Tuesday, April 18, 2006

You GOTTA to be kidding me!

So, today I finally bit the bullet and began grading my stack of research papers. I am averaging about 15 minutes per paper, and I have graded 18 of the 85 that were turned in. (Sadly, I have 91 seniors, and not turning in a research paper usually equals not graduating since the paper carries such a heavy weight.) Some of those 15 minutes have been pretty grueling, so I have been trying to keep some humor running throughout the process. I have been jotting down the ludicrous, hilarious, pitiful, bogus things that my students have been writing, and I thought I would share some of the best ones with you.

Now, before you think I am a horribly mean person, let me make this disclaimer: I love my students. They know that I love them. HOWEVER, we spent 6 weeks on this paper, and I covered every detail repeatedly--so much so that I felt like a broken record. Before you judge me too harshly, remember that I have spent about 4.5 hours drudging through these things. I have graded 5 "A" papers that I was supremely pleased with... but onto the goods...

"The author's attitude, stated or implied, is toward the subject."

"The way Chaucer's style was, it was amazing."

"Wordsworth received a good grounding for this classic poem."

"The type of style that Coleridge used for this poem was strangeness and awkwardness."

"Romeo and Juliet were basically two lovers at first sight--they went threw a lot together."

"All through his life he wrote, wrote, and wrote."

"On the other hand man versus nature is like when a dog appears before all of the jailors and prisoners."

"There are really only 6 main characters: Quasimodo, the hunchback of Notre Dame."

"After reading the book, many realize that it is suspenseful."

"This British Literature Research focuses on a poem. The chosen poem was chose, because it seemed easy to research a simple poem."

"This poem has a nine point five rating."

Comment on which one of these strikes your particular interest, funny bone, gag reflex... Well, I'm back to some more happy readings...



9 comments:

Cary said...

On the other hand man versus nature is like when a dog appears before all of the jailors and prisoners.

You have Jack Handy as a student???

"Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition."

Jen said...

I like the dog one too. :)

LeslieJerkins said...

strangeness and awkwardness

JesseFaris said...

"This British Literature Research focuses on a poem. The chosen poem was chose, because it seemed easy to research a simple poem."


This one makes me wince.

At least he/she is honest!

Patrick said...

"This poem has a nine point five rating."

Wow, that must be a really good peom! I should read it.

**CARRIE** said...

I love this one:
"All through his life he wrote, wrote, and wrote."
Bwahahahaha....

Wow, Kristy...I love you.
You are a wonderful teacher and a GREAT, SPECIAL, PATIENT, POSITIVE person.

POST SOME MORE!!!!!

Supabloggasuprememama said...

ohhh wow, kristy. wow. thats all I can say ....

lindsay meek said...

They are all too bad to just pick one. I don't know how you do it! Good luck with the rest and keep us updated with more funny comments! Have a wonderful weekend.

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