on the Ansley Food Chronicles***

After 8 days of sweet potatoes, Ansley loves them and they equally love her! YAY! We have been overjoyed. However, with her severe food allergies, she also has a severe gag reflex (like she will vomit a bottle if it is not warm enough. She might be a little diva. Good thing she is cute too! :)) and vomited her first few bites of squash... Guess we will try carrots or peas next. Thanks for praying and emailing and checking in with us. If you have any tips on how to make squash better or how to make carrots and peas, I would totally appreciate them...and your continued prayers! Thanks, friends.

Coloring Prayers Part 2 and the Everyday Summer

2011-06-20T21:37:00.007-05:00

Last summer I wrote an entry called "Coloring Prayers." That has continued into this summer in the sweetest way. Yesterday, we went to Books-a-Million, and I needed to get a new journal. Addison was so interested, and she begged us to get her a prayer journal too. Well, there was a $1 2011 calendar journal thing, and we got it for her. The first thing that she asked for this morning was her prayer journal, and she wanted us to get our special pens and pray. I was melting at her sweetness. Of course she just scribbled in hers, but I wrote down what she told me she was praying for.

She was so proud and she carried it with her all day--even later when she was coloring her new memory verse.

Meanwhile, her little sister was just a watching and laughing.

This weekend we celebrated my girls' daddy.

He took the girls for a night swim. My big girl stayed close to the wall.

My little girl is going to be a water baby.

We celebrated with Daddy at lunch and then at a concert in the park. Everybody had a ball!

We are loving our everyday summer!

7-month-old Ansley

2011-06-17T13:41:00.005-05:00

Photo Credit: Aaron Yung Photography again! (Don't worry, family, we'll send you the link to order them as soon as they are up!) These are technically Ansley's 6 month photos, but they were taken just hours before she turned 7 months, so I am using them here. :) I love those blue-green eyes.

At 7 months old, Ansley is into everything. She is up on all fours rocking, belly crawling a foot or two, and scooting to get where she wants. She lunges for everything, and I am having to rethink baby-proofing this go-around with all of Addison's small toys. Just this week at 7 and a half months, she has gotten into a sitting position from her stomach and has been pulling up to standing. It's funny, though, she HATES rolling from her back to her tummy. She can do it; she'd just rather not, so we are just getting around to lowering her crib just in case she figures out how to put all of these skills together.

Now that she has two bottom teeth, she is experimenting more with her sounds--"da-da" "ma-ma" and "bye-bye" being her most common repetitions. She mostly likes to make "poot" noises with her mouth. She cracks herself up, and if we are in the car, she and Addison go back and forth cracking each other up! At 7.5 months, she started waving bye-bye--sometimes on command, sometimes just to practice circling her wrist.

She is still mostly nourished by breast milk 5 times a day, but we are on day 4 of sweet potatoes. I don't even want to let myself get excited about them, but she is enjoying them so far.

Her favorite songs are "Twinkle Twinkle" and "Itsy Bitsy Spider." Her favorite books are "Are you ticklish?" and "Twinkle Toes." She is now taking baths with Addison, and Patrick and I are having fun tag-teaming them. She LOVES the water, and on her first trip to the pool, she was trying to come out of her float to face plant and blow bubbles.

She sleeps for 10-11 hours at night and takes 2 2-hour naps. Sometimes she will take a 3rd catnap, and some days, if we are really on the go, she'll take one LONG nap and then a short cat nap. She is a happy sweetheart, and we thank God for each day with her!

Her 2-year-old summer

2011-06-16T13:49:00.005-05:00

Picture Credit: Aaron Yung Photography. He snapped this of Addison during Ansley's 6 month photo shoot. It's one of my favorite pics of her EVER. Nashville peeps, you need to check him out!

I was looking back through my blog from last summer, and, boy, was I ambitious! Knowing I was pregnant and it would be the last summer of just Addison and me, I was so intentional about making each day count. Maybe I was even more intentional about documenting each moment, but, nonetheless, reading back through those posts made me TIRED. :)

This summer has been wonderful as well, but with a little sister who still nurses every 3 hours, we've stayed a little bit closer to home... I'm ever thankful for our back yard water fun because even taking them to the neighborhood pool is a task I am not up for most days...

That said, here have been some highlights of Addison's 2-year-old summer so far:

1. going to the zoo and standing like flamingos. There is a new flamingo exhibit at the zoo since last summer, and they are Addison's favorite animal now--all because they are pink. This is a camera picture because, of course, my camera battery went caput as we walked through the entrance. I didn't even get a picture of Ansley on her first trip to the zoo... Lindsay's camera lasted about 5 minutes longer than mine, so I look forward to getting some of her pictures.

2. going to VBS. We went to Brentwood Hills' VBS this week, and Addison got to join Savannah's class. She has been wearing her beaded cross necklace that she made there all the time because she says it matches the one that she gave me for Mother's Day... Sweet girl.

3. going to World Music Day at the local library and story time at the downtown library

4. learning memory verses
I googled "first memory verses" and we are picking one to learn each week. This is hers for this week. She learns everything by repetition. When she wants to learn a new song, she asks me to sing it over and over until she knows it, so I thought she was ready for this. Plus, I am rereading Sally Clarkson's Mission of Motherhood, and she inspired and challenged me to help Addison begin to learn scripture. Addison loved looking through magazines and finding the pictures to match the words, and when she gets stuck, she just looks at the pictures to remember. I have the sweetest video of her reciting her verse so proudly, but I'll have to figure out how to get it on here...

5. fingerpainting--most recently artwork for her daddy and granddads for the upcoming holiday

6. baking--in her kitchen and mine. She loves bringing me treats and helping me make dinners

7. pretend play: Dora adventures, Animal hospitals, Grocery trips, Rec Room campouts, making up fairy tales, playing wedding and prince and princesses, etc.

8. making her sister laugh--again, I have no pictures, but sweet videos of this, so I need to figure out how to post

9. eating banana popsicles--from Publix, so delish, and I can even enjoy these!

10. going to the playground and creek

11. being a spunky and carefree 2-year-old

I love these sweet moments, and even the not-so sweet ones, with my big girl. Here are some recent Addy-isms:

I was brushing her teeth, and she boldy said to me, "Get out of my face." Shocked and a little ticked, I responded with, "We don't speak like that to Mommy, and we don't say that to anyone. You know better than that!" Demure smile on her face, she replied, "You're right, mommy, I'm so sorry. Would you get out of my face, please?" Grr...

I bumped in to her and said, "Sorry, babe." She replied, "Oh sweetheart, you don't have to apologize, it was just an accident," and patted my arm."

Holding Zone... While we were waiting on the rash to go away...

2011-06-13T10:13:00.007-05:00

Well, the Ansley Food Chronicles have stalled. She has had a rash that has come and gone for a week. I have cut wheat now also to see if that helps, and those yummy sweet potatoes are still frozen. Keep your fingers crossed for us, please. And prayers too...

In the meantime, here is a camera phone picture dump of what we have been up to:

We have celebrated 2 weddings: one a dear family friend.
The other, a cousin. Mom hosted two back to back bridesmaid's brunches. Lindsay and I co-hosted the one for our cousin. I was in charge of the invitations, and I LOVED these that I ordered from an Etsy shop. (This was a draft that we ended up editing when we changed it to a brunch. I blurred the address info. I matched the bridesmaids dress colors. Cute, huh?!?)

We used the May Southern Living issue as our menu inspiration. We served breakfast casserole, ham and biscuits, cheese grits, cinnamon rolls, lemon cheesecake, muffins, fruit, and a "mocktail" of gingerale, pineapple juice, and orange juice. It was yummy-looking, and I enjoyed my "special food."
The bride is on the right, her youngest sis on the left, her other bridesmaids surrounding her.Linds, Grandmama, Aunt J, and Mom

Front Door Decorations
I have been trying new recipes for my dietary restrictions. As I mentioned, I am cutting back on wheat to see if it makes a difference, so I am now, on a trial basis, gluten free in addition to being dairy and soy free... Yikes! I made cinnamon raisin bread and cobb salad.

I got this recipe via April (she made it for a dinner party last spring) via Martha and left off the cheese on my part. I also used chicken instead of turkey and added honey to the dressing like April suggested. Both were surprisingly delicious.

While little sister has been napping, I've been having lots of fun with her big sis.

Hopefully I'll be back soon with a positive sweet potato report! Until then...

The Ansley Food Chronicles

2011-06-03T15:43:00.005-05:00

This isn't Part 1...or even the first part of Part 2. You can read those here and here.

Part 2.5: The one where she was allergic to rice cereal...

So, according to the hives on Ansley's face, back, tummy, and sides, rice cereal is out... Doctors recommend starting with rice cereal because it is the LEAST allergic food out there. My poor sweet baby... With her "questionable poops," I had been hoping against hope, but the verdict knocked the breath out of me.

As I waited on a call back from the doctor to answer the questions: Is it time to stop nursing? Will I cut rice from my diet now? When do we get referred to a pediatric allergist? Can she/will she grow out of this? How long do I hold off introducing other solids?, other thoughts flooded my mind...

Am I going to be nursing this baby until she is 5? Please, God, no! Will some allergist have to engineer a special formula compatible with her body chemistry that will cause Patrick and me to take out another mortgage? What will I make her for her first birthday to smash since she is allergic to EVERYTHING??? How will I explain to her that she can't eat like other children? How will I cook for our family so that Ansley doesn't feel like an outsider? My hopefulness was changed to hopelessness with these thoughts.

While some (hopefully not ALL) of these hypothetical situations might come into fruition, these thoughts were damaging to my spirits. They were damaging to the peace I was praying for me and the healthy outcome I am praying over Ansley. In all of this, all I want for her is to be healthy and to enjoy her precious childhood. Her well-being is my highest priority.

In a good moment, I stopped and spent some time with the Lord where I read these words of comfort:

"As for God, his way is perfect. All the Lord's promises prove true. He is a shield for those who look to him for perfection." ~Psalm 18:30

"I am holding you by your right hand--I the Lord your God. And I say to you, 'Do not be afraid.' I am here to help you."
~Isaiah 41:13

I believe these words. I know that God's way is perfect, and I know that we are meant to walk this path with our Ansley. I also know that I don't need to worry about her first birthday, her first day of school, her first time that she has to use her epi-pen. God has promised us our daily bread, and so we take this journey daily. He has also promised that He is with us. And I thank Him that He is because it is an otherwise isolating journey.

Please pray for my sweet girl's immune system to be reset and for her to grow out of these awful allergies. Would you also pray that the next food we try agrees with her growing body? Thankfully, God has blessed us with a sweetheart. A dear friend told me that she believes Ansley was blessed with such a sweet spirit to encourage us as we battle these nutrition/allergy issues.
My sweet girl on the day she turned 7-months-old wearing a dress that my mom made me when I was a little girl.

So, onto the first part of Part 3: The one where I made her some baby food...

Our pediatrician called back yesterday afternoon and told me that I do not need to stop nursing now unless I am just ready to stop. He said that we just move on to fruits and vegetables. That going to an allergist at this point would probably not give us the most accurate results (recommended age is 1), but that if she showed up allergic to the next two vegetables that we would for sure be referred. He gave me hope that she still can outgrow these, and he said not to worry with grains. I was worried about iron, but he said that while the iron in my breastmilk is less, it is more soluble than what is in formula... Then my mom told me that Lindsay and I couldn't take iron in our formulas when we were babies, so that was a moot point...

I have approached today with hope, trying to lean on those promises I read yesterday and trying to feel God holding my right hand.

I decided it was time to whip up a batch of baby food.

My good friend Karen let me borrow these two items.

Then I got these 2 items.

Today I made one sweet potato that will yield 9 servings. My perfectionist self was wanting to procrastinate this task from fear of the unknown, but it was soooooo easy. I baked the potato for 4o minutes on 400 degrees. I removed the skin, cut it into small pieces, and pureed it with a little bit of breastmilk and a little bit of water. Then I filled my ice cube trays, covered them with plastic wrap, and put them in the freezer. Ta-da.

I also prayed over them as I made them. And I am NOT kidding...

Keep your fingers crossed, and wish her (and me) luck. Thanks for praying.

Party, Americana-style

2011-05-31T14:55:00.014-05:00

Nothing better to kick off summer than a good dose of Americana. Patrick and I decided to celebrate the freedoms that our fearless soldiers protect by having a water party. We love to entertain, but we NEVER do anymore. When we were newlyweds in Montgomery, we loved having dinner parties, pool parties, parties galore. We still get together with friends and family (our social life has not completely gone to pot... ;)), but with young children, our party planning endeavors have come few and far between aside from kid birthday parties and baby/wedding showers. What's worse, we couldn't remember the last time we'd had my family over. Truly sad. So we fixed it with a fun, memorable, cicada-serenaded, HOT afternoon and night.

First, we got out some red, white, and blue:
Next, we fired up our grill and marinated some kabobs:
(peppers, onion, squash, zucchini, grape tomatoes, chicken, and steak in a marinade of lime juice, olive oil, *soy-free, dairy free* butter, Montreal chicken seasoning, and Jane's Krazy Salt)

Finally, we got out our old and new water toys, turned on the hose, and let the good times roll:

And can't you tell by the look on her face that her good time was rolling!?! Love it!We actually managed to get a family shot before it was all over...
The big cousins, only posing for a picture because we told them if they smiled, they could get in the water... You gotta do what works.
Our best attempt with the four of them...
Ansley in her new suit with her Jaydee.
The fun begins!
And continues...
My beautiful sis watching the action...
Daddy getting in on some action...
"Wow, that was fun, huh!"
The Meek men
Bear and Anser (which is Addison's new nickname for her. She might be a little bit like me in her love of all things nicknamed... :))
The little besties playing away...
Happily exhausted after a fun adventure...

Happy Memorial Day, yall!

Is she or isn't she? Can she or can't she?

2011-05-30T09:00:00.004-05:00

So, we've officially started trying cereal...
and the questionable diapers are back... TMI, right. Who wants to talk about poop? Well, poor Patrick, my mom and sis, and my closest friends have probably had more of these types of convos than they ever care to have again... Bless her. She loves eating, and her system could just be changing or her up-and-coming teeth could be playing a role (I mean, we don't ever deal with things in isolation... Who does, though?) OR her body could just be rejecting it as an allergen. The good news is there has been no rash, no breathing problems, no vomiting, so we will hope it is an immature digestive system.

Regardless, move over rice cereal, we are trying baby oatmeal next. On deck are sweet potatoes and squash. We are going to find some things this sweet little girl can eat, and I am determined to have fun and be hopeful trying. Thanks for your thoughts, prayers, and emailed tips regarding my last post! Happy Memorial Day!

Ansley at 6 months... barely before she is 7 months... oops!

2011-05-25T15:22:00.007-05:00

I am getting worse and worse at this! Ansley will be 7 months on Saturday, and I am just now doing her 6 month post. What a fun month it has been for us. I remember calling 6-months with Addison the "glory baby days," and I feel the same so far with Ansley.Isn't she a doll? This picture I called "sunning" in my facebook album, and this was her at her big sister Addison's best buddy Jackson's Water Party for his 3rd birthday.
This was us on Mother's Day. People think we kinda look alike. In this picture I would agree. I think she looks a lot like her big sister, but she definitely looks like an individual self, Ansley-girl.
She started sitting up a little after 5 months, and this is the first picture I snagged of her.
She was tired out after our Easter lunch because she had to play HARD to keep up with her big sis and her big cousins.
She can hold her own though, don't worry. Look at this mischevous grin.
She was just excited to come to the party.
She also got to celebrate her cousin Hanna Claire's 3rd birthday this month, and her Sawyer-buddy turned 1. They are about 5.5 months apart, and they are going to continue to be big buds.

At Ansley's 6 month appointment, I was nervous about her weight. We had had those setbacks and weight losses through all of our allergy issues, but once we removed the allergens from her diet, she started packing the pounds. At her 6 month appointment, she had doubled her birthweight at 15lbs, 1.5 ounce putting her in the 30th percentile, and 2 weeks later when she had an ear infections, she was already up to 16 lbs. Yay Ansley! I can't remember her actual length and head, but she's in the 80th for height and 90th for head. Steady growth on all acounts.

She is still only eating breastmilk and she eats 5 or 6 times a day taking 6 or 7 ounces per feeding. This has been hard. I think that she wants real food, but with all of her issues, our pediatrician put the brakes on introducing solids. Tomorrow we are introducing cereal for the first time (2nd official time), and I had to hunt for a soyless cereal, but thank you beechnut! In addition, our doctor recommended making all of her baby food, so my friend Karen let us borrow her puree-er and cookbook. If anyone has any tips or trick in this department, I'd love them!

At 6 months, Ansley loves sitting by herself, reaching for things, getting on her tummy from sitting position, her sophie giraffe, her feet, her stacking toys, her Einstein turtle, and her sister. Addison can make her belly laugh better than any of us.

She babbles ALL the time. No docile second child here.

Her favorite books are Goodnight Moon, What Make's a Rainbow?, Peek a Whoo?, and Pat the Bunny.

She loves bathtime, and she has started hating bedtime. It started with her ear infection--she ended up back in the swing back in our room, and then her up and coming teeth have set her back, but usually she goes to bed at 8:30, and I wake her up at 6 to get her ready for school.

As I just mentioned, she is getting 2 teeth. This surprised me because Addison didn't get a tooth until she was almost 11 months old, but I know that 7 months is average. They are close to breaking the skin! Yay Ansley.

We are head over heels with this littlest blessing, and we appreciate any thoughts and prayers for her as she continues to battle these allergies.

5 months and our new reality

2011-04-13T15:38:00.006-05:00

It's been a long time since I've written. Life has been a whirlwind, and we have been dealing with some stuff. I wanted to wait to write until there was some resolution to our situation. Now, I'm not sure when that will come. :)

Our sweet Ansley could use some prayers. So could her momma.

We went to the beach for Spring Break. It was supposed to be a fun girls' trip with the babies, and it was fun... in some parts... However, I spent several days sidelined with the stomach virus from hell. Seriously. I could give you details, but they would make you cry. A side effect of my sickness was dehydration which seriously impacted my milk supply. My sweet baby got very hungry, so I supplemented with basic enfamil formula. Bad idea.

Immediately, she had a distressed cry and labored breathing. She then went pale, turned drowsy, and passed out. At that point, I called the doctor. While leaving a message, Mom and Lindsay called me in to look at her chest which was covered in red splotches. At that point we put her in her carseat and took her to the ER. By the time we got there, the Vanderbilt nurse had called me back, and upon hearing that Ansley now had facial swelling and hives, she recommend us to go to the ER. Good thing we were in the parking lot. She was experiencing anaphalaxis.

Once admitted, sweet Ansley finally vomitted it out of her system (all over me. i wore a hospital gown that revealed my backside. I was a dancing Harry.) The staff treated her with antihistamines and steroids, kept her for observation, and then we returned home. (While at the hospital, I was in and out of the bathroom getting sick as well, but this story is about Ansley, not me.)

From that point, I eliminated dairy--the seemingly obvious culprit--from my diet, and continued to work on reestablishing my milk supply. The day after we got home, I took my baby to her doctor, and they prescribed us an epi pen. We have four. One in her diaper bag, one at school, one in my purse, and one in our medicine cabinet.

My frozen supply now obsolete (since I had been consuming dairy while making it), I have been fighting to make milk. I still need to supplement one bottle a day. Our next try was isomil soy formula which Addison was on after I stopped nursing her at 6 months. For a few days, we thought it was going well, and then she broke out into hives. Now, my diet is dairy and soy free.

Our next try was Alimentum. She seemed to do ok, but began screaming at night, and we thought Alimentum was the culprit. We found out that she had an ear infection, so we thought that maybe that was it. Then she refused Alimentum.

Next we tried Nutramigen. Immediate, gagging, projectile vomit. BLESS HER.

The last couple of days we have tried Elecare--the last stop amino acid formula. She threw it up the first time, took an hour and a half to take the diluted second bottle while she was screaming the whole time, and has sleep eaten 2 others. Now, she has a horrible cough, a runny nose, and eczema. If she were allergic to this, it would be like being allergic to her own body. We took her to the doctor today, and this could be seasonal allergies, or another ingestion. We are back to square one.

I am so stressed out and so worried, yet Patrick and I are fighting to be thankful for these circumstances, to find joy in this season. We have a precious happy little girl who we couldn't love more, and we just want to help her get nutrition... We pray that the Lord strengthens her and us through all of this, that he is glorified. We pray that she can grow out of whatever is ailing her.

Please pray for her and for us as well.

4 months (well, 4 and a half months now...)

2011-03-13T21:30:00.003-05:00

Where does the time go? Our Ansley girl turned 4 months on February 28. On February 27, she received her baby Bible from Brentwood Hills (where her sister and her mommy got their baby Bibles too). We took some pics to document the event:

At 4 months old, Ansley weighs 12.5 pounds and is in the 20th % and is almost 25 inches long in the 80th%--long and lean like her sister. She eats 6 times a day (but just this weekend I am stretching her and trying to feed her 5 times a day). Since I have gone back to teaching, she takes some pumped milk, and I nurse her at school (and at home) as well. Our doc said to wait on cereal unless we were just itching to, so we might start next week at the beach when she is almost 5 months. She still naps in between most feedings with one longer nap and sleeps for about 10 hours at night. She is so happy and laid back--except when she is hungry or tired. Then, she owns it.

Her favorite "toys" are her exersaucer and jumper, and she loves sitting in her Bumbo to play with her dog and giraffe toy. What am I saying? Her favorite toys are her feet! They are always in her hands or in her mouth, and I love it! She holds her own bottle, tries to sit up (but wobbles pretty quickly), and babbles all day long. She dadadadas, rararas, and dobe dobe dobes similar to how Addison did. She will pull out her pacie and start "talking" if she thinks someone is listening. She ADORES her big sister, and the feeling is mutual.

I am finding that I am not wanting these milestones to come and go so quickly this time. With my first, I was so excited about every new thing. The first time Ansley tried to hold her bottle, I told Patrick and the ladies who take care of her at school that I wasn't ready for them to let her do that yet. :)

I am loving having the girls at school with me, and Ansley's morning walks to my classroom bring me the most fulfillment. I am greeted with her squeals of delight, and then her ravenous hunger when I go to feed her a little bit later. Addison is very proud of and protective of her also. We love this little lady and are finding so much joy in raising her.

My Little Valentines

2011-02-12T22:05:00.003-06:00

I love love. I really love these two loves.

This big love is a great big sister and is so loving and creative and funny.

This little bit is sick with RSV in this picture. Bless her. She smiled through all the coughs... She is extra special on this day because she is a product of last Valentine's Day. Yeah. I said it. :)

Hope you celebrate all the loves in your life.

Cabin Fever Crazies

2011-01-14T15:49:00.009-06:00

This is what we have been up to in this snow-filled week:

1. Potty Training

Unfortunately, this picture turned out blurry. Thankfully I captured this potty dance with the video camera too. Friday afternoon when I went to get Miss Priss up from her nap, she had taken off her diaper because it was wet and then proceeded to wet the bed. That sent me into motion. I had been putting of potty training for awhile, trying to let things level out around our house with all of the changes. This incident was the push I'd been needing, and I went into fast motion. I ran out to Books-A-Million and bought Toilet Training in Less than a Day. Published in 1974, it is a tried and true method and was recommended by many friends. I sped-read that and put it with the info I had read from Potty Training in 3 Days or Less.

Saturday was the day! Both methods strongly suggest practice and rewards, so we woke up, put on her big girl panties and tshirt, made up a potty dance, pumped her full of juice and waited... for 3 and a half hours... It was a battle of the wills, but finally when she couldn't handle it any more, she ran to her potty, said, "I need some privacy," shut the door, and peed in her potty! Patrick and I looked at each other, dropped our jaws, and mouthed, "Seriously? Who knew?"

She has had a couple of accidents [a few at my parents... she'd be on her way and go before she got there... too much football excitement!], but we have been accident free since Tuesday afternoon. Church and school will be a test, but she is doing great and is so proud of herself! We are still using pullups at night, but she's woken up dry the last 3 mornings. Mommy is POOPED!

2. Finding her thumb.

Just like her daddy. :)

3. Starting Children's Worship at church.

She loved it and has been singing the songs all week.

4. Donning new bonnets at church

5. Cheering on Auburn in the National Championship [even Patrick] and loving every minute of it! All we do is win...

Loving my littlest champion!

6. Playing in the snow

It was beautiful, and we had fun, but I am ready to get out of the house for sure!

I like to play it safe.

2011-01-14T12:38:00.004-06:00

My life isn't turning out like I thought it would.

And yet I have everything I ever thought I always wanted: a loving husband, two sweet daughters, a family pet, a nice house, a good job, wonderful friends, family nearby.

Something is missing.

I have recently been so convicted that I am not living out my faith like I had idealistically in college thought I would be doing. Going to Auburn was the first time I didn't play it safe. I didn't even consider it a choice until February of my Senior year of high school when all of my safe choices were annoying me to no end, and then I chose to go to a place where I knew no one. (What was I thinking?) Going there opened my eyes to taking risks and being radical. Of course I made my mistakes, but I also fell in love with the Lord. I learned about discipleship, and I felt the cost of it. My goal was to help people find the Lord and find Salvation. My college experience lead me into ministry. So idealistically bright-eyed and wonder-filled, I leapt against the grain and dove into making a difference in the lives of college students at my rival campus.

While I loved and cherished many of my ministry experiences, I also was met with the greatest disappointment I have ever experienced in my Christian life. I have never been more discouraged that when church elders, ministers, members turned blind eyes to the corruption of one of its beloved leaders, and in turn, their backs on me and another colleague.

Even though my family and friends enveloped me in love and support, I ran. Thankfully, I ran to Patrick. If anything good came from my heartbreak, it was that I ended up in the same town as my husband who had been waiting so patiently for me to choose him. We married shortly after, and I healed... sort of.

Patrick experienced his own disappointments in ministry, and two broken spirits prayed and asked God to take us out of it. We moved to Nashville, got great new jobs, and started our family. We tried out churches, briefly settled at one, and after other disappointments and discouragements, sought refuge at my home church. Along the way, the corruption that I thought had ruined me during my ministry stint was brought to light, but I found no satisfaction, no redemption, in that either. I just kept going through the motions of playing church and living *mostly* right.

I like to have a plan for my life. I like to keep a budget and really adhere to it. I like to have goals and meet them. I like to save money for something special. I like that my daughters are 2 years apart. I like that Patrick and I moved back to Nashville. I like that we go to the church I was raised in.

However, that all brings me to where I--discontentedly--sit now.

I am not discontent in my marriage, with my children, in the other wonderful things that fill my life, but I am discontent because I don't know that I am living sacrificially.

It's not about me.

It's not. I always get annoyed at people's facebook profiles where in the about me section, they write "it's not." But really... It's not. I pray about so many specific things in MY life, but the only significance about MY life is that it should glorify MY God. So, it's not about my wounds or my goals or my possessions. It is about living in such a way that reflects my overwhelming love for my Creator. For nothing being as important as my desire to serve Him.

I know that my human flaws are real, and they are there so that God's grace can cover me. I am not aiming for perfection, and I even acknowledge the things in my life that have spiritual value--teaching my daughters about God's love for them and how to love others, working on my marriage so that my daughters can see what imperfect but God-honoring marital love can look like, worshipping God in community. But I even want those things to be more glorifying to Him than satisfying to me.

Somewhere along the way, my disappointments with church, with people who I thought were good, with ministry made me put my guards back up. It made me want to play it safe again. I let my guard completely down and got burned, and I wasn't going to let that happen again. So I played it safe. I play at church. I play at being a Christian. I am not being a true disciple. I've made it about me.

I once wrote an article about the cost of discipleship; I really thought I "got" it, and right now, I am not sure what my discipleship is costing me. How is my life different because I am a Christian? Am I living an obedient life? Am I willing to not play it safe again... to go where God calls me, to minister as He urges me, to invest, to purge?

Where I am feels scary. It feels desperate. But for the first time in a LONG time, it feels freeing. For the first time in a long time, I am asking God, What do you want my life to be? And I'm ready to play it not-so-safe.

"I listen carefully to what God the Lord is saying, for he speaks peace to his people, his faithful ones." ~Psalm 85:8

New year... new you?

2011-01-07T13:05:00.006-06:00

I think reflection is just part of me. As a touchy-feely English teacher (not-so-much), much of my grad school education classes required me to stop, reflect, and make necessary changes in hopes of rejuvenating my teacher spirit. Whether it worked or not, the habit has stuck with me all these years.

I love new beginnings. The start of a new school year, spring flowers and blooms, the beginning of summer, birthdays, and the new year. I make resolutions at each new year, as well as at the mark of each corner rounded, but I feel like it's the same song, different station... My new resolutions are never really new.

When I was filling out the pages of my new Mom Agenda planner (thanks, Linds), the quote of the week jumped out at me:

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning,

but anyone can start

today

and make a new ending."

~Maria Robinson

So, I've been thinking, what does that mean for my life? Where do I want this to go? How do I want this to end?

I keep thinking about my "Streams in the Desert" days of college and ministry and the verse that inspired those thoughts, Isaiah 43:19 from the Message:

Be alert, be present.

I'm about to do something brand-new.

It's bursting out! Don't you see it?

There it is! I'm making a road through the desert,

rivers in the badlands.

The verse before that one talks about forgetting the "former," the "old history." I do believe that there is value in taking inventory of where I am and where I've been, but I must stop dwelling in my "history" of shortcomings. Lord, please do a new thing in me this year.

"Happiness is not a station you arrive at,

but a manner of traveling."

~Margaret Lee Runbeck

My Beautiful Mess and her Big Bad Wolf

2011-01-05T15:28:00.005-06:00

This beautiful girl...

is as much of a mess as the pictures below suggest.

And her current obsession is STILL with the Big Bad Wolf.

Typical conversations include him, and many times each day, she says, "Hey Mom. You know the Big Bad Wolf? Well, he's gonna get me. He's gonna blow me down."

Innocently, my dad read her the story of the 3 Little Pigs. Let's just say it stuck.

Even after a myriad of reassurances that the Big Bad Wolf doesn't live at our house or even know where we live, we still have to check under her bed, in her closet, and in our attic closets for the Big Bad Wolf; we pray for the Big Bad Wolf; she even sings about the BBW. The other night, she adlibbed the Elmo Loves You song, and sang, "Elmo loves the Big Bad Wolf; Elmo loves Big Bird too. But most of all, Elmo loves you!"

She even asked Jaydee and Bear to take that piggie book away...

Today tops it all.

Little Mess had to take off her Belle dress and go to Time Out for disobeying Mommy. She jumped from the couch to the ottoman one too many times. When I asked her if she knew why she was in Time Out, she responded by shrugging her shoulders, hanging her head, and saying, "Yeah, Mommy. I disobeyed God. I can't go to the garden. (We recently read her about Adam and Eve.) And he's the big boss. And then Mommy is the boss. And then I'm the little boss," smiling ever-so-sweetly. Then, she continued somberly, "But God, you see, he will protect me. He will still protect me from the Big Bad Wolf. The Big Bad Wolf wants to come in here and blow Time Out down... Yeah. So, sorry mom. Sorry I jumped on the couch. I'll obey you now."

Lesson Learned. Thanks to the Big Bad Wolf?

A Picture of Happiness

2011-01-05T15:25:00.003-06:00

Even after long nights, growth spurt induced fussiness, and exhaustion, this beautiful face warms my heart. I am overwhelmed with thankfulness for the precious gift of this sweet soul. She is the fruition of the longings of my heart and gives my days...and nights... purpose.

Ansley at 2 months

2011-01-04T11:29:00.005-06:00

Having tummy time in her cribSanta Baby on Christmas Eve
Worn out after her first Sunday at church on Dec 19.
Smiling on Christmas Day
At 2 months, sweet Ansley has really come alive! She is 23 3/4 inches and in the 80th %; she weighs 10lbs, 2oz and is in the 30th %; her head is 39 cm and is in the 70th%.

She now smiles all the time--late at night when we shine a flashlight to see if she is asleep, when I wake her in the mornings, and any time in between. She especially likes to smile at men...

She is starting to like tummy time and is lifting her head. She has even rolled over 3 times. She loves her mobile. She is happiest when being held. Being the little sister, she is NOT shy at letting us know when she needs or wants something.

Prior to 2 months, she was eating about 4-5 ounces every 3 hours during the daytime. Now, she must be going through a growth spurt because she is wanting to eat every 2-2.5 hours. Yikes! Her sleeping is starting to get more on a schedule too, now that she is awake more. She wears herself out during playtime.

Poor thing caught my cold, and so we have returned her to our room at night so she can sleep in her swing which elevates her head more.

I am still being sensitive to her tummy troubles, but we are hoping it is more of a sensitivity to milk rather than an allergy.

This little girl captures our hearts more each day, and we love the hard and the easy, the good and not so good, the rewarding and the trying moments with her and our little family of 4.

Christmas Highlights

2011-01-04T10:16:00.011-06:00

Before Christmas, Linds and I let the big girls do another craft. They made gingerbread ladies with a kit from Trader Joe's. It was a bit simpler and definitely less involved than our ornaments. They loved it.

On Christmas Eve we celebrated with my mom's side of the family at her parents' home with our traditional dinner complete with peppermint parfaits.
Wish you could see sweet Ansley's face, but I like this family shot nonetheless.
Sweet sister shot.
That night Santa and his helper got to work!

looking through her loot.
Bathtime Belle was a major hit, and Addison hasn't quite figured out that she's just supposed to be a bath toy.
Another hit: Princess and the Frog big girl panties! Pants on the ground.

Santa loves babies too!

At Jaydee and Bear's after brunch, giving Sawyer his present.
Just what she wanted, a Belle dressup dress!
Jaydee and Bear with the kiddos
Ballerina princesses in their tutus.
Ah-oh!
The littlest cousins loved Christmas too!We traveled to Nana and Pop's for Christmas dinner. Ready to open presents!
Pop and Nana with their grandkiddos
The big girls
Daddy with his girls
We had a great whirlwind Christmas but are excited about 2011 and adjusting to our new normal.

Crafts of Christmas present

2010-12-23T14:57:00.010-06:00

Lindsay and I decided to get our kiddos together this week and do some Christmas-y things. These big girls were SO excited.On Tuesday, we commenced at Linds' to make cinnamon salt dough ornaments. Linds still has hers that she made as a child, and it STILL smells divine. Here are the 2 little elves.
Everybody had a spoon to mix.
The girls were overeager with their cookie cutters. Savannah loves stockings, and Addison loves Christmas trees.
Then, during the LONG cooking part, the girls entertained themselves by making snow angels on Lindsay's kitchen floor. (Love those little booties.)

These silly girls thought they could have nap time together in Lindsay and Daniel's bed. Think that would work? Yeah, right!
Where are our babies? Sleeping... Couldn't have been more perfect. In fact, during the afternoon naptime, ALL 4 of our kids were asleep at the same time. We couldn't have asked for a better day.

Cards of Christmases Past

2010-12-23T14:04:00.010-06:00

I've been working on our family's Christmas scrapbook and Holiday picture albums, and it's been fun to walk down memory lane thinking about our past Christmases as Crawfords. Here is a recap.2005: our "Just Married" Christmas. This was our first Christmas in our first house, with our first pre-lit tree bought with Wedding Home Depot gift cards. We bought our Pottery Barn stockings, hosted dinner parties and teen parties, and made our own traditions. (This was also our first picture card. I love it because it documents our beautiful wedding, but it makes me sad because Sarah Greer and DB were cut out, and Al Millergren is only halfway in... oh well.)

2006: our Maggie Christmas. We made our sweet bichon a part of our family that July and, of course, ordered her a matching PB stocking. I hosted Christmas Bunco, December lifegroup, and we had more teen and friend parties as well.

2007: our first Tender Tennessee Christmas in our new house. I hosted my annual Christmas gathering with my high school girlfriends at our house. Patrick and I also hosted the Crawford Christmas at our house! (We felt VERY adultish.) I was sick with pneumonia, but we enjoyed a hope-filled celebration with family and friend activities nonetheless.
2008: Addison's first Christmas. Even though she was just shy of 3 months, we made this holiday all about out baby girl--establishing our traditions as a family of 3. We had Christmas morning at our house, went to my parents' for brunch, and traveled to Louisville (P's parents) for Christmas dinner. I grew up doing the same trek as a little girl and am excited to share that tradition with my girls.
2009: Patrick's coming home Christmas. After spending most of 2008 on the road, Patrick had a local project beginning in November, and that afforded him the opportunity to find a job that brought him home for good in January. At 14-15 months old, Addison embraced the holiday, proclaiming, "Ho Ho Ho" to everyone she greeted.

We have already made some fun 2010 Christmas memories, and I look forward to this weekend even more!

My Santa Baby...

2010-12-16T09:00:00.003-06:00

This sweet little Santa Baby has decided to be allergic to milk... just like her big sister.

I thought we were in the clear. She made it a week longer than her sis, but at 5.5 weeks old, her diapers started raising my suspicions, and we are back to square 1.

Now, my decision is to nurse... or NOT to nurse.

I did it last time--cut dairy totally and completely from my diet. I grew to like vanilla soy milk, but NEVER vegan cheese or tofutti sour cream. I honestly don't know if I have it in my again to make it as long as I did with Ad, but I am going to try.

The problem: I LOVE milk and cheese. Love it.

What will I eat?

Lots and lots of Pei Wei.

Soy Milk

broth based soups

peanut butter

eggs

oreos

sigh... vegetables

MEAT

Earth Balance buttery spread

A friend recently recommended the "So Delicious" coconut milk products.

Looks like Whole Foods and I will become friends again...

For my birthday, we went to Olive Garden. While it tortured my heart to forgo the cheesy entrees, I enjoyed my spaghetti, butterless bread, and cheeseless salad. My sweet mom made me a milkless cake (Duncan Hines Classic Yellow), and those cookies Addison and I made below: milkless!

I have become a reader of labels again and a shopper in the organic section of groceries...

I am going to give this a try.

Addison had totally outgrown her allergy by her first birthday. We put her straight on cow's milk. I wonder how early she outgrew it, and I am hoping that Ansley's is shortlived--even shorter.

Getting through the yummy Christmas food will be the toughest part! Wish me luck, and feel free to share any tips or tricks that you know of.

Addison's Bake Shop and Breakfast with Santa

2010-12-12T09:28:00.008-06:00

Friday's activity was making Christmas cookies.

Do you think she enjoyed it? She was a proud little baker.
Saturday we got to meet Santa Claus! And Mrs. Claus too! Addison asked for a train... we've coached her well... (We got her a train set for Christmas in August at IKEA.)
Mommy and Daddy even got to get in the picture!
Some sister love before celebrating Mommy's birthday.

The Big Bad Wolf... dipthongs and "L" sounds... and our trip to the speech pathologist

2010-12-10T12:21:00.005-06:00

This little girl has been cracking me up...

I'm going to go in reverse order topic-wise.

Just after Addison turned 2, she started stammering and stuttering a little bit. She would repeat the first word or syllable of a sentence--usually when she was really excited or tired. I read and saw that it was usually right before a developmental leap and that it wasn't anything to worry about. I did mention it to our pediatrician at her checkup, and he said not to be concerned unless she started showing frustration.

After Ansley was born, it got more pronounced and began happening with every word in a sentence. When she couldn't get it, she would almost yell it. I called my dear friend and college roommate, who also happens to be a speech pathologist in the school systems in AL, and she reassured me that this could happen with big life changes--like a new sibling--and gave me some tips to help her through it.

I felt so much better until the next week when she started blocking words and struggled to get out "Savannah," "animal cracker," "Christmas tree," and other things that she had said flawlessly hundreds of time before. Addison is a precocious child verbally. She talks ALL the time--in compound/complex sentences, so for her to struggle like this was breaking my heart. She was in tears, and so was I. I called my pediatrician back, and he referred us to a speech pathologist so that she could be evaluated. I second-guessed myself at every step, but I am so glad we went. Of course, she showed absolutely no disfluency when we met with her, but she has given us strategies to help Addison when she gets frustrated. We go back after Christmas for a vocabulary assessment, but already she seems to be phasing out of her repetitions. It overwhelmed me how emotional I felt about this hurdle..

Being a mom is hard stuff.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Language-wise, Addison is obsessed with exaggerating her dipthongs and "L" sounds...

"Ansa-Lee Caro-La-ina Ca-Lawford" Yep, she even wants to assign "l's" to "r's."

"I want my ba-Lue ba-Lanket, puh-Lease."

It's seriously hard NOT to get tickled every time she does it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Big Bad Wolf.

I know every kid has their thing that they are afraid of. For Savannah, it is Swiper. For some, it's Mr. Noodle. For others, snakes... Addison's is the Big Bad Wolf. Every night we have to check the closet, the corners of the room, her drawers to make sure the big bad wolf is not there...

Last night, we were laying in bed, and after being quiet for awhile, she said, "You know, MUM... (It seriously almost sounded the way a little British girl would say "Mom," and I always wanted my children to have British accents... especially after I saw the 2 little girls in The Holiday... or maybe that's just because Jude Law was their dad...sigh. Love you, Patrick! :) Anyway, tangent...)

"You know, Mom... You know what I think??? I think that maybe... maybe... the Big Bad Wolf just wants to say "hi" to me... Does that sound fun?"

Bless her!

Stroller Woes

2010-12-09T12:41:00.008-06:00

Any mom out there, feel free to weigh in on this. Patrick and I have been knocking around what kind of stroller to buy for 2 children... Addison is not ready to be turned loose, and Ansley will be in her carrier for awhile. I don't want to stay cooped up because I lack the confidence... or the gear... to get out with my children. We have battled it out and discussed the following:

1. Buy nothing. Just make do with the travel system and hand holding, or if I have help, the travel system and umbrella stroller

2. A side by side umbrella stroller

3. A double jogging stroller

4. A Chicco double stroller

5. A sit and stand

We are still knocking around ideas (while trying out all of our options and becoming friends with the UPS man...)

When I was pregnant with Addison, we chose this:

The Chicco Adventure travel system. We have loved it and been super happy with it. Upon having Ansley... and still needing something for Addison, we started researching our options... Actually, we used the research that Lindsay and Daniel had done just a few months before and chose this:

Not the same color. The one we got was all black, but for my blog I though this was pretty. It was inexpensive, durable, fairly light, and it sat in my truck for 2 months. When we finally opened it up, put it together, and decided to use it, we found that the marketed "universal base" did not apply to our Chicco Key Fit Carrier. We were frustrated and we sent it back...

Then, on cyber Monday, we ordered this:
Totally made for our carrier, more than we wanted to spend, but it was Ansley's money anyway from my "Sprinkle" shower anyway, so we decided to try it out...

It weighs 47 pounds. Awkward. No turn radius. No way I could maneuver in Williams-Sonoma... We strolled Addison around our downstairs, and knocked so many things over...

Back to the UPS man.

We researched some more and found this option:

The Joovy Ultralight. Originally more than we wanted to spend, but on sale for almost $100 off. Only weighs 21 pounds. Fits our Chicco Key Fit (We'll see) and still has the sit and stand function for Ad. Who knows, but as of an hour ago, it's on its way here.

So, moms, what kinds of strollers do you use and recommend? Is having a double stroller even worth it? How do you navigate? How often do you use them?

Are Christmas Cards Obsolete?

2010-12-07T14:12:00.004-06:00

Are cards obsolete? As a traditionalist and a lover of "real mail," I hope not! In December's issue of Real Simple, the etiquette columnist suggests that in the age of Facebook where everyone has already seen your family's pictures of the year, Christmas cards are no longer necessary. She does adhere to the notion that handwritten notes are still worth sending but claims that money spent on sending Christmas cards would be better spent on a new pair of boots...

Click on the image below to read the whole column. (Click on each image below for it's post and source.)
That article made me sad. I experience pure giddiness when I get cards and notes in the mail throughout the year. I love to examine the stationery, the handwriting, the words. I love to send notes and cards as well. It's one of my love languages. (Patrick actually left a sweet note on my bedside table last night.) So, as soon as the Thanksgiving sun sets, I look forward to checking the mail every day.

Christmas cards are a way of sharing merry-ness. Whether it is including a photo of family, children, pets, travels, writing a letter, or sending a beautiful card with a wish of peace, hope, or love, I cherish each one. I usually make Patrick look at him as he winds down from work, and I always display them in our home.

To think that a tradition like this is on its way out makes me depressed. Not really, but it does hurt my heart. In our virtual age of disconnectedness, Christmas cards help us stay connected. I look forward to receiving cards from my college roommates, sorority sisters, high school friends, family, and other friendships that we've developed on life's journeys.

Am I alone in this? Some things to think about... Do you send Christmas cards? How many? What is your favorite kind of card to receive (photo, winter scene, letter, etc.)? What kind of card do you usually send? How does your list change each year?

As mentioned before, I love displaying them in our home. Collectively Genius's post on different ways to do this was inspiring. Click on the pic below for the link to the entire post.

Yesterday, Haley wrote a post on Christmas decor and included the idea of making a booklet to display cards from years past. I remembered that The Creative Place did a tutorial showing how to make one of these. (Click image below for link to post.)
I'm off to finish making my book and address the next batch of cards to send out.

Merry Christmas Card season!!!

"Children are a gift from the Lord." ~Ps. 127:3

2010-12-03T09:03:00.002-06:00

Meet our precious gift:

Here is a draft of Ansley's announcement. We tacked on a "Merry Christmas" so we could get by with sending just one piece of mail out.Happy holiday season!

2 years, 2 months, 2 days

2010-11-30T14:38:00.005-06:00

My sweet Addy-belle:
These are my 2 favorites of her 2-year pics that Aaron Yung took. He is amazingly patient and creative, and you middle Tennesseans should definitely think about using him!

Addison has had a wild start to being a 2-year-old. With a baby sister in the house, she has had to adjust quickly. She is a very sweet big sis, always making sure that Ansley has her pacie, her blanket, her lovey, her monkey... She is very into playing in her kitchen, dressing her Mr. Potato head family, coloring and drawing, baking with her play dough, and taking care of her dolls. Dora is her favorite doll, and it's not uncommon for her to nurse Dora and call her "sweetheart" and scold her "Dora Michelle Meek!" (Her cuz is Savannah Michelle Meek.) She is embracing her holiday season with her elf on the shelf "Bubba" and her Little People nativity scene.

We love our Addy-belle and are thankful for our happy little girl!

1 month already?

2010-11-29T09:37:00.004-06:00

Can't believe that Ansley is already 1 month old! This season is flying by. Like we did with her sister, we documented the event last night propped up on her boppy. She was nodding off, so this picture was the best we could do, and she looks so serious. :)

This was literally one second later:
Ansley's first month has been an eventful one. She celebrated her first holiday--Halloween--in the hospital and her second--Thanksgiving--last week at Jaydee's. We went from having an extended hospital stay for jaundice to holding our breaths for a week as she had to be retested for PKU. Getting that letter from the health department saying she had received a questionable result began a week long faith journey of humility--as everything was beyond my control. Thankfully we celebrated good results the following Friday thanks to the resilience of my husband. He called the health department inquiring about her test results so many times he was on a first-name basis with them.

Through those events, we have been intentional about falling in love with our Ansley (even more than we were naturally doing), studying her, soaking in the blessing of her. She is a good eater and eats 6-7 times a day. During the day, I feed her every 3 hours, and at night she gives me 4-6 hour stretches. Patrick and I have dubbed her our "rock star" on those 6.5 hour nights that she's blessed us with.

She LOVES to curl up on our shoulder and sleep. She has found her thumb. She gets really mad when she has too poop--usually about an hour before she eats. She loves the Christmas lights. If her real smile is anything like her gas bubble smile, it's going to be absolutely beautiful!

Her legs are already longer than some of her 3 month pants, and she is filling out everywhere. She was up to 7 pounds and 14 ounces when she was 10 days old, so she's growing like a weed.

All three of us love our Ansley girl more every day, and she has rounded out our family of four!

I missed Halloween...

2010-11-15T10:58:00.003-06:00

but thankfully my little Minnie Mouse didn't.

I'm so thankful that we had a Halloween Dress Rehearsal, so I could see my little girl in action. Her practice phrase came out like this: "Trick or Treat. Give me some candles, please!" She got to trick-or-treat with her friends at school thanks to Nana and Pop. Daddy took her to our church's trunk or treat, and she even came up and trick-or-treated at my hospital room.

In this picture, she is "smiling like the pumpkin" next to her. This is one of her favorite faces that she came up with all on her own, and it has also become our ploy for more effectively brushing her teeth!
We also had another sweet little treat, and even though she was being ushered in and out ever-so-quickly, we managed to snap this!

Bear's Birthday Party... and the greatest coincidence of my life

2010-11-14T07:40:00.003-06:00

Last night we celebrated Bear's birthday. We had a football party, ate football food, sat on football blankets, cheered for our team(s), and it was all super fun. Here is Bear with his grandchildren:Mommy with her girls:
Wardrobe change for the UA game, and Daddy with his girls:
So, now for my coincidence... My dear friend, colleague, literature lover, Conroy-worshipper-fan, Kris, sent me an NPR article about Pat Conroy's new book, My Reading Life. Turns out that his daughter's name is Susanna Ansley... Who knew? I already wrote about her middle name Carolina being chosen for my (and Patrick's) love for the states, the influence and memories that we have from there. Reading Conroy while living there was a big part of that developed love, and now, this! I almost jumped out of my skin with giddiness when I found out. Thanks, Kris!

First few days at home

2010-11-05T20:56:00.003-05:00

Pictures to go with our story below

2010-11-04T14:18:00.014-05:00

Last outing as a family of 3. J Alexanders, YUMMY!

Welcome to the world, sweetie!
First photos with Daddy!
Big Sister and Little Sister meeting for the first time and swapping their build-a-bears.
Halloween as they were wheeling her out back to the bilirubin lights... Didn't want to miss her first Halloween without a festive picture--even though we just wish we had been home with her.

Finally... bringing our sweetie home!
SO excited for her sis to be home!

First night home--so relieved! More pics to come soon.

She's here! Meet Ansley Carolina Crawford

2010-11-02T21:20:00.003-05:00

Hey guys! I'm a little late sending this news out, and I know some of you have already heard through the grapevine or seen on facebook, but I wanted to let you know our news!

ANSLEY CAROLINA CRAWFORD is here!

October 28. 2010
7 pounds, 9 ounces
20.25 inches
12:50 p.m.

Here is my story of how she came to be... and our first few days with her.

She surprised us with an early arrival--11 days before her due date, and 1 week before her scheduled c-section. Little girl decided that she liked October better than November. :) Monday night in the middle of the night, I began having contractions--only I didn't know they were contractions because I never labored with Addison. I thought they were "poop pains..." I know, I know... I did begin to notice that their "waves" were about 10 minutes apart, but I was certain that if I could just use the bathroom, they would go away. After a sleepless night, I got up, went to the bathroom again, and lost my mucous plug. Again, something that I hadn't experienced with Addison. So, after calling my mom, I called my doctor, and he did not seem too concerned; he said that some women lose that weeks before they go into labor. I confessed my confusion with identifying gastro-intestinal pain and contractions, and he described contractions as being exactly like what I was feeling...

So, I did what any normal almost full-term pregnant person would do. I went to work. Yes, I am crazy and, yes, I spent all day timing the length of and between contractions amidst "teaching" and getting my room and lesson plans ready. The heightened 6-7 minute apart, 60-second contractions began right during the tornado warning that sent the entire school into the hallways. My friends abandoned their students they were responsible for to check on me. I was laughing--still not certain that I was REALLY experiencing labor pains.

Thankfully, my mom and my mom friends convinced me to go to the doctor, and after sitting with me through 3 of my now 5-minute-apart contractions, he went to call the Labor and Delivery OR and found out that they were booked solid. (Seems that the full moon weekend and stormy weather was causing all kinds of women to go into labor.) So, he gave me medicine to try to stop my contractions and put off my c-section until Thursday. (He also forbid me from working on Wednesday.) By this time, they were becoming increasingly painful, and I was not sure the medicine was working. It finally kicked in during dinner with my family, and I was able to spend Wednesday with Addison, soaking in good time with her and preparing for sweet Ansley's arrival. Wednesday night we celebrated out last dinner as a family of three and "tried" to get some sleep.

After dropping Addison off at school on Thursday, Patrick and I headed to the hospital to check in at 9:30. Then we hurried up and waited. My surgery took place at 12:30, and surreal and nerve-wracking as ever, I still got to meet my newest little girl at 12:50 and hold her in my arms only moments later. She came into this world swallowing some meconium (kind of like her mommy did), but after it suctioned out, her cry was oh, so sweet. She stayed with me through being stiched back up and my 2-hour recovery. They even gave her her 1st bath in my room--something I had to miss with Addison.

We had a wonderful meeting of the sisters, a wonderful 1st family of 4 meeting, and a jam-packed Friday full of visitors. She was sweetly sleeping and eating and purring, and all was well--even though each of us had sneaking suspicions that her skin was turning yellow.

Saturday morning, when the pediatricians did their rounds, we found out that our little girl had dangerously high levels of bilirubin in her blood, would spend the next several days under ultraviolet lights, and there was no guarantee when we could go home. While jaundice is common, nothing about her levels were common. This reality hit me like a ton of bricks and knocked the breath right out of my. For the next 24 hours the only time I saw her was to nurse her every 3 hours for 30 minutes tops. I met with lactaction nurses to come up with a plan for speed nursing, borrowed a hospital pump, and prayed my heart out every time they wheeled her away. Patrick and I were able to go sit with her while in her "tanning" bed. We would hold her hands and talk to her, but she had shields over her eyes, and it was so hard. I don't know if I've ever cried or prayed more in my life. In the middle of the night, her nurse was so encouraging, and even though I didn't want to, I got my hopes up. The next morning, we learned that her levels had dropped, but only slightly... Another day under the lights with no end in sight. This day was even harder, but we just kept on... Patrick and I crawled in my hospital bet together, cried our eyes out and then prayed our hearts out for our little girl who we were missing so terribly. We did the same night, and Patrick, said through tears, "God, I just beg you... I need to take my girls home." Monday morning, we were met with good news. Her levels had significantly dropped, and while she needed to stay under the lights for another 7-8 hours, we would be able to take our girl home that afternoon. It was truly one of the most relieving, thankful, joyous moments of my life.

We are home! We had to go back to the pediatrician's office today, but her levels have dropped even more and we are REALLY home now. Praise God.

This was such a different experience.I feel like I missed 2 and a half days of her life. I don't have nearly as many pictures. I missed by big girl something crazy and ached for my little girl like I could not have imagined. Our reunion has been sweet.

Last night and today have been spent cuddling and getting to know my little precious Ansley girl--and making up for lack of pictures. She looks so much like her big sister with sweet little characteristics that are all her own. She has beautiful dainty little feet with "finger toes." She has LONG legs and sweet sleep noises and funny faces when she poops. She gets the hiccups and doesn't like to have her diaper changed. She has bright beautiful eyes. She furrows her brow and already "smiles" in her sleep. I am in love times 2, and my daughters have become even more precious to me as I have had time to reflect and pray.

Thank you, God, for my Ansley Carolina completing this family of 4 in such a special way.

More pictures to come--promise!

5 years and counting...

2010-10-21T16:55:00.005-05:00

Can't believe that 5 years ago I was getting to do this:
Seems like just yesterday. I'd do it all again, and I'd do it all the same. Same friendship, courtship, holding zone-ship, falling in love long distance-ship. I've known my husband of 5 years through a 9.5 year journey, and I would not trade my best friend in the world for anything in the world...

Our journey has been an adventure with peaks and valleys, ebbs and flows, and lots and lots of love. I am thankful to partner with a servant-leader, and man of character and integrity, and a sweet sweet Daddy.

As we anticipate welcoming a new child into our family in less than 2 weeks, we celebrate all that the Lord has taught us and all of the blessings He has bestowed on us. Can't wait to see what the next 5 years hold...

Here is a picture of us from the early days. I think this was during my last semester at Auburn, Fall 2002 when we went to ATL to celebrate Cortney's birthday...
I think we might have been in the courtship phase at this point... or maybe still the holding zone phase... but we were DEFINITELY in the kissing phase at this point! :) And, boy, was that kissing phase a fun one.

We have a special date planned for tomorrow night, so I'll post an updated NOW picture afterwards. :)