Disclaimer: ranting ahead...
There are several things that are pet peeves of mine about wedding/social etiquette:
1. Not RSVP-ing to weddings, showers, birthday parties, dinners, etc. This especially bothers me when someone shows up that did not RSVP. It is a simple common courtesy to let a host/hostess know whether you can attend the specified event so that they can plan accordingly. I have not always been the best at this, but after showers I have hosted and our wedding, I have vowed to pay that respect.
2. Not sending a gift after receiving an invitation. It's just rude and lazy.
3. Not sending a thank you note. This is probably my biggest pet peeve and current rant. While numbers 1-2 can be frustrating social faux pas, not sending a thank you note is simply unacceptable. Don't you think? Both Emily Post and Amy Vanderbilt agree that thank you notes for wedding gifts should be sent within 6-8 weeks after a wedding. They even suggest that for gifts received prior to a wedding, one should send a thank you within 2-3 weeks. I will even go as far to say, though, that a thank you note is always better late than never.
Many people get overwhelmed at writing thank you notes because they want to make them personal. I definitely appreciate a note that makes me feel special and my gift valued over a generic "blah" note; however, the overwhelming feeling is not an excuse to not write a note. And if it does take you (*someone*) over a year to write your thank you's, please make your note dang good. A once close friend sent her thank you note 10 months after her wedding, and it was so impersonal, you would think we hadn't even known each other.
One of the last mini-lessons that I shared with my seniors this year was the "how-to's" of writing a thank you note. I emphasized to them that graduation gifts that go unthanked will not lead to future gifts for college graduation, weddings, babies, etc. We talked about 1) acknowledging the gift; 2) its use; 3) and the hope for a future meeting with the giver. It's that simple.
I realized today that 5 out of the last 8 wedding/baby gifts that I have given (some to friends and others to aquaintances) have gone unthanked. This is problematic to me for a couple of reasons:
1. Did they get my gift? Some were sent in the mail, and what if they got lost? I even asked one of the girls over Christmas if she did, indeed, receive the gift... She did. Still no thank you.
2. Is thank you note writing a lost art? I hope not...
3. Do people in general appreciate others' generosity? I hope so...
I think I am going to write a thank you note to a friend for her personal, appreciative thank you note... sigh.