Blue Light Special

On a cool fall night, sitting outside listening to the crackling sparks of the fire, waiting for the perfect moment when the soft center of the marshmallow oozes out of the crusted, partially burnt shell to form the ideal s'more, laughing with old-turned-new friends and enjoying a comfortable comraderie, we all thought the evening couldn't get any better... when, suddenly, "splash!" All of us quickly turned and peered through the back property tree line, branches now bare with the fall leaves having abandoned them, their once protective shield now gone. Patrick looked at me with utter disgust paired with disbelief, his low, guttural words muttering, "They got a hot tub."

This pivotal moment in our "neighbors'" (We won't fully acknowledge them as our neighbors because, actually, they live in a different subdivision.) lives has made an overwhelming impact on ours as well. Now, as we gaze out of our back window while sipping our morning coffee and reading the daily paper, it is not uncommon to see two bodies wrapped together in an oversized Dale Earnhardt Junior towel, still dripping from their morning sauna. I come home from work to find my once luminous kitchen and living room now darkened with all of my shades completely lowered--a result of Patrick coming home for lunch and "not being able to take it anymore." Patrick and I will be cooking dinner, engaging in pleasant conversation, when I notice that he is looking past me, shocked by the latest public display of affection (i.e. wild make out sessions) on the back porch.

Our dismay with our surrounding patrons began several weeks after we moved in to what we thought to be "suburban bliss." We thought our biggest obstacles would be the "yard snob" whose perfectly manicured yards and upturned noses at our few weeds would shame us with chagrin, the stereotypical Williamson County moms who hogged the pool with their loud children, surgically enhanced figures, and "desperate housewife-isms," the hoity-toity BMW/Benz drivers who thought the neighborhood streets were theirs alone--we were fully prepared and excited about leaving the "thug life" that our neighborhood in Alabama was quickly becoming to assuage these safer, lesser obstacles.

It all started with a hamburger bun. We take Maggie out the back to do her doggie business. One day she wanted to explore further and further in the backyard, when I noticed an odd shape. I thought to myself, "I've never seen such a big mushroom! Gross!" Only, it wasn't a mushroom, but a hamburger bun. Patrick and I discussed it that evening--how would a hamburger bun wind up in our backyard? For the next week, on several different occasions, we found additional buns--the conundrum continuing to baffle us. A couple of nights later, Patrick ran to the bedroom whispering, "He's grilling! Let's see what he does with those buns." I quietly complied (unusual for me), and sure enough, moments after our spying session began, we witnessed him toss a bun into our yard. We shouted, "What is he doing? Why would he do that?"

During the summer we grill out and eat outside often, so, determined that our passive-aggressive neighbors would not deter our pleasure, we began to eat out there even more often. After our initial fiery anger subsided, we decided the best tactic would be to "kill them with kindness." We started attempting small talk while doing yard work, grilling, and taking Maggie out. The hamburger buns quit appearing in our yard. We though to ourselves, "Well done!"

Then, they got a hot tub.

Now, it's blue Christmas lights. All over. Beaming into our kitchen. Our blinds perpetually closed.

On a cool fall night, sitting outside listening to the crackling sparks of the fire, waiting for the perfect moment when the soft center of the marshmallow oozes out of the crusted, partially burnt shell to form the ideal s'more, laughing with old-turned-new friends and enjoying a comfortable comraderie, we all thought the evening couldn't get any better... when, suddenly, "splash!" All of us quickly turned and peered through the back property tree line, branches now bare with the fall leaves having abandoned them, their once protective shield now gone. Patrick looked at me with utter disgust paired with disbelief, his low, guttural words muttering, "They got a hot tub."

This pivotal moment in our "neighbors'" (We won't fully acknowledge them as our neighbors because, actually, they live in a different subdivision.) lives has made an overwhelming impact on ours as well. Now, as we gaze out of our back window while sipping our morning coffee and reading the daily paper, it is not uncommon to see two bodies wrapped together in an oversized Dale Earnhardt Junior towel, still dripping from their morning sauna. I come home from work to find my once luminous kitchen and living room now darkened with all of my shades completely lowered--a result of Patrick coming home for lunch and "not being able to take it anymore." Patrick and I will be cooking dinner, engaging in pleasant conversation, when I notice that he is looking past me, shocked by the latest public display of affection (i.e. wild make out sessions) on the back porch.

Our dismay with our surrounding patrons began several weeks after we moved in to what we thought to be "suburban bliss." We thought our biggest obstacles would be the "yard snob" whose perfectly manicured yards and upturned noses at our few weeds would shame us with chagrin, the stereotypical Williamson County moms who hogged the pool with their loud children, surgically enhanced figures, and "desperate housewife-isms," the hoity-toity BMW/Benz drivers who thought the neighborhood streets were theirs alone--we were fully prepared and excited about leaving the "thug life" that our neighborhood in Alabama was quickly becoming to assuage these safer, lesser obstacles.

It all started with a hamburger bun. We take Maggie out the back to do her doggie business. One day she wanted to explore further and further in the backyard, when I noticed an odd shape. I thought to myself, "I've never seen such a big mushroom! Gross!" Only, it wasn't a mushroom, but a hamburger bun. Patrick and I discussed it that evening--how would a hamburger bun wind up in our backyard? For the next week, on several different occasions, we found additional buns--the conundrum continuing to baffle us. A couple of nights later, Patrick ran to the bedroom whispering, "He's grilling! Let's see what he does with those buns." I quietly complied (unusual for me), and sure enough, moments after our spying session began, we witnessed him toss a bun into our yard. We shouted, "What is he doing? Why would he do that?"

During the summer we grill out and eat outside often, so, determined that our passive-aggressive neighbors would not deter our pleasure, we began to eat out there even more often. After our initial fiery anger subsided, we decided the best tactic would be to "kill them with kindness." We started attempting small talk while doing yard work, grilling, and taking Maggie out. The hamburger buns quit appearing in our yard. We though to ourselves, "Well done!"

Then, they got a hot tub.

Now, it's blue Christmas lights. All over. Beaming into our kitchen. Our blinds perpetually closed.

State Bound

The Independence High School Eagles have made it to the state championship in class 5-A football. Tomorrow they travel to MTSU to face reigning champs, Smyrna. One of my favorite students is pictured above, #7, Alex Heckman. A sophomore, he began the season as 3rd-string quarterback, and he has emerged as a team leader and major factor in IHS's success. My favorite thing about Alex is his humilty. In every interview he has been level-headed, realistic, and unassuming. He gives all the credit to the seniors and his teammates, and he is having the time of his life. Alex is also a 4.0 student and one of my best writers in my Honors English class, a bright spot in my day for sure. I love stories like this one, and you can read more in this article. Root for the Indy Eagles tomorrow! And I'll also be cheering for my alma mater in the 3-A championship. Go Mustangs!

The Independence High School Eagles have made it to the state championship in class 5-A football. Tomorrow they travel to MTSU to face reigning champs, Smyrna. One of my favorite students is pictured above, #7, Alex Heckman. A sophomore, he began the season as 3rd-string quarterback, and he has emerged as a team leader and major factor in IHS's success. My favorite thing about Alex is his humilty. In every interview he has been level-headed, realistic, and unassuming. He gives all the credit to the seniors and his teammates, and he is having the time of his life. Alex is also a 4.0 student and one of my best writers in my Honors English class, a bright spot in my day for sure. I love stories like this one, and you can read more in this article. Root for the Indy Eagles tomorrow! And I'll also be cheering for my alma mater in the 3-A championship. Go Mustangs!

In need of inspiration...

I just ordered these books off Amazon. I'm desperate for some inspiration.

After school today I went to have an adult conversation with my old/new friend Micah. Our reconnection has been a saving grace and a challenge to tap into some of my presently ignored passions. She recently participated in a symposium at Belmont where she was able to share some of her fiction. She met several interested parties with connections to the publishing world. It has been a rare, inspiring experience for her as well as me as we are reminded that there are infinite possibilities out there.

Public education is somewhat different than I expected. While my former environment left me with no delusions of grandeur, I had higher expectations of this acclaimed (perhaps self-proclaimed) district. I imagined my experiences in the "ghetto" as being the exception to the rule. I am finding that perhaps *it* is the rule. What I imagined to be the profession that would breathe life through me is, at times, sucking the life out of me.

Is this sort of teaching my calling? While I truly desire to inspire lifelong learning and connect that knowledge with my passion for human beings, instead, I am constantly correcting behavior and either dealing with students who have no passion, no desire, no interest... or those who want to incite and antagonize, while therefore sabotaging my lessons. So many of these American teenagers display ego-centric, entitled attitudes, and many educators further encourage those attitudes by coddling them through their academia. How can we truly be preparing them for the "real world" without also teaching responsibility and accountability? Even more troubling is the question of what the "real world" will look like when they enter it.

All is not at a loss; there are redeeming moments. There are students who I feel such a connection with, I know they are part of my purpose. I know that they function as my "meaning." Are they enough to keep my inspiration alive? They have to be for now.

I just ordered these books off Amazon. I'm desperate for some inspiration.

After school today I went to have an adult conversation with my old/new friend Micah. Our reconnection has been a saving grace and a challenge to tap into some of my presently ignored passions. She recently participated in a symposium at Belmont where she was able to share some of her fiction. She met several interested parties with connections to the publishing world. It has been a rare, inspiring experience for her as well as me as we are reminded that there are infinite possibilities out there.

Public education is somewhat different than I expected. While my former environment left me with no delusions of grandeur, I had higher expectations of this acclaimed (perhaps self-proclaimed) district. I imagined my experiences in the "ghetto" as being the exception to the rule. I am finding that perhaps *it* is the rule. What I imagined to be the profession that would breathe life through me is, at times, sucking the life out of me.

Is this sort of teaching my calling? While I truly desire to inspire lifelong learning and connect that knowledge with my passion for human beings, instead, I am constantly correcting behavior and either dealing with students who have no passion, no desire, no interest... or those who want to incite and antagonize, while therefore sabotaging my lessons. So many of these American teenagers display ego-centric, entitled attitudes, and many educators further encourage those attitudes by coddling them through their academia. How can we truly be preparing them for the "real world" without also teaching responsibility and accountability? Even more troubling is the question of what the "real world" will look like when they enter it.

All is not at a loss; there are redeeming moments. There are students who I feel such a connection with, I know they are part of my purpose. I know that they function as my "meaning." Are they enough to keep my inspiration alive? They have to be for now.

Savannah Michelle Meek

Savannah Michelle was born Thursday, November 8, to proud parents, Lindsay and Daniel. She came into this world at 5:04 p.m. weighing 7 pounds and 8.5 ounces. She is 18.5 inches long. She is absolutely precious and has captured the hearts of all of her family. The Meeks went home Sunday and are recovering well. I am such a proud aunt and am in love with my new little best friend!!!

Savannah Michelle was born Thursday, November 8, to proud parents, Lindsay and Daniel. She came into this world at 5:04 p.m. weighing 7 pounds and 8.5 ounces. She is 18.5 inches long. She is absolutely precious and has captured the hearts of all of her family. The Meeks went home Sunday and are recovering well. I am such a proud aunt and am in love with my new little best friend!!!

Unexplainable Sadness...

"God is on our side; He will see us through." These sweet, poignant words came from Katelyn's mouth moments after she learned of the tragic loss of her mother in a house fire early Thursday morning. Such faithful words by a young Christian, wise and mature beyond her years.

Jordan and Katelyn Creel are two of the teens from the Landmark Youth Group who we love and miss the most. They were a huge part of Patrick's life during his years as youth minister there, and he feels like they are his younger brother and sister. We traveled to Montgomery this weekend to spend time with them and mourn their sad loss.

Please pray for this sweet family and read this touching article about Jordan.

"God is on our side; He will see us through." These sweet, poignant words came from Katelyn's mouth moments after she learned of the tragic loss of her mother in a house fire early Thursday morning. Such faithful words by a young Christian, wise and mature beyond her years.

Jordan and Katelyn Creel are two of the teens from the Landmark Youth Group who we love and miss the most. They were a huge part of Patrick's life during his years as youth minister there, and he feels like they are his younger brother and sister. We traveled to Montgomery this weekend to spend time with them and mourn their sad loss.

Please pray for this sweet family and read this touching article about Jordan.

About Time

So... I'm not much of a blogger anymore, and I'm sure that even my few faithful readers have given up on me at this point, but I thought it was time for an update.

I have completed the first quarter of my teaching this year, and am celebrating Fall Break in full force. I have desperately needed a break to get rejuvenated and have some fun! Patrick and I are also anticipating our 2nd wedding anniversary this Sunday. We just got back from Washington D.C. as our celebration last night and had a wonderful time. We both visited the city as young teenagers, but it opened our realm of experience to view the nation's capital through adult eyes. We enjoyed all the monuments and museums, and my favorite events included the Holocaust Museum (especially since I taught Night this quarter), Georgetown, and the National Cathedral. Thanks to April S. and Kris G.C. for the wonderfully fabulous recommendation for D.C. Coast, a restaurant that Patrick and I easily dubbed the best dining experience of our marriage thus far.

Our other highlights of the fall include preparing for Lindsay and Daniel's Savannah Michelle, the Parade of Homes, working on our home (entries and pictures to come--hopefully), and celebrating Lori and Clay's upcoming wedding!

So... I'm not much of a blogger anymore, and I'm sure that even my few faithful readers have given up on me at this point, but I thought it was time for an update.

I have completed the first quarter of my teaching this year, and am celebrating Fall Break in full force. I have desperately needed a break to get rejuvenated and have some fun! Patrick and I are also anticipating our 2nd wedding anniversary this Sunday. We just got back from Washington D.C. as our celebration last night and had a wonderful time. We both visited the city as young teenagers, but it opened our realm of experience to view the nation's capital through adult eyes. We enjoyed all the monuments and museums, and my favorite events included the Holocaust Museum (especially since I taught Night this quarter), Georgetown, and the National Cathedral. Thanks to April S. and Kris G.C. for the wonderfully fabulous recommendation for D.C. Coast, a restaurant that Patrick and I easily dubbed the best dining experience of our marriage thus far.

Our other highlights of the fall include preparing for Lindsay and Daniel's Savannah Michelle, the Parade of Homes, working on our home (entries and pictures to come--hopefully), and celebrating Lori and Clay's upcoming wedding!

It ain't over 'til it's over...

BUT tomorrow it is...

Today is my official last day of summer. Sadly, I will spend the day cleaning and preparing for tomorrow. I need to finish Night and The Kite Runner and research some teaching ideas. I also am looking for some world lit short stories for the beginning of the semester...

How I'd like to be spending my day... with a manicure/pedicure, shopping excursion with no budget but within reason, lunch with a friend at a chic locale, and a moonlight swim...

Oh well--there's always next summer!

BUT tomorrow it is...

Today is my official last day of summer. Sadly, I will spend the day cleaning and preparing for tomorrow. I need to finish Night and The Kite Runner and research some teaching ideas. I also am looking for some world lit short stories for the beginning of the semester...

How I'd like to be spending my day... with a manicure/pedicure, shopping excursion with no budget but within reason, lunch with a friend at a chic locale, and a moonlight swim...

Oh well--there's always next summer!

Saw this... and went WHOA!

I checked Facebook a couple of minutes ago, and a former student of mine had this picture of a classmate as her profile picture. Her caption read, "Oh my gosh! What was she thinking?!? Free ________!"

So... I played this little game that my friend Jen and I sometimes play called, "Guess which student is in jail NOW?" It's pathetically sad that there is some such game, but it's our reality. I always find AT LEAST one student or former student...

I am SHOCKED about this one though.

I checked Facebook a couple of minutes ago, and a former student of mine had this picture of a classmate as her profile picture. Her caption read, "Oh my gosh! What was she thinking?!? Free ________!"

So... I played this little game that my friend Jen and I sometimes play called, "Guess which student is in jail NOW?" It's pathetically sad that there is some such game, but it's our reality. I always find AT LEAST one student or former student...

I am SHOCKED about this one though.

Full circle

Last night was the soiree to celebrate being high school grads for 10 years. It was a blast, and I think I was able to achieve my personal goal of speaking to everyone in my class--minus a couple that I unfortunately just never made it around to. I love my old friends--and their husbands/wives, and it is always fun to get together with them, but we jokingly said that we have reunions a few times a year.

It was especially fun to reconnect with people that I hadn't seen in forever and find out how life has been treating them. Most everyone looked the same or better than they did 10 years ago--and isn't that a good thing!?!

But you know what I laughingly thought about and shared with a friend who was not there since she's living in a different country...? As much fun as I had...and as glad as I am that I went, it was basically the same crap on a different day. I would elaborate, but the mantra really suffices. Profound, I know...

Last night was the soiree to celebrate being high school grads for 10 years. It was a blast, and I think I was able to achieve my personal goal of speaking to everyone in my class--minus a couple that I unfortunately just never made it around to. I love my old friends--and their husbands/wives, and it is always fun to get together with them, but we jokingly said that we have reunions a few times a year.

It was especially fun to reconnect with people that I hadn't seen in forever and find out how life has been treating them. Most everyone looked the same or better than they did 10 years ago--and isn't that a good thing!?!

But you know what I laughingly thought about and shared with a friend who was not there since she's living in a different country...? As much fun as I had...and as glad as I am that I went, it was basically the same crap on a different day. I would elaborate, but the mantra really suffices. Profound, I know...

Dressy Casual

These were the words used to describe appropriate attire for my reunion tomorrow night. Isn't that some sort of oxymoron? The venue is a nice Golf club. The time is 6:30. The agenda is dinner, DJ, reminiscing... What would you wear? What does "dressy casual" mean in term of your wardrobe? Do you go classic or trendy? How do you achieve the effortless grace that one would hope to emanate for such an occasion? HA! Seriously, this has slipped up on me. When you really don't care and time has run out, how do you pull off an acceptable look? What would/did you wear?

These were the words used to describe appropriate attire for my reunion tomorrow night. Isn't that some sort of oxymoron? The venue is a nice Golf club. The time is 6:30. The agenda is dinner, DJ, reminiscing... What would you wear? What does "dressy casual" mean in term of your wardrobe? Do you go classic or trendy? How do you achieve the effortless grace that one would hope to emanate for such an occasion? HA! Seriously, this has slipped up on me. When you really don't care and time has run out, how do you pull off an acceptable look? What would/did you wear?

Grammar Nazism

I can always tell that school is about to start when I subconsciously slip back into Grammar Nazi mode...

Current Frustrations:

1. colons after verbs
2. definately

What things irk you to the point of nervous tics?

*Disclaimer: Being said Grammar Nazi doesn't exclude me from mistakes of my own that when caught cause the doubly intense tic.*

I can always tell that school is about to start when I subconsciously slip back into Grammar Nazi mode...

Current Frustrations:

1. colons after verbs
2. definately

What things irk you to the point of nervous tics?

*Disclaimer: Being said Grammar Nazi doesn't exclude me from mistakes of my own that when caught cause the doubly intense tic.*

Lackluster of a Losing Lohan

She's already done it again! Seriously, Lindsay!

Don't you just wish she was still as cute, sweet, and wholesome as she was here:

Oh, for the love of those Parent Trap days???

This is just another incident that reaffirms the moral filth of young Hollywood. It makes me so sad to see what these young girls are doing to themselves. It also makes me sad that our young teens are trying to look, dress, and party like these girls.

Friday night, while I was at my Harry Potter Release Party (te-he), I was perusing the shelves of Young Adult literature at Borders. During the past couple of years, I have learned how invaluable it is to know about and read what other teens are reading--to incorporate it in my classes, help a kid find a love for reading, and satisfy my curiosity about what's out there. I investigated the Gossip Girl series and skimmed/speed read through the first book. Ashamedly, I was hooked. The writing is enticing, suspenseful, and just awful--enough so to keep you turning page after page. I don't think I'm old-fogey enough or quite far-removed enough to think that high school is actually like that, but, man! These kids were border-line alcoholics, drug users, and very sexually active. While I enjoyed satisfying my curiosity and have looser opinions on censoring, I would NOT want a teenage daughter of mine to be influenced by this type of literature...

Teens today are growing up in a much different world than we were not so many years ago!

I'm afraid that one of these Hollywood "It" girls is going to bite the dust sooner or later! (who are you betting on? J/K) Seriously, though, isn't that sad to think about? Do you think it will take something like that to make *us* wake up? Do you worry about raising teenagers in our world today?

She's already done it again! Seriously, Lindsay!

Don't you just wish she was still as cute, sweet, and wholesome as she was here:

Oh, for the love of those Parent Trap days???

This is just another incident that reaffirms the moral filth of young Hollywood. It makes me so sad to see what these young girls are doing to themselves. It also makes me sad that our young teens are trying to look, dress, and party like these girls.

Friday night, while I was at my Harry Potter Release Party (te-he), I was perusing the shelves of Young Adult literature at Borders. During the past couple of years, I have learned how invaluable it is to know about and read what other teens are reading--to incorporate it in my classes, help a kid find a love for reading, and satisfy my curiosity about what's out there. I investigated the Gossip Girl series and skimmed/speed read through the first book. Ashamedly, I was hooked. The writing is enticing, suspenseful, and just awful--enough so to keep you turning page after page. I don't think I'm old-fogey enough or quite far-removed enough to think that high school is actually like that, but, man! These kids were border-line alcoholics, drug users, and very sexually active. While I enjoyed satisfying my curiosity and have looser opinions on censoring, I would NOT want a teenage daughter of mine to be influenced by this type of literature...

Teens today are growing up in a much different world than we were not so many years ago!

I'm afraid that one of these Hollywood "It" girls is going to bite the dust sooner or later! (who are you betting on? J/K) Seriously, though, isn't that sad to think about? Do you think it will take something like that to make *us* wake up? Do you worry about raising teenagers in our world today?

Church hunting

For the first time in either of our lives, Patrick and I are searching for a new church home. We grew up going to church with our parents, followed by attending church in our respective college towns, and then spent a combined 7 years in church employment. Now we have moved to a new/old town, and we must choose a place of community worship.

We thought this would be a fun, engaging, investigative process. While some of these elements have existed, it has proved a more daunting quest than we had anticipated. It's hard.

One reason it is hard is because we are programmed through our years in ministry to look for and notice certain things. Because we have sometimes known too much about the behind the scenes stuff, we are analyzing and questioning motives, agendas, and wondering about each church's "end game." We're not removed enough to really buy into much. In moments where we catch ourselves doing these things, we are embarrassed at how cynical we must have become, and we wonder if we need some more time to de-funk.

Another reason it is hard is because if we were to write down a list of what we were looking for in a church, it would include all of the things that we LOVED about our former church(es) and be the complete antithesis of the things that we LOATHED about these same churches. Are we ridiculous to believe that some such church exists? Ummm, yeah!

We are trying to readjust and relearn how God has gifted us and think through how we might use those gifts in a new place. Would we help with the youth ministry, inner city ministry, college ministry, Hispanic ministry, all of the above? In the churches that we are considering, are there such ministries in place, or would we have the passion, resolve, healing, and strength to begin one of these groups?

We are sorely missing our Lifegroup--which we essentially considered our "church." While special, new, fresh relationships are certainly exciting to think about, we know that we will not (nor do we desire to) replicate those special relationships formed from our "house church" in Montgomery.

So, our status at this point: We have visited 6 different churches. 6 Sundays=6 churches... It is really hard to wake up every Sunday morning and go to a different place. Yesterday we took an indigestion-induced break and just sort of regrouped. We have decided to pick one and visit it for about a month--try a Sunday school class, visit a small group, investigate ministries, talk with elders, still fly under the radar a bit, and then see if it is a good fit for us...

We are thankful for this time period because we know that God has strengthened our individual and combined relationships with him, and it has also reminded us and reignited in us a desire to be a part of a community of believers. We'll see where the journey takes us.

For the first time in either of our lives, Patrick and I are searching for a new church home. We grew up going to church with our parents, followed by attending church in our respective college towns, and then spent a combined 7 years in church employment. Now we have moved to a new/old town, and we must choose a place of community worship.

We thought this would be a fun, engaging, investigative process. While some of these elements have existed, it has proved a more daunting quest than we had anticipated. It's hard.

One reason it is hard is because we are programmed through our years in ministry to look for and notice certain things. Because we have sometimes known too much about the behind the scenes stuff, we are analyzing and questioning motives, agendas, and wondering about each church's "end game." We're not removed enough to really buy into much. In moments where we catch ourselves doing these things, we are embarrassed at how cynical we must have become, and we wonder if we need some more time to de-funk.

Another reason it is hard is because if we were to write down a list of what we were looking for in a church, it would include all of the things that we LOVED about our former church(es) and be the complete antithesis of the things that we LOATHED about these same churches. Are we ridiculous to believe that some such church exists? Ummm, yeah!

We are trying to readjust and relearn how God has gifted us and think through how we might use those gifts in a new place. Would we help with the youth ministry, inner city ministry, college ministry, Hispanic ministry, all of the above? In the churches that we are considering, are there such ministries in place, or would we have the passion, resolve, healing, and strength to begin one of these groups?

We are sorely missing our Lifegroup--which we essentially considered our "church." While special, new, fresh relationships are certainly exciting to think about, we know that we will not (nor do we desire to) replicate those special relationships formed from our "house church" in Montgomery.

So, our status at this point: We have visited 6 different churches. 6 Sundays=6 churches... It is really hard to wake up every Sunday morning and go to a different place. Yesterday we took an indigestion-induced break and just sort of regrouped. We have decided to pick one and visit it for about a month--try a Sunday school class, visit a small group, investigate ministries, talk with elders, still fly under the radar a bit, and then see if it is a good fit for us...

We are thankful for this time period because we know that God has strengthened our individual and combined relationships with him, and it has also reminded us and reignited in us a desire to be a part of a community of believers. We'll see where the journey takes us.

Unfortunate Truths

Don't you just hate it when...

1.

2. "crisis dust" seems to be sprinkled around friends and family from every angle and you can't understand the logic, reason, or pattern...

3. you waste time without realizing it, and you have the harsh realization that you can't get that time back...

4.

5. you hear bad news about marriages...

6. you can be dressed cute and feel "put together" and then be around someone who in their precious petiteness, or intellectual vocabulary, or calm confidence can make you feel gawky and awkward...

7. everything in your life is going great, but you can't shake small inklings of discontent...

I must be getting a case of the "Back-to-school-Blues..." I can't believe it is so soon! This week in my "Believing God" Bible study, I learned about how powerful God made our tongues--words, how he intended for us to use that power and those words to glorify him and encourage others. I also studied how, on the flip side, words spoken to us by others have a serious impact on our self-views, worth, esteem. Ultimately, the study encouraged us to find healing from words, past hurts, etc.

This week's words came at the perfect time for me, and today I want to be intentional about using words of encouragement and affirmation to those I love as well as find what God's word says about our worth and his amazing love for us.

Don't you just hate it when...

1.

2. "crisis dust" seems to be sprinkled around friends and family from every angle and you can't understand the logic, reason, or pattern...

3. you waste time without realizing it, and you have the harsh realization that you can't get that time back...

4.

5. you hear bad news about marriages...

6. you can be dressed cute and feel "put together" and then be around someone who in their precious petiteness, or intellectual vocabulary, or calm confidence can make you feel gawky and awkward...

7. everything in your life is going great, but you can't shake small inklings of discontent...

I must be getting a case of the "Back-to-school-Blues..." I can't believe it is so soon! This week in my "Believing God" Bible study, I learned about how powerful God made our tongues--words, how he intended for us to use that power and those words to glorify him and encourage others. I also studied how, on the flip side, words spoken to us by others have a serious impact on our self-views, worth, esteem. Ultimately, the study encouraged us to find healing from words, past hurts, etc.

This week's words came at the perfect time for me, and today I want to be intentional about using words of encouragement and affirmation to those I love as well as find what God's word says about our worth and his amazing love for us.

The week I've been waiting for all summer...

Is finally here!!!

I can't believe that it is the end of an era... I saw The Order of the Phoenix last week (my favorite of the 6 in print), and it just set the stage and intensified my anticipation. I am dressing as Hermione Granger on Friday night and heading for the Borders Bookstore Potter party. There will be festivities all night, and at midnight they will present us with our 40% off pre-ordered copy. I plan to come home and read ALL night long. And all day the next... and the next... I've cleared my schedule, and this, to me, is what summer is all about--and this summer, it presents itself as an exceptionally HIGH highlight among the otherwise monotonous packing and unpacking of boxes... :)

Anyway, I have such mixed emotions. On the one hand, I am ready for all of my questions to be answered: Is Snape bad? Is Dumbledore really dead? Will Harry die? What about all the prophecies...? On the other, at the end of the book, it will be OVER. I don't know if I am quite ready for this. But, hopefully by Sunday (at the latest! :)) I will have my answers and some closure.

This pleasure read, followed by my class reunion the next Saturday, serve as my finale for Summer. Then, I am forcing myself to get back into school mode. I recently found out that this year I'll be teaching 10th grade honors and general classes. It will comprise of world literature, composition, and speech. It will be quite a change from my 11th and 12th American and British lit classes, but it is a welcome change as I will also get to teach some of these modern world lit pieces: The Kite Runner and Night. Although both have been on my list, I've yet to read either. So, I'll be busy!

Is finally here!!!

I can't believe that it is the end of an era... I saw The Order of the Phoenix last week (my favorite of the 6 in print), and it just set the stage and intensified my anticipation. I am dressing as Hermione Granger on Friday night and heading for the Borders Bookstore Potter party. There will be festivities all night, and at midnight they will present us with our 40% off pre-ordered copy. I plan to come home and read ALL night long. And all day the next... and the next... I've cleared my schedule, and this, to me, is what summer is all about--and this summer, it presents itself as an exceptionally HIGH highlight among the otherwise monotonous packing and unpacking of boxes... :)

Anyway, I have such mixed emotions. On the one hand, I am ready for all of my questions to be answered: Is Snape bad? Is Dumbledore really dead? Will Harry die? What about all the prophecies...? On the other, at the end of the book, it will be OVER. I don't know if I am quite ready for this. But, hopefully by Sunday (at the latest! :)) I will have my answers and some closure.

This pleasure read, followed by my class reunion the next Saturday, serve as my finale for Summer. Then, I am forcing myself to get back into school mode. I recently found out that this year I'll be teaching 10th grade honors and general classes. It will comprise of world literature, composition, and speech. It will be quite a change from my 11th and 12th American and British lit classes, but it is a welcome change as I will also get to teach some of these modern world lit pieces: The Kite Runner and Night. Although both have been on my list, I've yet to read either. So, I'll be busy!

19 minutes

I stayed up late last night to finish this one. I think it is my favorite of the summer so far.

This is one of those books that makes you want to change the way you live. In the midst of a tragic, violent act, each reader makes various judgments about the players involved--while at the same time being unable to truly place blame on any one individual.

Each character was sympathetic and it was easy to identify with some aspect of most of them. As a school teacher, it made me want to be intentional about showing compassion to those students who are on the outskirts, who are mistreated and do not fit in. It made me angry. It reinforced how every situation or incident can play an integral part in the psyche of any person.

I stayed up late last night to finish this one. I think it is my favorite of the summer so far.

This is one of those books that makes you want to change the way you live. In the midst of a tragic, violent act, each reader makes various judgments about the players involved--while at the same time being unable to truly place blame on any one individual.

Each character was sympathetic and it was easy to identify with some aspect of most of them. As a school teacher, it made me want to be intentional about showing compassion to those students who are on the outskirts, who are mistreated and do not fit in. It made me angry. It reinforced how every situation or incident can play an integral part in the psyche of any person.

Living out of boxes...

This is us. We are living out of boxes.

But life is good!

In one short month we have completely transplanted our life and are beginning a new life. When I look back on the details of the way everything has played out, I know that God both initiated and organized every step. I love that He cares about the details of our lives...

There is so much left to do, but I am thankful to have the month of July to get settled.

It's so nice to see family on such a regular, casual basis. What wonderful opportunities that I hadn't realized I'd been missing.

My goal is to be completely settled by the 11th because I have a meeting at school on the 12th, and I want to focus on getting my classroom ready at that point. I continue to be very impressed with this school system, and I can't wait to begin this leg of my career.

And we continue to get settled one box at a time...

This is us. We are living out of boxes.

But life is good!

In one short month we have completely transplanted our life and are beginning a new life. When I look back on the details of the way everything has played out, I know that God both initiated and organized every step. I love that He cares about the details of our lives...

There is so much left to do, but I am thankful to have the month of July to get settled.

It's so nice to see family on such a regular, casual basis. What wonderful opportunities that I hadn't realized I'd been missing.

My goal is to be completely settled by the 11th because I have a meeting at school on the 12th, and I want to focus on getting my classroom ready at that point. I continue to be very impressed with this school system, and I can't wait to begin this leg of my career.

And we continue to get settled one box at a time...

Locks of Love

So after months of postponement, I finally made the big cut and sent 101/2 inches of my mane to Locks of Love. It was time. Probably past time--I was to the point where I felt like a granola girl, and I was having constant headaches from the weight of my ponytail. It was quite an experience, and I took a few pictures to document the event...

BEFORE: I put my hair into 5 ponytails all around my face, and Tanya cut each one of them at a time. It was nerve-wracking, but she is the one person who I trust to do such a drastic thing.
DURING: This is just one of the 5 ponytails... AFTER: holding my hair.

So after months of postponement, I finally made the big cut and sent 101/2 inches of my mane to Locks of Love. It was time. Probably past time--I was to the point where I felt like a granola girl, and I was having constant headaches from the weight of my ponytail. It was quite an experience, and I took a few pictures to document the event...

BEFORE: I put my hair into 5 ponytails all around my face, and Tanya cut each one of them at a time. It was nerve-wracking, but she is the one person who I trust to do such a drastic thing.
DURING: This is just one of the 5 ponytails... AFTER: holding my hair.

Our New Digs

We found a house! We're closing on the old house on the 21st, the new house the 22nd, and moving the 23rd! Crazy. Our new house is in a small community near my hometown and close to our jobs. We're pretty close to Mom and Dad's and Lindsay and Daniel's too. This is so exciting, but stressful... Better get back to packing, but I am lucky because I have Lindsay, the master organizer, here to help me.

***EDIT***Here are some inside pics per request...

We found a house! We're closing on the old house on the 21st, the new house the 22nd, and moving the 23rd! Crazy. Our new house is in a small community near my hometown and close to our jobs. We're pretty close to Mom and Dad's and Lindsay and Daniel's too. This is so exciting, but stressful... Better get back to packing, but I am lucky because I have Lindsay, the master organizer, here to help me.

***EDIT***Here are some inside pics per request...

Dead Weight

In response to my friend Jen's challenge and my tentative moving date (June 21 with sale pending inspection), I have decided to chunk the dead weight. I mentioned in a previous post that I am a pack rat. Yesterday, I threw away* sweaters that I hadn't worn in years, old magazines and invoices, some cassette mixes, a clock left at the house by previous owners, and pictures/posters that haven't been on the wall since I lived in a dorm room.

Today, my task is to throw away Maggie's toys that she has ripped stuffing out of...( I've had to face the simple truth that I'm NOT going to sew them back together... nice idea, right?!), clean out drawers, and trash some of my "collectible" cards (of the thank you note, Easter, St. Patrick's day genre...).

Although I'm having to MAKE myself go through this process, it actually feels good--even sort of freeing. The motivating factors for me are, "Do I REALLY want to pack this on a truck and move it 4 hours away?" and "Where the heck am I going to put all this stuff in my next house?"

What's weighing you down that you should chunk?

*Goodwill, Salvation Army, or Missions Bin at church... still pondering.

In response to my friend Jen's challenge and my tentative moving date (June 21 with sale pending inspection), I have decided to chunk the dead weight. I mentioned in a previous post that I am a pack rat. Yesterday, I threw away* sweaters that I hadn't worn in years, old magazines and invoices, some cassette mixes, a clock left at the house by previous owners, and pictures/posters that haven't been on the wall since I lived in a dorm room.

Today, my task is to throw away Maggie's toys that she has ripped stuffing out of...( I've had to face the simple truth that I'm NOT going to sew them back together... nice idea, right?!), clean out drawers, and trash some of my "collectible" cards (of the thank you note, Easter, St. Patrick's day genre...).

Although I'm having to MAKE myself go through this process, it actually feels good--even sort of freeing. The motivating factors for me are, "Do I REALLY want to pack this on a truck and move it 4 hours away?" and "Where the heck am I going to put all this stuff in my next house?"

What's weighing you down that you should chunk?

*Goodwill, Salvation Army, or Missions Bin at church... still pondering.

10 years and still going strong...

My high school graduating class of 1997...

I can hardly believe it! My 10-year class reunion is just around the corner. It is just 2 months away...

I don't quite know what to think about it. My graduating class was a pretty tight knit group, and many of us have kept in touch over the years. I still don't know what to expect though because you hear all those stories...

My mom said that at hers, old-school couples were hooking up, and that it was a pretty dangerous atmosphere. I don't expect anything like that, but what DO you expect? I imagine it can be a pretty awkward thing for the spouses as well. It will be interesting to see who people married, pictures of babies (although there aren't very many that I know of in our class...), what classmates look like, etc... I don't know what to wear! I mean, what DO you wear to something like this?!?

Did you go to yours? What was it like? Will you go to yours? Why or why not? Any thoughts, opinions, or stories are welcome!

My high school graduating class of 1997...

I can hardly believe it! My 10-year class reunion is just around the corner. It is just 2 months away...

I don't quite know what to think about it. My graduating class was a pretty tight knit group, and many of us have kept in touch over the years. I still don't know what to expect though because you hear all those stories...

My mom said that at hers, old-school couples were hooking up, and that it was a pretty dangerous atmosphere. I don't expect anything like that, but what DO you expect? I imagine it can be a pretty awkward thing for the spouses as well. It will be interesting to see who people married, pictures of babies (although there aren't very many that I know of in our class...), what classmates look like, etc... I don't know what to wear! I mean, what DO you wear to something like this?!?

Did you go to yours? What was it like? Will you go to yours? Why or why not? Any thoughts, opinions, or stories are welcome!

Everything Changes!

Everything is changing so fast. During my hiatus from blogging and temporary overdose with facebook, everything about my life has been going under complete transformation... Patrick and I are moving back to the Nashville area this summer. He has accepted a job as a building superintendent, and I have accepted a teaching job. It should not come as such a surprise to me because we have been open to the idea for awhile, but we had no idea on what time table... or that it would happen THIS soon. At the end of April, we went to the beach for a long weekend, and we just dreamed outloud about our future... as is so easy to do at the beach. Several opportunities hit us at once, and here we go!

We are so excited!!! But also soooo overwhelmed! I used to be a free-spirit, one trunk kind of mover. I cannot count the number of times I have moved since college... You want to move to Charleston for the summer? You want to move into the mansion (XO) next semester? YOu want to take a break before grad school and move to Tuscaloosa for the summer? I know you want to live in my trailer for your last semester!?!? I was always up for it. Since I have been in my house for two years, I have become quite the nester. I have always been a bit of a pack rat--having kept my penpal letters from my friend Amelia when she moved to Kansas, every Birthday card, encouragement card, and even some thoughtful thank you notes... I have pictures and memorabilia from all vacations and mission trips. My closets are full! I'm freaking out...

Not to mention that I have the stress of selling the house, leaving my job, friends, church, surroundings... and moving to a new house, new job, new (and some old) friends, church hunting, and new surroundings... We are definitely in the chaos stage of the diagram right now!

Even so, I am confident, excited, and at peace that this is the right move for us. We have thought and prayed for so long, and God has just taken care of one detail at a time--making it ever-clear for us. It is a good time in our life to do this; it will put us closer to our families; it will relieve us of some emotional and spiritual stress; and it will give us freedom to pursue our dreams. Temporary pain=Long-term gain! :) Keep us in your thoughts, and we'll keep you posted.

Everything is changing so fast. During my hiatus from blogging and temporary overdose with facebook, everything about my life has been going under complete transformation... Patrick and I are moving back to the Nashville area this summer. He has accepted a job as a building superintendent, and I have accepted a teaching job. It should not come as such a surprise to me because we have been open to the idea for awhile, but we had no idea on what time table... or that it would happen THIS soon. At the end of April, we went to the beach for a long weekend, and we just dreamed outloud about our future... as is so easy to do at the beach. Several opportunities hit us at once, and here we go!

We are so excited!!! But also soooo overwhelmed! I used to be a free-spirit, one trunk kind of mover. I cannot count the number of times I have moved since college... You want to move to Charleston for the summer? You want to move into the mansion (XO) next semester? YOu want to take a break before grad school and move to Tuscaloosa for the summer? I know you want to live in my trailer for your last semester!?!? I was always up for it. Since I have been in my house for two years, I have become quite the nester. I have always been a bit of a pack rat--having kept my penpal letters from my friend Amelia when she moved to Kansas, every Birthday card, encouragement card, and even some thoughtful thank you notes... I have pictures and memorabilia from all vacations and mission trips. My closets are full! I'm freaking out...

Not to mention that I have the stress of selling the house, leaving my job, friends, church, surroundings... and moving to a new house, new job, new (and some old) friends, church hunting, and new surroundings... We are definitely in the chaos stage of the diagram right now!

Even so, I am confident, excited, and at peace that this is the right move for us. We have thought and prayed for so long, and God has just taken care of one detail at a time--making it ever-clear for us. It is a good time in our life to do this; it will put us closer to our families; it will relieve us of some emotional and spiritual stress; and it will give us freedom to pursue our dreams. Temporary pain=Long-term gain! :) Keep us in your thoughts, and we'll keep you posted.

My Visual DNA

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Sadness

Please pray for our family. Our 3-year-old niece, Haley Beth, lost her daddy, Michael Hamilton of Decatur, to his long-fought battle with cancer this morning. He was 35. We are sad for our loss, but we are so thankful for and peaceful about God's sweet patience with him.

Please pray for our family. Our 3-year-old niece, Haley Beth, lost her daddy, Michael Hamilton of Decatur, to his long-fought battle with cancer this morning. He was 35. We are sad for our loss, but we are so thankful for and peaceful about God's sweet patience with him.

Realization

I have realized something about myself. I deal with stressful situations through denial. Then I freak out. It's why I am often messy, why I feel tired, why I procrastinate. Sometimes that's ok. Sometimes it's not. Right now it's not. I am realizing that much of my life is passing me by. I have quit being intentional with many things--and am just making it from one day to the next, which turns into one week to the next, months, and I am afraid, even years.

I don't want to live this way. God's word tells me that we are not promised more than this second. Why do I waste so much time? I have so many hopes, dreams, goals to accomplish. I am no closer to them than I was even a year ago.

I pledge today to live this one to the fullest. and the one after that. and the one after that. I have to start somewhere.

I have realized something about myself. I deal with stressful situations through denial. Then I freak out. It's why I am often messy, why I feel tired, why I procrastinate. Sometimes that's ok. Sometimes it's not. Right now it's not. I am realizing that much of my life is passing me by. I have quit being intentional with many things--and am just making it from one day to the next, which turns into one week to the next, months, and I am afraid, even years.

I don't want to live this way. God's word tells me that we are not promised more than this second. Why do I waste so much time? I have so many hopes, dreams, goals to accomplish. I am no closer to them than I was even a year ago.

I pledge today to live this one to the fullest. and the one after that. and the one after that. I have to start somewhere.

Humor me, Harper Lee!

I was HERE!

Last night will be a night that I will always remember. It will definitely by a spotlight from the "Montgomery years" that I will look back on with delight. I got to experience what every book-loving English teacher could dream of--being in the presence of her hero.

For more information about the event, click here and read a touching story of two schools merging, and Harper Lee making a rare public appearance.

In my elementary, middle, and high school years, two books really touched me, opened my eyes, and made me passionate about the world of literature and reading: Anne of Green Gables (and Avonlea to follow) and To Kill a Mockingbird. When I was in college and was choosing between two sororities, a fact that pushed me over to one side (with several others) was that Harper Lee had indeed pledged Chi Omega. Trivial, I know, but true.

Yesterday, at about 10 a.m., I found out that Harper Lee had planned to make somewhat of a last-minute appearance--which is an extreme rarity as she avoids the public limelight and lives a reclusive lifestyle--at a joint high schools' performance of her famous work. Lee's teachers and students were invited to this invitation only event compliments of the State Department of Education. I almost fell out of my chair, and I completely rearranged my day and night. My good friend, Britani, who shares a love of TKAM, was able to share this special event, and we were moved. The performance was excellent, and just seeing her was worth it. We did almost go borderline psycho with plans to follow her limo, or walk the streets of Monroeville and just happen to show up at her church with our copies of TKAM for her to sign. How convenient, right? But, alas, we refrained... (I also refrained from wearing my Chi-O jersey! :))

Coming soon are some pictures that we took from the event...

I was HERE!

Last night will be a night that I will always remember. It will definitely by a spotlight from the "Montgomery years" that I will look back on with delight. I got to experience what every book-loving English teacher could dream of--being in the presence of her hero.

For more information about the event, click here and read a touching story of two schools merging, and Harper Lee making a rare public appearance.

In my elementary, middle, and high school years, two books really touched me, opened my eyes, and made me passionate about the world of literature and reading: Anne of Green Gables (and Avonlea to follow) and To Kill a Mockingbird. When I was in college and was choosing between two sororities, a fact that pushed me over to one side (with several others) was that Harper Lee had indeed pledged Chi Omega. Trivial, I know, but true.

Yesterday, at about 10 a.m., I found out that Harper Lee had planned to make somewhat of a last-minute appearance--which is an extreme rarity as she avoids the public limelight and lives a reclusive lifestyle--at a joint high schools' performance of her famous work. Lee's teachers and students were invited to this invitation only event compliments of the State Department of Education. I almost fell out of my chair, and I completely rearranged my day and night. My good friend, Britani, who shares a love of TKAM, was able to share this special event, and we were moved. The performance was excellent, and just seeing her was worth it. We did almost go borderline psycho with plans to follow her limo, or walk the streets of Monroeville and just happen to show up at her church with our copies of TKAM for her to sign. How convenient, right? But, alas, we refrained... (I also refrained from wearing my Chi-O jersey! :))

Coming soon are some pictures that we took from the event...

Freedom Writers

Great Movie! Go see it now.
Inspired me to think outside the box and be passionate about everything I do. For more info, go here. Any other thoughts?

Great Movie! Go see it now.
Inspired me to think outside the box and be passionate about everything I do. For more info, go here. Any other thoughts?

"Teens" say the funniest things...

So this morning Patrick was teaching the 7th and 8th graders at church. It was a refreshing change to move from the unresponsive dragging older kids to the overly excited younger teens. Instead of having no class participation, we experienced having 10 hands raised immediately to any given question. While we didn't accomplish all of the class plan for the day, we did have some funny/interesting questions posed by our young Christian friends:

(1) My grandfather doesn't go to church...(pause)
But my grandmother does...(longer pause)
But one time I heard my grandfather say that he prayed for his brother...(pause)
Can he still be a Christian? (said with every bit of sincerity possible)

(2) So, you know those people who come to "church" but stay out where the chairs are(ergo, the lobby)and never actually come into where the singing and stuff is? Are they Christians?

Do you have any funny stories of things kids or teens say?

So this morning Patrick was teaching the 7th and 8th graders at church. It was a refreshing change to move from the unresponsive dragging older kids to the overly excited younger teens. Instead of having no class participation, we experienced having 10 hands raised immediately to any given question. While we didn't accomplish all of the class plan for the day, we did have some funny/interesting questions posed by our young Christian friends:

(1) My grandfather doesn't go to church...(pause)
But my grandmother does...(longer pause)
But one time I heard my grandfather say that he prayed for his brother...(pause)
Can he still be a Christian? (said with every bit of sincerity possible)

(2) So, you know those people who come to "church" but stay out where the chairs are(ergo, the lobby)and never actually come into where the singing and stuff is? Are they Christians?

Do you have any funny stories of things kids or teens say?

Ear Candling

Are you having trouble hearing? Do your ears feel itchy? Then you should definitely try the cleansing power of ear candling. Ashley, Laura, and I did it tonight, and it was disgustingly fascinating--as well as a little dangerous. If you venture into this theraputic experience, make sure you have paper plates, aluminum foil, scissors, a lighter of some sort, and some water in case the flames, or ashes in our case, get a little out of control. (We very possibly could have set the condo--or our hair--on fire. Ew.) You'll be amazed at what comes out of your ear. I mean fascinatingly disgustedly amazed! Q-tips don't do it justice. I actually saved mine for a short time to show Patrick and make him proud :), and I ended up showing some of the teens in our youth group too. It's always fun to shock teens... They were in awe and begged me to take out the van to get them some ear candles. That'd be a worthwhile sight! You can find these lovely devices at your nearest GNC or health foods store. Enjoy and be careful!

P.S. This picture is not an actual safe portrayal of the procedure. Please use a paper plate wrapped in foil as a shield for the stray ashes and sparks!

Are you having trouble hearing? Do your ears feel itchy? Then you should definitely try the cleansing power of ear candling. Ashley, Laura, and I did it tonight, and it was disgustingly fascinating--as well as a little dangerous. If you venture into this theraputic experience, make sure you have paper plates, aluminum foil, scissors, a lighter of some sort, and some water in case the flames, or ashes in our case, get a little out of control. (We very possibly could have set the condo--or our hair--on fire. Ew.) You'll be amazed at what comes out of your ear. I mean fascinatingly disgustedly amazed! Q-tips don't do it justice. I actually saved mine for a short time to show Patrick and make him proud :), and I ended up showing some of the teens in our youth group too. It's always fun to shock teens... They were in awe and begged me to take out the van to get them some ear candles. That'd be a worthwhile sight! You can find these lovely devices at your nearest GNC or health foods store. Enjoy and be careful!

P.S. This picture is not an actual safe portrayal of the procedure. Please use a paper plate wrapped in foil as a shield for the stray ashes and sparks!