You read the wrong books...

My post title is one of my favorite--albeit watered down here--quotes from Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting. When I first heard this quote, it resonated with me. I had always considered myself a voracious reader, devouring anything I could get my hands on, but had I missed the right books somewhere along the way???

Even though I was an English major and loved writing myself out of any pickle, I often opted for the cliff notes versions of some of the classics I was assigned to read. I appreciated the imagery-rich descriptions of settings and clever dialogue and delving deep into the language to discover hidden meanings, but I much preferred the thrilling page turner with the seductive plot (Judith McNaught's Paradise was one of my all-time favorites. I know, right!?!?). As an English teacher, I have been so blessed with getting to go back and give some of these classics their due, but I always encourage my students to find something--anything--that they can sink their teeth into when they choose their own reading materials. I firmly believe that reading something is better than reading nothing (with the exception of fifty-shades-of-trash and the like).

As a child, I spent hours holed up with Little House in the Big Woods, Ramona Quimby, Anne of Green Gables, The Chronicles of Narnia, and my mom's old Nancy Drews and Boxcar Children, but I also devoured every Baby-Sitter's Club and Sweet Valley Twins book I talk my mom into ordering from Scholastic as well.

As a mom, I have tried to be intentional about what I have introduced my girls to in the literary world.  I am so, so thankful for my friend who introduced me to this book below:

It is such an inspiring book that really challenges what we are teaching our kids through what we expose them to. As a literal--and literary--person, I have always been focused on the words, the word pictures, the dialogue, and the story. This book reminded me of the power of the illustrations, and I have been introduced into a whole new world of capturing the young reader through actual visual pictures that make the words come alive.  I am reading these books with fresh eyes.  This book supplies a recommended reading list for each age group, and we have made our library lists--and our Amazon wish lists--through this resource.

Below are some of Addison's current favorites.  The Great Girl Stories collection is something that my mom picked up at a bookstore in Seattle a couple of years ago. In it is a collection of snippets of some of the classic early chapter books that I hope Addison will want to read--stories from Anne of Green Gables, Matilda, The Little Princess, Ramona, Pippi Longstocking, Heidi, Little House in the Big Woods.  We have just started reading some of those, and it thrills me to see her focused interest. I also LOVE it as well!

These are some of Ansley's current favorites. She asks for the Rainbow Fish every time we sit down, and she has named her babydoll Annabelle, and all of her stuffed monkeys are now George.

I am so thankful to have come across this book, and I would definitely recommend it!

***In my reading world, I just finished Killing Kennedy: The End of Camelot, and it was so, so interesting!

My post title is one of my favorite--albeit watered down here--quotes from Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting. When I first heard this quote, it resonated with me. I had always considered myself a voracious reader, devouring anything I could get my hands on, but had I missed the right books somewhere along the way???

Even though I was an English major and loved writing myself out of any pickle, I often opted for the cliff notes versions of some of the classics I was assigned to read. I appreciated the imagery-rich descriptions of settings and clever dialogue and delving deep into the language to discover hidden meanings, but I much preferred the thrilling page turner with the seductive plot (Judith McNaught's Paradise was one of my all-time favorites. I know, right!?!?). As an English teacher, I have been so blessed with getting to go back and give some of these classics their due, but I always encourage my students to find something--anything--that they can sink their teeth into when they choose their own reading materials. I firmly believe that reading something is better than reading nothing (with the exception of fifty-shades-of-trash and the like).

As a child, I spent hours holed up with Little House in the Big Woods, Ramona Quimby, Anne of Green Gables, The Chronicles of Narnia, and my mom's old Nancy Drews and Boxcar Children, but I also devoured every Baby-Sitter's Club and Sweet Valley Twins book I talk my mom into ordering from Scholastic as well.

As a mom, I have tried to be intentional about what I have introduced my girls to in the literary world.  I am so, so thankful for my friend who introduced me to this book below:

It is such an inspiring book that really challenges what we are teaching our kids through what we expose them to. As a literal--and literary--person, I have always been focused on the words, the word pictures, the dialogue, and the story. This book reminded me of the power of the illustrations, and I have been introduced into a whole new world of capturing the young reader through actual visual pictures that make the words come alive.  I am reading these books with fresh eyes.  This book supplies a recommended reading list for each age group, and we have made our library lists--and our Amazon wish lists--through this resource.

Below are some of Addison's current favorites.  The Great Girl Stories collection is something that my mom picked up at a bookstore in Seattle a couple of years ago. In it is a collection of snippets of some of the classic early chapter books that I hope Addison will want to read--stories from Anne of Green Gables, Matilda, The Little Princess, Ramona, Pippi Longstocking, Heidi, Little House in the Big Woods.  We have just started reading some of those, and it thrills me to see her focused interest. I also LOVE it as well!

These are some of Ansley's current favorites. She asks for the Rainbow Fish every time we sit down, and she has named her babydoll Annabelle, and all of her stuffed monkeys are now George.

I am so thankful to have come across this book, and I would definitely recommend it!

***In my reading world, I just finished Killing Kennedy: The End of Camelot, and it was so, so interesting!

Adjusting to my "New Normal"

I have had some time to reflect on my family's changes these last few months, and I thought I would share some of the things I am learning as I continue to adjust to our new normal.

When I was working fulltime teaching high schoolers, I always battled between loving what I did--analyzing literature, helping students craft sentences, having rich, thought-provoking class discussions--and, once I became a mother, the guilt on missing out on precious, fleeting time with my girls. I could never reconcile this battle.

Each summer as a new school year approached, I dreaded the time away from my girls at such tender young ages. I feared for Ansley's health with her severe milk allergies; I worried that Addison's spirit would be crushed too early in this tough world. I tried to talk myself into quitting, tried to make it all work in my head, tried to dream up perfect part-time situations, but each year I went back. It was always hard those first few weeks adjusting to the stress of the schedule, getting dressed, eating breakfast, and transporting all of our stuff into our cars by 6:40 to fight school traffic and travel 5.5 miles in 20 minutes.  Usually, though, once we transitioned, by mid-September, we were into our routine. I was stressed with the demands of my job, but I loved the teaching part, and that kept me going.  When I was home, and I was determined to be home by 3:15, I was wholly focused on my girls. We talked, went on walks, played, cooked, and enjoyed our precious time together. That time was fiercely protected and cherished. Sure, things suffered... things like laundry and housework; Patrick and I were often like ships in the night, passing each other just doing things to prepare for the next day, but we still managed to flourish.  Even though I loved what I did, and I felt like my family was doing just fine, I still couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't quite where I should be, doing what my heart longed--even more than teaching--to be doing.

Now I am two months into my new normal. I don't know what end is up.  I am so unbelievably grateful for the opportunity to do something different, so empowered by Patrick encouraging and even urging me to pursue this new venture, but I still don't quite know what to do with myself. I still haven't quite figured out what "my thing" is.  Now, I am so thankful that my girls get more rest. I am thankful that when they are sick, I don't have to jump through 23 hoops to figure out how to best take care of them. I am so thankful that we are able to focus--and allow Patrick to focus--on Patrick's career. I am so thankful that we share every mealtime, that I am able to prepare a healthier variety of meal choices. I have loved our weekday trips to the zoo, the Discovery Center, having neighbor friends over for coffee and muffins and play set time outside. I love that I don't cry with anxiety over grocery store runs. I am thankful that I found a meaningful job two days a week for 5.5 hours each day that I get to go to and take my girls to for their growth, development, and stimulation. I love pajama Mondays when we get to have them.

I am still not comfortable in my own skin.

When I was teaching at Indy, my girls were my outlet from all of the outside stressors at work. I felt-- truly felt--patience, grace, and love with them. I knew that they were exhausted from long school days themselves, so if they were "off" or extra whiney or tired, I gave them "passes" and embraced them with motherly love. I felt like each precious hour I spent with them was intentional. In many ways, I felt like I "got good" at being a working mom.

I am not good at being a stay-at-home, preschool-teaching mom yet. Now, with Addison in my class at school, my girls are not my outlet any more. Now, much of my stress comes from running our household. Even though I have been doing that for years, I no longer am able to blame laundry piles and messy kitchens on the demands of my work.  I feel like all of the patience and grace I used to pour into my children is below empty, and my temper is shorter and hotter. I am learning many things about myself that are hard to deal with.

Patrick reminds me that it is so easy to look back on the past and glorify the good/easy parts while we bury the bad/hard parts. I went back to Indy for Homecoming, and I missed the classroom, my students, and the validation I got from doing what I loved. It was easy to forget all of the things that made me crazy, but I was thankful for dear friends who reminded me right away what those things were... and I was thankful that after a couple of hours of fun that I got to go home and rock my girls to sleep.

Everyone I talk to says that I will "never regret" taking this time off to spend more of it with my girls.  I believe them.

I am thankful every.single.day. that I made--and was able to make--this decision this year. I just want to find my place. I just want to "get good" at this. I want to lovingly correct instead of exasperatingly chide. I want to fold and put away laundry, establish and keep a housekeeping schedule.  I want to be as intentional with my girls as I used to be. I want them to enjoy our time together. I want to still figure out what my thing can be so I don't lose myself in the process.

Thankfully the Lord reminds me that His mercies are new every morning. Thankfully, He reminds me that His grace covers me. Thankfully, He reminds me to remain in Him for everything I need, to embrace His Spirit for the good fruits.  Thankfully, He reminds me that our roads aren't supposed to be easy, that we have to put on our armor every day for every station in life. Thankfully, He reminds me that we aren't living for this life anyway, and that our goal and focus should be on His Kingdom.

Thank you, Lord, for your goodness.

I have had some time to reflect on my family's changes these last few months, and I thought I would share some of the things I am learning as I continue to adjust to our new normal.

When I was working fulltime teaching high schoolers, I always battled between loving what I did--analyzing literature, helping students craft sentences, having rich, thought-provoking class discussions--and, once I became a mother, the guilt on missing out on precious, fleeting time with my girls. I could never reconcile this battle.

Each summer as a new school year approached, I dreaded the time away from my girls at such tender young ages. I feared for Ansley's health with her severe milk allergies; I worried that Addison's spirit would be crushed too early in this tough world. I tried to talk myself into quitting, tried to make it all work in my head, tried to dream up perfect part-time situations, but each year I went back. It was always hard those first few weeks adjusting to the stress of the schedule, getting dressed, eating breakfast, and transporting all of our stuff into our cars by 6:40 to fight school traffic and travel 5.5 miles in 20 minutes.  Usually, though, once we transitioned, by mid-September, we were into our routine. I was stressed with the demands of my job, but I loved the teaching part, and that kept me going.  When I was home, and I was determined to be home by 3:15, I was wholly focused on my girls. We talked, went on walks, played, cooked, and enjoyed our precious time together. That time was fiercely protected and cherished. Sure, things suffered... things like laundry and housework; Patrick and I were often like ships in the night, passing each other just doing things to prepare for the next day, but we still managed to flourish.  Even though I loved what I did, and I felt like my family was doing just fine, I still couldn't shake the feeling that I wasn't quite where I should be, doing what my heart longed--even more than teaching--to be doing.

Now I am two months into my new normal. I don't know what end is up.  I am so unbelievably grateful for the opportunity to do something different, so empowered by Patrick encouraging and even urging me to pursue this new venture, but I still don't quite know what to do with myself. I still haven't quite figured out what "my thing" is.  Now, I am so thankful that my girls get more rest. I am thankful that when they are sick, I don't have to jump through 23 hoops to figure out how to best take care of them. I am so thankful that we are able to focus--and allow Patrick to focus--on Patrick's career. I am so thankful that we share every mealtime, that I am able to prepare a healthier variety of meal choices. I have loved our weekday trips to the zoo, the Discovery Center, having neighbor friends over for coffee and muffins and play set time outside. I love that I don't cry with anxiety over grocery store runs. I am thankful that I found a meaningful job two days a week for 5.5 hours each day that I get to go to and take my girls to for their growth, development, and stimulation. I love pajama Mondays when we get to have them.

I am still not comfortable in my own skin.

When I was teaching at Indy, my girls were my outlet from all of the outside stressors at work. I felt-- truly felt--patience, grace, and love with them. I knew that they were exhausted from long school days themselves, so if they were "off" or extra whiney or tired, I gave them "passes" and embraced them with motherly love. I felt like each precious hour I spent with them was intentional. In many ways, I felt like I "got good" at being a working mom.

I am not good at being a stay-at-home, preschool-teaching mom yet. Now, with Addison in my class at school, my girls are not my outlet any more. Now, much of my stress comes from running our household. Even though I have been doing that for years, I no longer am able to blame laundry piles and messy kitchens on the demands of my work.  I feel like all of the patience and grace I used to pour into my children is below empty, and my temper is shorter and hotter. I am learning many things about myself that are hard to deal with.

Patrick reminds me that it is so easy to look back on the past and glorify the good/easy parts while we bury the bad/hard parts. I went back to Indy for Homecoming, and I missed the classroom, my students, and the validation I got from doing what I loved. It was easy to forget all of the things that made me crazy, but I was thankful for dear friends who reminded me right away what those things were... and I was thankful that after a couple of hours of fun that I got to go home and rock my girls to sleep.

Everyone I talk to says that I will "never regret" taking this time off to spend more of it with my girls.  I believe them.

I am thankful every.single.day. that I made--and was able to make--this decision this year. I just want to find my place. I just want to "get good" at this. I want to lovingly correct instead of exasperatingly chide. I want to fold and put away laundry, establish and keep a housekeeping schedule.  I want to be as intentional with my girls as I used to be. I want them to enjoy our time together. I want to still figure out what my thing can be so I don't lose myself in the process.

Thankfully the Lord reminds me that His mercies are new every morning. Thankfully, He reminds me that His grace covers me. Thankfully, He reminds me to remain in Him for everything I need, to embrace His Spirit for the good fruits.  Thankfully, He reminds me that our roads aren't supposed to be easy, that we have to put on our armor every day for every station in life. Thankfully, He reminds me that we aren't living for this life anyway, and that our goal and focus should be on His Kingdom.

Thank you, Lord, for your goodness.

Winds of change

They've been a-blowing.

I love that verse I quoted in my last post about how God knows the exact time and places for us. I find so much comfort in that. I also find comfort in the Ecclesiastes verses about having seasons for everything under the sun.

This is a season of change for sure.

I have traded my high schoolers for pre schoolers. I have traded my stressful yet secure and empassioned full time teaching career for 3 part time jobs. Sometimes I wonder what I have gotten myself into. Other times I thank the Lord that my husband had the faith and desire to encourage me to make this change. He knew I needed one. After 8 years and 8000+ essays that have been graded in that time, I was weary. As a wife, a mom, a friend. As a teacher.

I now teach a preschool class at Sunshine Day School on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9-2. I tutor essay writers at tutor.com. I will also teach college English courses at University of Phoenix.

I am thrilled and thankful.

Even though there are busy days ahead, I am so excited to spend my days with my girls. I am thankful to still be teaching and learning. I am thankful to see how God will use this season.

For the first time, I have made bulletin boards and name tags. I have printed color sheets and handwriting sheets. I will sing clean up songs. Then I will put on pjs and help students with papers, and I'll even dress up one night a week and do my English thing in higher education.

I am so excited and again so thankful. Here are some pics of my classroom. Let the adventure begin!

They've been a-blowing.

I love that verse I quoted in my last post about how God knows the exact time and places for us. I find so much comfort in that. I also find comfort in the Ecclesiastes verses about having seasons for everything under the sun.

This is a season of change for sure.

I have traded my high schoolers for pre schoolers. I have traded my stressful yet secure and empassioned full time teaching career for 3 part time jobs. Sometimes I wonder what I have gotten myself into. Other times I thank the Lord that my husband had the faith and desire to encourage me to make this change. He knew I needed one. After 8 years and 8000+ essays that have been graded in that time, I was weary. As a wife, a mom, a friend. As a teacher.

I now teach a preschool class at Sunshine Day School on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9-2. I tutor essay writers at tutor.com. I will also teach college English courses at University of Phoenix.

I am thrilled and thankful.

Even though there are busy days ahead, I am so excited to spend my days with my girls. I am thankful to still be teaching and learning. I am thankful to see how God will use this season.

For the first time, I have made bulletin boards and name tags. I have printed color sheets and handwriting sheets. I will sing clean up songs. Then I will put on pjs and help students with papers, and I'll even dress up one night a week and do my English thing in higher education.

I am so excited and again so thankful. Here are some pics of my classroom. Let the adventure begin!

Wrapping Things Up

This year's end was different than others. Usually amidst the "let's get this over with" feelings of desperation, there is a euphoric sense of accomplishment. I usually write about this feeling most years... Primarily so I will remember. And there was still some of that. Just not as much.

I know one reason why: I had to take Ansley to work with me. During the last week of exams, my girls passed around the hand, foot, mouth virus. Of course they did. My parents were in London, so there was no back-up plan, so sweet Ansley got to hear honors portfolio media project presentations. She was a trooper, but it wore us both out.

The main reason for the anticlimactical ending, though, is the inevitable dismantling of my very special friend group. Since I have been at IHS, I have made some of the best friends of my life... Friends who I have entered the world of motherhood with, friends who I have experienced the highs, lows, and mundane moments of life with, friends who I have connected with on literary, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual levels. We have celebrated weddings, babies, 30th birthdays, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th birthdays. Our husbands have golfed together. We have done life together.

Now we are dispersing. One family is moving to South Carolina, another to a different part of Tennessee. One friend fell victim to downsizing of students and staff, and another is trying to move to the district where her son will start kindergarten. Others of us are just considering different career and life options.

In the midst of a building filled with teenage, staff, and political drama, my friends have been my safe place. I have no doubt that we will remain close friends, but our day-to-day will be different.

That thought just makes me sad. When I left on Friday... Not knowing when might return... I came home, got in the bed, pulled the covers over my head, and prayed for Jesus to come back. :) It was one of those kinds of days.

Thankfully, Friday night pulled me out of my funk. A friend organized a family gathering at Arrington Vineyards. It was perfect. Addison and Ansley got to run amuck with their Eagle's Nest buddies while the mommies and daddies got to enjoy the music and atmosphere in reflective and lighthearted peace. Patrick and I couldn't believe we had never been before. On the way home, Addison said that vineyards are so much better than restaurants!

Who really knows what next year holds for any of us, and our evening was the perfect way to celebrate and ring out the 11-12 school year. Love you, friends.

This year's end was different than others. Usually amidst the "let's get this over with" feelings of desperation, there is a euphoric sense of accomplishment. I usually write about this feeling most years... Primarily so I will remember. And there was still some of that. Just not as much.

I know one reason why: I had to take Ansley to work with me. During the last week of exams, my girls passed around the hand, foot, mouth virus. Of course they did. My parents were in London, so there was no back-up plan, so sweet Ansley got to hear honors portfolio media project presentations. She was a trooper, but it wore us both out.

The main reason for the anticlimactical ending, though, is the inevitable dismantling of my very special friend group. Since I have been at IHS, I have made some of the best friends of my life... Friends who I have entered the world of motherhood with, friends who I have experienced the highs, lows, and mundane moments of life with, friends who I have connected with on literary, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual levels. We have celebrated weddings, babies, 30th birthdays, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th birthdays. Our husbands have golfed together. We have done life together.

Now we are dispersing. One family is moving to South Carolina, another to a different part of Tennessee. One friend fell victim to downsizing of students and staff, and another is trying to move to the district where her son will start kindergarten. Others of us are just considering different career and life options.

In the midst of a building filled with teenage, staff, and political drama, my friends have been my safe place. I have no doubt that we will remain close friends, but our day-to-day will be different.

That thought just makes me sad. When I left on Friday... Not knowing when might return... I came home, got in the bed, pulled the covers over my head, and prayed for Jesus to come back. :) It was one of those kinds of days.

Thankfully, Friday night pulled me out of my funk. A friend organized a family gathering at Arrington Vineyards. It was perfect. Addison and Ansley got to run amuck with their Eagle's Nest buddies while the mommies and daddies got to enjoy the music and atmosphere in reflective and lighthearted peace. Patrick and I couldn't believe we had never been before. On the way home, Addison said that vineyards are so much better than restaurants!

Who really knows what next year holds for any of us, and our evening was the perfect way to celebrate and ring out the 11-12 school year. Love you, friends.

Teacher Love

My girls have been blessed this year with some of the sweetest teachers ever. They nurture their spirits and let them be themselves and teach them well. My girls adore them, and so do I. We thanked them recently with some teacher appreciation gifts and end of year gifts. The first pic is for the teacher appreciation day, the second is what I gave the lead teachers, and the third is the graduation gifts I gave the co-op girls.

My girls have been blessed this year with some of the sweetest teachers ever. They nurture their spirits and let them be themselves and teach them well. My girls adore them, and so do I. We thanked them recently with some teacher appreciation gifts and end of year gifts. The first pic is for the teacher appreciation day, the second is what I gave the lead teachers, and the third is the graduation gifts I gave the co-op girls.

End of yearness

Every year as the school year closes, I experience a myriad of emotions, and I am left questioning if I want to keep doing this... And how could I ever imagine NOT doing this... My constant inner conflict. On the one hand, I am dealing with checked out, too-cool-for-school kids, and on the other, I am receiving notes like this:



On that first hand, I am dealing with test anxiety and evaluations being unjustly tied to test scores of kids who forgot to show up-- both mentally and/or sometimes even physically, but, on the other, I am cheering on AP kiddos who have the ability to earn college credit for their year's worth of work with treat bags like this:

And then I remember that feeling I had as my first graduating class from the inner city was walking across that stage. I was hugging crying mommas and holding crying babies. I remember coming home and telling Patrick to never let me forget *this* feeling. Because I thought (knew) that the wear and tear of each passing year could potentially make me forget. Thank goodness I am not there yet.

Tomorrow I have 48 students who will be writing their hearts out as they try to validate their year by earning college credit for Freshman comp. Please send them your well wishes. They are going to do great--I just know it!

Every year as the school year closes, I experience a myriad of emotions, and I am left questioning if I want to keep doing this... And how could I ever imagine NOT doing this... My constant inner conflict. On the one hand, I am dealing with checked out, too-cool-for-school kids, and on the other, I am receiving notes like this:



On that first hand, I am dealing with test anxiety and evaluations being unjustly tied to test scores of kids who forgot to show up-- both mentally and/or sometimes even physically, but, on the other, I am cheering on AP kiddos who have the ability to earn college credit for their year's worth of work with treat bags like this:

And then I remember that feeling I had as my first graduating class from the inner city was walking across that stage. I was hugging crying mommas and holding crying babies. I remember coming home and telling Patrick to never let me forget *this* feeling. Because I thought (knew) that the wear and tear of each passing year could potentially make me forget. Thank goodness I am not there yet.

Tomorrow I have 48 students who will be writing their hearts out as they try to validate their year by earning college credit for Freshman comp. Please send them your well wishes. They are going to do great--I just know it!

278

That's how many essays I have graded in the last month.

Add 85 journals, 139 tests, and numerous other quizzes and classwork assignments, and you have one tired teacher.

One burnt out teacher.

Here's hoping for some rest and refreshment for a weary soul this weekend.

Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."

Matthew 11:28

That's how many essays I have graded in the last month.

Add 85 journals, 139 tests, and numerous other quizzes and classwork assignments, and you have one tired teacher.

One burnt out teacher.

Here's hoping for some rest and refreshment for a weary soul this weekend.

Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."

Matthew 11:28

Irony or Coincidence? Tales from the DARK and TWISTY...

I am an English teacher. I love all things to do with words and symbols, commas and parallel structure. I believe in no censorship. I make my kids bookmarks that proclaim, "I read banned books."

I am dark and twisty.

But I am about to scream. This is TOO MUCH. So far this year in a curriculum and scope and sequence that I fell into and did not create, I have taught the following texts:

"Lamb to the Slaughter" by Roald Dahl (an ironic story about a pregnant woman who kills her husband PATRICK with a frozen lamb leg when she finds out he is leaving her)

"Hills Like White Elephants" by Ernest Hemingway (my literary love affair--a cryptic story about a couple who is making a decision about whether or not to have a baby)

"Popular Mechanics" (a story similar to the I Kings 3 story in the Bible about the prostitutes fighting over the one baby where King Solomon rules to let them cut the baby in half, thus revealing the selflessness of the true mother, thereby saving the baby... Unfortunately, this story does not end this way.)

And, today, to my AP kids an op-ed piece from the Washington Post titled "A Miscarriage of Propriety" (an article that criticized a misuse of social networking to flippantly tweet about a miscarriage)

Seriously.

I almost cried.

I reassured my kids that I love my husband, and I love my baby.

They asked me if we ever read anything "happy" in my class, and I stopped and thought to myself, no... Thanks, Willco.

I am an English teacher. I love all things to do with words and symbols, commas and parallel structure. I believe in no censorship. I make my kids bookmarks that proclaim, "I read banned books."

I am dark and twisty.

But I am about to scream. This is TOO MUCH. So far this year in a curriculum and scope and sequence that I fell into and did not create, I have taught the following texts:

"Lamb to the Slaughter" by Roald Dahl (an ironic story about a pregnant woman who kills her husband PATRICK with a frozen lamb leg when she finds out he is leaving her)

"Hills Like White Elephants" by Ernest Hemingway (my literary love affair--a cryptic story about a couple who is making a decision about whether or not to have a baby)

"Popular Mechanics" (a story similar to the I Kings 3 story in the Bible about the prostitutes fighting over the one baby where King Solomon rules to let them cut the baby in half, thus revealing the selflessness of the true mother, thereby saving the baby... Unfortunately, this story does not end this way.)

And, today, to my AP kids an op-ed piece from the Washington Post titled "A Miscarriage of Propriety" (an article that criticized a misuse of social networking to flippantly tweet about a miscarriage)

Seriously.

I almost cried.

I reassured my kids that I love my husband, and I love my baby.

They asked me if we ever read anything "happy" in my class, and I stopped and thought to myself, no... Thanks, Willco.

Title: "Mrs. Crawford Flipped Me the Bird"

An essay with this title lay on my desk Monday afternoon when I returned from break. My first, thought, "What? Did I? Could I have possibly...without knowing it?" Then I saw the author, sighed to myself, and thought, "Well... I might have... you know... scratched my nose with my middle finger... just to make a point..."

Nervously reading on, I uncovered a heartfelt reflection of her high school experience written by a student whom I will always remember fondly. A witty smart aleck. A creative soul. A lover of words. She will be a student who will always brag about how she passed my class without reading a single novel I assigned--well, all except one; one who came back to my class in years following during her study halls to listen and contribute, to bug me, to ask for essay help or recommendation letters, to help me organize or file, to just walk and talk when she was going through a rough time. I will remember her as a student who overcame adversity to achieve high academic honors, as a student who blossomed through her maturity with language, as a student who made me laugh and smile and roll my eyes and even scratch my nose with my middle finger. She graduates next Saturday and, like so many peers in her class, has the world before her. I find myself a little nostalgically jealous about that fact. She is truly going to be somebody.

It's that time of year again--the hustle and bustle of last minute grades, the influx of essays that have yet to be graded, the pressures of state and AP testing, students on the border of passing or failing. It's enough to make me want to pull my hair out.

This morning, Kris and I tucked in our 80 AP students who are taking the exam--complete with their "Good Luck" goody bags, their essay cheat sheets, their enthusiastic reminders that "All Roads Lead to TONE!" And I feel completion. Seeing each one of them arrive at the testing site gave me a feeling of pride. Watching them become Seniors will make me even prouder.

I'm thankful that even while I want to pull my hair out with all of my last-minute stressors, I feel thankful, blessed, fulfilled, content in my job. I love it.

In my last post, I wrote about how being a mother is one of the greatest blessings in my life. It is so true. I want to add that being a teacher is up there on my list as well.

(The last sentence of my student's essay read, "And as for the title, I totally deserved it.")

An essay with this title lay on my desk Monday afternoon when I returned from break. My first, thought, "What? Did I? Could I have possibly...without knowing it?" Then I saw the author, sighed to myself, and thought, "Well... I might have... you know... scratched my nose with my middle finger... just to make a point..."

Nervously reading on, I uncovered a heartfelt reflection of her high school experience written by a student whom I will always remember fondly. A witty smart aleck. A creative soul. A lover of words. She will be a student who will always brag about how she passed my class without reading a single novel I assigned--well, all except one; one who came back to my class in years following during her study halls to listen and contribute, to bug me, to ask for essay help or recommendation letters, to help me organize or file, to just walk and talk when she was going through a rough time. I will remember her as a student who overcame adversity to achieve high academic honors, as a student who blossomed through her maturity with language, as a student who made me laugh and smile and roll my eyes and even scratch my nose with my middle finger. She graduates next Saturday and, like so many peers in her class, has the world before her. I find myself a little nostalgically jealous about that fact. She is truly going to be somebody.

It's that time of year again--the hustle and bustle of last minute grades, the influx of essays that have yet to be graded, the pressures of state and AP testing, students on the border of passing or failing. It's enough to make me want to pull my hair out.

This morning, Kris and I tucked in our 80 AP students who are taking the exam--complete with their "Good Luck" goody bags, their essay cheat sheets, their enthusiastic reminders that "All Roads Lead to TONE!" And I feel completion. Seeing each one of them arrive at the testing site gave me a feeling of pride. Watching them become Seniors will make me even prouder.

I'm thankful that even while I want to pull my hair out with all of my last-minute stressors, I feel thankful, blessed, fulfilled, content in my job. I love it.

In my last post, I wrote about how being a mother is one of the greatest blessings in my life. It is so true. I want to add that being a teacher is up there on my list as well.

(The last sentence of my student's essay read, "And as for the title, I totally deserved it.")

Teacher moment of the day...

"Let us think of ways to encourage one another
to outbursts of love and good deeds."
~Hebrews 10:24

Everyone needs encouragement... As a teacher, I don't get a lot of "atta boy" pats on the back. That was my choice though. Venturing into the high school English classroom doesn't always provide a teacher with inspiration, appreciation, validation. But every once in a while I have one of those moments that makes my profession, my calling, worth it.

Today, one of my former students signed a scholarship to play soccer. It was a big deal. Last week, I received an email from her mother inviting me to be there. She said that I was her daughter's "favorite teacher in high school, and I had instilled a love of reading and learning in her that would continue to influence her in her coming years." I was so humbled. I had no idea. I "keep up" with this student like I do all my former kiddos--catching up when I see them in hallways, ask them sports questions if they are athletes, music/theater questions if they are drama kids, but it's mostly just polite chit chat. To be invited to a scholarship signing by the parents of a former student was a high honor to me--silly as it may seem to some of you--and you better believe I got coverage for my class and showed up. It was cool. I am so proud of her.

I only wish the feeling had continued into the next 30 minute period when I received an angry email from a parent questioning me on why I hadn't recommended their child to take AP English next year... Ah the fleeting joys of the high school world. I'm gonna live on that first moment for awhile though.

"Let us think of ways to encourage one another
to outbursts of love and good deeds."
~Hebrews 10:24

Everyone needs encouragement... As a teacher, I don't get a lot of "atta boy" pats on the back. That was my choice though. Venturing into the high school English classroom doesn't always provide a teacher with inspiration, appreciation, validation. But every once in a while I have one of those moments that makes my profession, my calling, worth it.

Today, one of my former students signed a scholarship to play soccer. It was a big deal. Last week, I received an email from her mother inviting me to be there. She said that I was her daughter's "favorite teacher in high school, and I had instilled a love of reading and learning in her that would continue to influence her in her coming years." I was so humbled. I had no idea. I "keep up" with this student like I do all my former kiddos--catching up when I see them in hallways, ask them sports questions if they are athletes, music/theater questions if they are drama kids, but it's mostly just polite chit chat. To be invited to a scholarship signing by the parents of a former student was a high honor to me--silly as it may seem to some of you--and you better believe I got coverage for my class and showed up. It was cool. I am so proud of her.

I only wish the feeling had continued into the next 30 minute period when I received an angry email from a parent questioning me on why I hadn't recommended their child to take AP English next year... Ah the fleeting joys of the high school world. I'm gonna live on that first moment for awhile though.

You know you are tired when...

you say to your students...

"I need you to STOP... saying WORDS... outLOUD...!!!"

That's my end-of-the-year, exhausted and exasperated attempts at classroom management...

My kids laughed and laughed at me when I said it--they really are good kids.

They are over it too! AP Exams are over. Gateway testing is over. All that's left is grading research essays and honors' portfolios. Hallelujah!

4.5 more days...

you say to your students...

"I need you to STOP... saying WORDS... outLOUD...!!!"

That's my end-of-the-year, exhausted and exasperated attempts at classroom management...

My kids laughed and laughed at me when I said it--they really are good kids.

They are over it too! AP Exams are over. Gateway testing is over. All that's left is grading research essays and honors' portfolios. Hallelujah!

4.5 more days...

things students say

A student, while revising a paper and focusing her thoughts on using precision in her word choice, approached me for help and said,

"Mrs. Crawford, I was thinking that you looked like an oracle of vocabulary..."

HA! I love my job.

A student, while revising a paper and focusing her thoughts on using precision in her word choice, approached me for help and said,

"Mrs. Crawford, I was thinking that you looked like an oracle of vocabulary..."

HA! I love my job.

Being Gentle

"Be gentle with yourself," wrote one of my assistant principals in an email to me after I had met with her to talk about the balance of being a working mommy--a balance that she seems to be on her way to mastering. It was one of many encouraging remarks made to me upon my return to the working world. I returned to this world not as the AP3, HONORS2 English teacher who had so proudly left her treasured role for a bit, but rather as a MOMMY who also teaches. I choose to work outside the home, and I value my career-- feeling grateful to be able to contribute to my family while also hopefully touching lives and enriching knowledge. But it is crazy how in a matter of 10 weeks my priorities have changed... and how steadily the tears flowed as I left my little girl in the arms of another that first day.

The challenge I am currently faced with is how do I balance my roles. I love all of them: Christian, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, teacher, writer, colleague. I don't know if I can do them all well at the same time, and it makes my perfectionist self a little scared. Scared to fail at any of them. I do believe, though, that if I can figure it out--even just a little bit--I will become a better mother for it.

One of my dilemmas has been the decision about whether to continue nursing. After I got over the trauma of having to cut dairy out of my diet, I decided to keep at it for a bit more--making a deal with myself to take the pressure off and just go feeding by feeding, day by day. With the help of my aforementioned assistant principal setting up a curtained area in her office and my hooter hider*, I am figuring out my pumping schedule. I even am able to take bottles down to the nursery and play with my Addy-girl at breaks during the day--her smile keeps my heart soaring through the rest of my classes.

One of the things I am learning is that I WILL become efficient at managing my time. When I am at work, I will work. When I am with Patrick and Addison, I will play, and laugh, and love fully. When I write, I will write. The rest of my roles, I'll just try to figure out as I take each day one at a time.

My first day back to work was last Wednesday. I completed my 3-day week fairly well, and I have thoroughly enjoyed my weekend. I'm ready for Monday--as ready as I will be. I'm just going to be gentle with myself

*Hooter Hider:

"Be gentle with yourself," wrote one of my assistant principals in an email to me after I had met with her to talk about the balance of being a working mommy--a balance that she seems to be on her way to mastering. It was one of many encouraging remarks made to me upon my return to the working world. I returned to this world not as the AP3, HONORS2 English teacher who had so proudly left her treasured role for a bit, but rather as a MOMMY who also teaches. I choose to work outside the home, and I value my career-- feeling grateful to be able to contribute to my family while also hopefully touching lives and enriching knowledge. But it is crazy how in a matter of 10 weeks my priorities have changed... and how steadily the tears flowed as I left my little girl in the arms of another that first day.

The challenge I am currently faced with is how do I balance my roles. I love all of them: Christian, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, teacher, writer, colleague. I don't know if I can do them all well at the same time, and it makes my perfectionist self a little scared. Scared to fail at any of them. I do believe, though, that if I can figure it out--even just a little bit--I will become a better mother for it.

One of my dilemmas has been the decision about whether to continue nursing. After I got over the trauma of having to cut dairy out of my diet, I decided to keep at it for a bit more--making a deal with myself to take the pressure off and just go feeding by feeding, day by day. With the help of my aforementioned assistant principal setting up a curtained area in her office and my hooter hider*, I am figuring out my pumping schedule. I even am able to take bottles down to the nursery and play with my Addy-girl at breaks during the day--her smile keeps my heart soaring through the rest of my classes.

One of the things I am learning is that I WILL become efficient at managing my time. When I am at work, I will work. When I am with Patrick and Addison, I will play, and laugh, and love fully. When I write, I will write. The rest of my roles, I'll just try to figure out as I take each day one at a time.

My first day back to work was last Wednesday. I completed my 3-day week fairly well, and I have thoroughly enjoyed my weekend. I'm ready for Monday--as ready as I will be. I'm just going to be gentle with myself

*Hooter Hider:

Little bit of lately...

Picture 1: Pregnant Bellies at Kristen's baby shower--Jenny Beth at ~20 weeks, Kristen at 30, me at 27. Picture 2: My girls at the shower--Jenny, Andrea, Lia, me, Kristen, Tara, Kelly. Picture 3: How-to's for Maryland Crab eating. The most delicious crab I've ever tasted in my life {even including the Red Bar}!
Picture 4: market shopping in Annapolis. Picture 5: the Inner Harbor in Baltimore.


I spent this past week in the Virginia, Maryland, DC area at a conference for the AP Language and Composition course I am teaching next year. I traveled with my friend and colleague Kris G-C and greatly benefitted from her native experience to the area.

The conference was so enlightening--we read and analyzed Lincoln's second innagural address, letters between 8 Birmingham clergymen and Martin Luther King, Jr. while he was in jail, political cartoons from The New Yorker and The Washington Post, satirical pieces from The Onion, and various essays, speeches, and letters. We analyzed sample essays, learned how to grade them according to AP College Board standards, and brushed up on the Rogerian and Touliman arguments. All these things, of course, are supposed to prepare us to help our students become sharper thinkers and writers. I have to say--it was fascinating, and I left the conference feeling smarter, inspired, and motivated. That's always a good thing. {There were some interesting characters in our conference, though, those who thought their brilliance was unparalleled, those with serious delusions of grandeur, but I have their character sketches all mapped out, and I hope they show up in some book someday.} Now that I'm back, I have my work cut out for me for the rest of the summer though--that's for sure!

We stayed with Kris's sister's family in Virginia, and we took evening escapades to surrounding areas. The new places I got to visit were Annapolis, Maryland, and Baltimore, Maryland. I enjoyed perusing the shops at the market in Annapolis, driving through the US Naval Academy, and eating delicious Maryland Crab at Cantler's on the water by the yachts. In Baltimore, we spent time eating a delicious dinner in Little Italy at Sabatino's, watching a bocce tournament at an actual bocce court, meandering through the Inner Harbor, and finishing it off with canoli and cream at Vaccaro's. We worked hard during the day, but we had many nice distractions at night.

Kris had just gotten back from Bonnaroo, and from listening to the artists on our road trip, I discovered some new-to-me music that I'm loving. If you haven't heard all of Jason Mraz's songs, I strongly encourage you to download We Sing We Dance We Steal Things.

Picture 1: Pregnant Bellies at Kristen's baby shower--Jenny Beth at ~20 weeks, Kristen at 30, me at 27. Picture 2: My girls at the shower--Jenny, Andrea, Lia, me, Kristen, Tara, Kelly. Picture 3: How-to's for Maryland Crab eating. The most delicious crab I've ever tasted in my life {even including the Red Bar}!
Picture 4: market shopping in Annapolis. Picture 5: the Inner Harbor in Baltimore.


I spent this past week in the Virginia, Maryland, DC area at a conference for the AP Language and Composition course I am teaching next year. I traveled with my friend and colleague Kris G-C and greatly benefitted from her native experience to the area.

The conference was so enlightening--we read and analyzed Lincoln's second innagural address, letters between 8 Birmingham clergymen and Martin Luther King, Jr. while he was in jail, political cartoons from The New Yorker and The Washington Post, satirical pieces from The Onion, and various essays, speeches, and letters. We analyzed sample essays, learned how to grade them according to AP College Board standards, and brushed up on the Rogerian and Touliman arguments. All these things, of course, are supposed to prepare us to help our students become sharper thinkers and writers. I have to say--it was fascinating, and I left the conference feeling smarter, inspired, and motivated. That's always a good thing. {There were some interesting characters in our conference, though, those who thought their brilliance was unparalleled, those with serious delusions of grandeur, but I have their character sketches all mapped out, and I hope they show up in some book someday.} Now that I'm back, I have my work cut out for me for the rest of the summer though--that's for sure!

We stayed with Kris's sister's family in Virginia, and we took evening escapades to surrounding areas. The new places I got to visit were Annapolis, Maryland, and Baltimore, Maryland. I enjoyed perusing the shops at the market in Annapolis, driving through the US Naval Academy, and eating delicious Maryland Crab at Cantler's on the water by the yachts. In Baltimore, we spent time eating a delicious dinner in Little Italy at Sabatino's, watching a bocce tournament at an actual bocce court, meandering through the Inner Harbor, and finishing it off with canoli and cream at Vaccaro's. We worked hard during the day, but we had many nice distractions at night.

Kris had just gotten back from Bonnaroo, and from listening to the artists on our road trip, I discovered some new-to-me music that I'm loving. If you haven't heard all of Jason Mraz's songs, I strongly encourage you to download We Sing We Dance We Steal Things.

Grammar Nazism

I can always tell that school is about to start when I subconsciously slip back into Grammar Nazi mode...

Current Frustrations:

1. colons after verbs
2. definately

What things irk you to the point of nervous tics?

*Disclaimer: Being said Grammar Nazi doesn't exclude me from mistakes of my own that when caught cause the doubly intense tic.*

I can always tell that school is about to start when I subconsciously slip back into Grammar Nazi mode...

Current Frustrations:

1. colons after verbs
2. definately

What things irk you to the point of nervous tics?

*Disclaimer: Being said Grammar Nazi doesn't exclude me from mistakes of my own that when caught cause the doubly intense tic.*

Everything Changes!

Everything is changing so fast. During my hiatus from blogging and temporary overdose with facebook, everything about my life has been going under complete transformation... Patrick and I are moving back to the Nashville area this summer. He has accepted a job as a building superintendent, and I have accepted a teaching job. It should not come as such a surprise to me because we have been open to the idea for awhile, but we had no idea on what time table... or that it would happen THIS soon. At the end of April, we went to the beach for a long weekend, and we just dreamed outloud about our future... as is so easy to do at the beach. Several opportunities hit us at once, and here we go!

We are so excited!!! But also soooo overwhelmed! I used to be a free-spirit, one trunk kind of mover. I cannot count the number of times I have moved since college... You want to move to Charleston for the summer? You want to move into the mansion (XO) next semester? YOu want to take a break before grad school and move to Tuscaloosa for the summer? I know you want to live in my trailer for your last semester!?!? I was always up for it. Since I have been in my house for two years, I have become quite the nester. I have always been a bit of a pack rat--having kept my penpal letters from my friend Amelia when she moved to Kansas, every Birthday card, encouragement card, and even some thoughtful thank you notes... I have pictures and memorabilia from all vacations and mission trips. My closets are full! I'm freaking out...

Not to mention that I have the stress of selling the house, leaving my job, friends, church, surroundings... and moving to a new house, new job, new (and some old) friends, church hunting, and new surroundings... We are definitely in the chaos stage of the diagram right now!

Even so, I am confident, excited, and at peace that this is the right move for us. We have thought and prayed for so long, and God has just taken care of one detail at a time--making it ever-clear for us. It is a good time in our life to do this; it will put us closer to our families; it will relieve us of some emotional and spiritual stress; and it will give us freedom to pursue our dreams. Temporary pain=Long-term gain! :) Keep us in your thoughts, and we'll keep you posted.

Everything is changing so fast. During my hiatus from blogging and temporary overdose with facebook, everything about my life has been going under complete transformation... Patrick and I are moving back to the Nashville area this summer. He has accepted a job as a building superintendent, and I have accepted a teaching job. It should not come as such a surprise to me because we have been open to the idea for awhile, but we had no idea on what time table... or that it would happen THIS soon. At the end of April, we went to the beach for a long weekend, and we just dreamed outloud about our future... as is so easy to do at the beach. Several opportunities hit us at once, and here we go!

We are so excited!!! But also soooo overwhelmed! I used to be a free-spirit, one trunk kind of mover. I cannot count the number of times I have moved since college... You want to move to Charleston for the summer? You want to move into the mansion (XO) next semester? YOu want to take a break before grad school and move to Tuscaloosa for the summer? I know you want to live in my trailer for your last semester!?!? I was always up for it. Since I have been in my house for two years, I have become quite the nester. I have always been a bit of a pack rat--having kept my penpal letters from my friend Amelia when she moved to Kansas, every Birthday card, encouragement card, and even some thoughtful thank you notes... I have pictures and memorabilia from all vacations and mission trips. My closets are full! I'm freaking out...

Not to mention that I have the stress of selling the house, leaving my job, friends, church, surroundings... and moving to a new house, new job, new (and some old) friends, church hunting, and new surroundings... We are definitely in the chaos stage of the diagram right now!

Even so, I am confident, excited, and at peace that this is the right move for us. We have thought and prayed for so long, and God has just taken care of one detail at a time--making it ever-clear for us. It is a good time in our life to do this; it will put us closer to our families; it will relieve us of some emotional and spiritual stress; and it will give us freedom to pursue our dreams. Temporary pain=Long-term gain! :) Keep us in your thoughts, and we'll keep you posted.

You GOTTA to be kidding me!

So, today I finally bit the bullet and began grading my stack of research papers. I am averaging about 15 minutes per paper, and I have graded 18 of the 85 that were turned in. (Sadly, I have 91 seniors, and not turning in a research paper usually equals not graduating since the paper carries such a heavy weight.) Some of those 15 minutes have been pretty grueling, so I have been trying to keep some humor running throughout the process. I have been jotting down the ludicrous, hilarious, pitiful, bogus things that my students have been writing, and I thought I would share some of the best ones with you.

Now, before you think I am a horribly mean person, let me make this disclaimer: I love my students. They know that I love them. HOWEVER, we spent 6 weeks on this paper, and I covered every detail repeatedly--so much so that I felt like a broken record. Before you judge me too harshly, remember that I have spent about 4.5 hours drudging through these things. I have graded 5 "A" papers that I was supremely pleased with... but onto the goods...

"The author's attitude, stated or implied, is toward the subject."

"The way Chaucer's style was, it was amazing."

"Wordsworth received a good grounding for this classic poem."

"The type of style that Coleridge used for this poem was strangeness and awkwardness."

"Romeo and Juliet were basically two lovers at first sight--they went threw a lot together."

"All through his life he wrote, wrote, and wrote."

"On the other hand man versus nature is like when a dog appears before all of the jailors and prisoners."

"There are really only 6 main characters: Quasimodo, the hunchback of Notre Dame."

"After reading the book, many realize that it is suspenseful."

"This British Literature Research focuses on a poem. The chosen poem was chose, because it seemed easy to research a simple poem."

"This poem has a nine point five rating."

Comment on which one of these strikes your particular interest, funny bone, gag reflex... Well, I'm back to some more happy readings...

So, today I finally bit the bullet and began grading my stack of research papers. I am averaging about 15 minutes per paper, and I have graded 18 of the 85 that were turned in. (Sadly, I have 91 seniors, and not turning in a research paper usually equals not graduating since the paper carries such a heavy weight.) Some of those 15 minutes have been pretty grueling, so I have been trying to keep some humor running throughout the process. I have been jotting down the ludicrous, hilarious, pitiful, bogus things that my students have been writing, and I thought I would share some of the best ones with you.

Now, before you think I am a horribly mean person, let me make this disclaimer: I love my students. They know that I love them. HOWEVER, we spent 6 weeks on this paper, and I covered every detail repeatedly--so much so that I felt like a broken record. Before you judge me too harshly, remember that I have spent about 4.5 hours drudging through these things. I have graded 5 "A" papers that I was supremely pleased with... but onto the goods...

"The author's attitude, stated or implied, is toward the subject."

"The way Chaucer's style was, it was amazing."

"Wordsworth received a good grounding for this classic poem."

"The type of style that Coleridge used for this poem was strangeness and awkwardness."

"Romeo and Juliet were basically two lovers at first sight--they went threw a lot together."

"All through his life he wrote, wrote, and wrote."

"On the other hand man versus nature is like when a dog appears before all of the jailors and prisoners."

"There are really only 6 main characters: Quasimodo, the hunchback of Notre Dame."

"After reading the book, many realize that it is suspenseful."

"This British Literature Research focuses on a poem. The chosen poem was chose, because it seemed easy to research a simple poem."

"This poem has a nine point five rating."

Comment on which one of these strikes your particular interest, funny bone, gag reflex... Well, I'm back to some more happy readings...

The Agony of Research Papers...

Thank goodness for Spring Break! ...although I'll be spending much of mine grading research paper rough drafts. Grr...

Today was the deadline for my 93 seniors to turn in their rough drafts for their research papers. This rough draft counts as a major test grade as it is an integral part of the writing process and shows a month's worth of work. RIGHT! Guess how many of them actually turned in something? 56. So that means that 37 of them took a big fat zero for a test grade. Of the 56 papers that were turned in, only about half of them were complete. In fact, they were about the worst group of papers I have ever seen. Here are a couple of the worst, but funniest, ones:

(Don't know if this should make me laugh or cry or scream... So far it's made me laugh and explode into coughing fits.)

Example #1: As I'm perusing a girl's paper who I knew had not done squat for her research, I found a hilarious pattern of nonsense. For each time she used the pronoun "I" (which is extremely faux pas in formal writing), the computer inserted, "You are a pathetic loser" in her paper. I highlighted all of the times it was mentioned (12), and began showing my friends. We looked it up on Google for one of those spoof sites where you think you are cleverly stealing someone's essay, but there are all kinds of subliminal messages throughout the paper. No finds. Then we start hypothesizing, "Is she calling ME a pathetic loser?" or "Does she know that SHE is pathetic loser for not working harder on her paper?" (Picture me and my friends turning red in the face, doubled over, me coughing because we are laughing so hysterically.) Finally, the librarian shed some light that a computer has been malfunctioning, and it has been programmed to automatically insert this phrase. Honestly, I was kind of disappointed because I was looking forward to writing this girl an office referral. I can't wait to see the look on her face when I ask for an explanation. Proofread, what?

Example #2: OK, plagiarism at its worst: A student who skipped school today (Today is Senior Skip Day.) drops her paper off this afternoon because she has been "working on her paper all day." Right. However, I notice an interesting shading throughout her paper. Direct copy and paste from a website. She didn't even take the time to reformat it into something that looked like a paper. It was arial font, single spaced, no indentions, citations, works cited. I plugged it into Google and found the direct website. She'll receive a Zero and an interesting note from me.

These seniors are killing me. They will not do work to save their lives. I remember feeling the Senior Slide. In fact, after the research paper, I had planned on backing off somewhat. Now, it looks like I am going to have to keep giving them work and tests so they can bring their grades up to graduate. I tell you what!

I hope this brought you some laughs... I hope I keep laughing... P.S. And if you are one of my students who happens by this blog, DO YOUR RESEARCH PAPER!

Thank goodness for Spring Break! ...although I'll be spending much of mine grading research paper rough drafts. Grr...

Today was the deadline for my 93 seniors to turn in their rough drafts for their research papers. This rough draft counts as a major test grade as it is an integral part of the writing process and shows a month's worth of work. RIGHT! Guess how many of them actually turned in something? 56. So that means that 37 of them took a big fat zero for a test grade. Of the 56 papers that were turned in, only about half of them were complete. In fact, they were about the worst group of papers I have ever seen. Here are a couple of the worst, but funniest, ones:

(Don't know if this should make me laugh or cry or scream... So far it's made me laugh and explode into coughing fits.)

Example #1: As I'm perusing a girl's paper who I knew had not done squat for her research, I found a hilarious pattern of nonsense. For each time she used the pronoun "I" (which is extremely faux pas in formal writing), the computer inserted, "You are a pathetic loser" in her paper. I highlighted all of the times it was mentioned (12), and began showing my friends. We looked it up on Google for one of those spoof sites where you think you are cleverly stealing someone's essay, but there are all kinds of subliminal messages throughout the paper. No finds. Then we start hypothesizing, "Is she calling ME a pathetic loser?" or "Does she know that SHE is pathetic loser for not working harder on her paper?" (Picture me and my friends turning red in the face, doubled over, me coughing because we are laughing so hysterically.) Finally, the librarian shed some light that a computer has been malfunctioning, and it has been programmed to automatically insert this phrase. Honestly, I was kind of disappointed because I was looking forward to writing this girl an office referral. I can't wait to see the look on her face when I ask for an explanation. Proofread, what?

Example #2: OK, plagiarism at its worst: A student who skipped school today (Today is Senior Skip Day.) drops her paper off this afternoon because she has been "working on her paper all day." Right. However, I notice an interesting shading throughout her paper. Direct copy and paste from a website. She didn't even take the time to reformat it into something that looked like a paper. It was arial font, single spaced, no indentions, citations, works cited. I plugged it into Google and found the direct website. She'll receive a Zero and an interesting note from me.

These seniors are killing me. They will not do work to save their lives. I remember feeling the Senior Slide. In fact, after the research paper, I had planned on backing off somewhat. Now, it looks like I am going to have to keep giving them work and tests so they can bring their grades up to graduate. I tell you what!

I hope this brought you some laughs... I hope I keep laughing... P.S. And if you are one of my students who happens by this blog, DO YOUR RESEARCH PAPER!

My "Book Nook"

In my classroom I have an area with a bookshelf/magazine rack (the kind that you'd find in the back of Books-A-Million) filled with all sorts of books, magazines, comic books for my students to read (an idea that I got from my friend across the hall, Jen). I have a rug with a bean bag and floor pillow, a table with two chairs tucked away in a comfortable area of my room--all as an effort to create a mood that subtly encourages my students to WANT to read. (Some days this effort is met with more success than others.) Throughout my teaching career, I have frequented thrift stores, yard sales, and second-hand bookstores to find suitable books of interest for my diverse students. I have become addicted to "Young adult Literature," and I want to provide my students with the opportunity to read ANYTHING. Recently, I've noticed that my book supply is dwindling... We have a check out system similar to the library, but the popular books are being passed around so fast that I'm losing track. I never know whether to be frustrated by my disappearing books or kind of excited that my kids are actually reading them and wanting them.

If you happen to have any extra books lying around, stashed away in trunks or attics, please consider donating them to Lee High School, room 107 (my classroom). Here is a small sampling of my wish list as well as another great place to look for book reviews. Let me know if you are interested! Thanks for the support.

In my classroom I have an area with a bookshelf/magazine rack (the kind that you'd find in the back of Books-A-Million) filled with all sorts of books, magazines, comic books for my students to read (an idea that I got from my friend across the hall, Jen). I have a rug with a bean bag and floor pillow, a table with two chairs tucked away in a comfortable area of my room--all as an effort to create a mood that subtly encourages my students to WANT to read. (Some days this effort is met with more success than others.) Throughout my teaching career, I have frequented thrift stores, yard sales, and second-hand bookstores to find suitable books of interest for my diverse students. I have become addicted to "Young adult Literature," and I want to provide my students with the opportunity to read ANYTHING. Recently, I've noticed that my book supply is dwindling... We have a check out system similar to the library, but the popular books are being passed around so fast that I'm losing track. I never know whether to be frustrated by my disappearing books or kind of excited that my kids are actually reading them and wanting them.

If you happen to have any extra books lying around, stashed away in trunks or attics, please consider donating them to Lee High School, room 107 (my classroom). Here is a small sampling of my wish list as well as another great place to look for book reviews. Let me know if you are interested! Thanks for the support.

The First Part Last

Well, after a long hiatus, I have decided to rejoin (if I ever did officially join) the blogging culture. In making a website for my classes at school, I came back to this one, and decided I needed something like this... I don't know if anyone will read it. I don't know if I want anyone to, but here's another shot at it.

Some things I have been thinking about lately:

1. My job. I am a teacher at a semi-inner city school in Montgomery. My first semester was difficult in many ways, but it was also the "honeymoon" phase of teaching... Where I was under a grace period with my administrators, where I was being introduced into the interesting, funny, uniques things that go along with this sort of an urban culture, where I came home with hilarious stories of things that my students would say and do. Well, that period is over. Reality has struck with a vengeance. Many days I feel helpless. I have an interesting mix of students--some of them are brilliant, with dreams and aspirations + the determination to make "it" happen. Unfortunately, those are few and far between. Most of my students do not care about learning; they are looking for a free ride, a free ticket out of high school, and many of them will not earn that ticket via graduation. I can spend hours preparing for a lesson that I believe will be both fun and beneficial, and my students will groan and say, "Mrs. Crawford, can we have a free day? You always make us do so much work." Talk about deflation. I refuse to give up hope that I can make a difference though. There has to be a way to motivate them. If I ever do give up, then I need to consider changing jobs or something. So, right now I am looking for ways to get in my students' minds...

2. T.V. Since I began teaching, I have never been more tired, and I have never enjoyed coming home and engaging in some mindless entertainment more! Let me tell you about what I believe to be the 3 top shows on T.V. right now. 1)24. If you haven't seen it, go to Blockbuster and rent the 1st Season. It will blow your mind. I cannot believe the geniuses who can create such a nailbiting show week in and week out. If you check out the whole season, be prepared to get lost in the abyss. 2) Lost. There is so much depth to this show, and with the way that it is set up, the creators can go anywhere with it. There is some incredible religious symbolism, and each character is intertwined in pre-island life with another one. It has an all-star cast with familiar faces, and even if you pick up mid-season, you can catch up in no time. 3) Grey's Anatomy. It's like Felicity meets medical residency. I like this show because you can be hilariously laughing one minute and crying the next. I must also mention several honorable mentions: Smallville. This is Patrick's favorite, and I must admit I'm hooked too. Who wouldn't fall for Superman in pre-Metropolis days. It also hints at some religious ideas as well. My Name is Earl. Mindless blue collar comedy at its best. And, lastly, the Bachelor. Mainly because he's a Nashville doctor, and I'm rooting for the Nashville girl. Tune in Monday night for the season finale!

3. Marriage. It has been over 4 months, and it seems like yesterday. It baffles me how two individuals, both strong in their individuality and independence, can form into one unit so easily and even effortlessly. (I sure thought I'd be hanging onto my independence more than I have. :)) Sure it's not perfect, and some days we have to work harder than others, but the hard work makes it that much better. I can't imagine what it will be like after 4 or 40 years. God and his perfect plans...

Well, after a long hiatus, I have decided to rejoin (if I ever did officially join) the blogging culture. In making a website for my classes at school, I came back to this one, and decided I needed something like this... I don't know if anyone will read it. I don't know if I want anyone to, but here's another shot at it.

Some things I have been thinking about lately:

1. My job. I am a teacher at a semi-inner city school in Montgomery. My first semester was difficult in many ways, but it was also the "honeymoon" phase of teaching... Where I was under a grace period with my administrators, where I was being introduced into the interesting, funny, uniques things that go along with this sort of an urban culture, where I came home with hilarious stories of things that my students would say and do. Well, that period is over. Reality has struck with a vengeance. Many days I feel helpless. I have an interesting mix of students--some of them are brilliant, with dreams and aspirations + the determination to make "it" happen. Unfortunately, those are few and far between. Most of my students do not care about learning; they are looking for a free ride, a free ticket out of high school, and many of them will not earn that ticket via graduation. I can spend hours preparing for a lesson that I believe will be both fun and beneficial, and my students will groan and say, "Mrs. Crawford, can we have a free day? You always make us do so much work." Talk about deflation. I refuse to give up hope that I can make a difference though. There has to be a way to motivate them. If I ever do give up, then I need to consider changing jobs or something. So, right now I am looking for ways to get in my students' minds...

2. T.V. Since I began teaching, I have never been more tired, and I have never enjoyed coming home and engaging in some mindless entertainment more! Let me tell you about what I believe to be the 3 top shows on T.V. right now. 1)24. If you haven't seen it, go to Blockbuster and rent the 1st Season. It will blow your mind. I cannot believe the geniuses who can create such a nailbiting show week in and week out. If you check out the whole season, be prepared to get lost in the abyss. 2) Lost. There is so much depth to this show, and with the way that it is set up, the creators can go anywhere with it. There is some incredible religious symbolism, and each character is intertwined in pre-island life with another one. It has an all-star cast with familiar faces, and even if you pick up mid-season, you can catch up in no time. 3) Grey's Anatomy. It's like Felicity meets medical residency. I like this show because you can be hilariously laughing one minute and crying the next. I must also mention several honorable mentions: Smallville. This is Patrick's favorite, and I must admit I'm hooked too. Who wouldn't fall for Superman in pre-Metropolis days. It also hints at some religious ideas as well. My Name is Earl. Mindless blue collar comedy at its best. And, lastly, the Bachelor. Mainly because he's a Nashville doctor, and I'm rooting for the Nashville girl. Tune in Monday night for the season finale!

3. Marriage. It has been over 4 months, and it seems like yesterday. It baffles me how two individuals, both strong in their individuality and independence, can form into one unit so easily and even effortlessly. (I sure thought I'd be hanging onto my independence more than I have. :)) Sure it's not perfect, and some days we have to work harder than others, but the hard work makes it that much better. I can't imagine what it will be like after 4 or 40 years. God and his perfect plans...